I'd like to have a thrifty at-home date night with my husband, but he is the sort of guy who doesn't like too much closeness or sharing. A direct approach is definitely not on.
Any ideas on how to cope in this situation?
By Helen from Ireland
A good movie with pizza or popcorn and favorite beverage.
Take in meal from grocery store if you don't want to cook up something special with lit fragrance candles would create relaxation and tranquil mood and favorite singing artist for background music.
After the main meal, enjoy your photo albums together with dessert or drinks. You're bound to converse while browsing through pictures.
Dine in/out, but afterward take a pleasurable evening stroll together.
My ex was like that and nothing worked. Thus he is my ex. Being married to someone that is not emotionally mature is very difficult. Some things to try are foot rubs, his favorite food, his favorite movie, etc. Good luck!
Perhaps he never has learned to converse; many people have not; you say something and then ask a question and instead of your mind racing ahead make it focus on what he/she says; then based on what is said; think on it; then come up with a response and another question that makes them have to respond to you. It may take a little: but this is the art of conversation; once you get it down pat, it's easy to draw people out; break out of your shell knowing it's ok to be rejected; let it roll off of you like water off a ducks back; do not take it personally or be upset over it; do you know how to play poker? Does he? How about uno or other card games? Scrabble, bunco? How about checking up on dancing classes? Line dancing is a kick and you can all be laughing and learning and meeting others at the same time!
Or square dancing; ballroom dancing, salsa dancing looks fun!
What brought you both together, talk about that. What hobbies if any does he have - talk about them by asking him questions about it. Does he enjoy sunrises or sunsets? View one together and talk about the colors God creates with them while cuddling. Ask him questions about 'what he thinks about something or how would he do something'. Ask him if he would like for you to lightly scratch or rub his scalp, back, arms, thighs and calves (my honey loves that). No matter how old we are we all enjoy some sort of stroking, petting, attention and shown concern.
Let us know how you turned out on this issue and if our suggestions helped you in anyway. :)
I just came across this post so you might have already had your date night, but maybe if you started slowly and low-key - maybe with just a movie and a nice meal and dessert, and then try to schedule a date night every so often. There are some fun games out there which might help move the conversation along, like "would you rather" and "scruples", both of which ask what you would do in a certain situation, they're funny and fun conversation starters. I wouldn't try anything radically different at first, though, or you'll scare him off. Good luck! :)
Add your voice! Click below to comment. ThriftyFun is powered by your wisdom!