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Sam and Edith were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.
Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates, and there an escort was waiting to show them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath and their favorite clothes hanging in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."
Why did the man throw his buttered toast?
Because he wanted to watch the butterfly.
Has anyone ever noticed that the only food that never goes up in price is "food for thought"?
By Robin from Washington, IA
What did one pancake say to the other pancake?
See you on the flip side.
By JOHN (Made that one up myself.)
How do you fix a broken pizza?
With tomato paste!
By Holly Dawson
What did one mushroom say to the other mushroom?
Your one fungi to be with.
A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in a farmer's garden.
"I'll give you my 2 pennies for that tomato." said the boy pointing to the beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine.
"No," said the farmer, "I get a dime for a tomato like that one."
The small boy pointed to the smaller green one, "Will you take 2 pennies for that one?"
"Yes, " replied the farmer, "I'll give you that one for 2."
"OK," said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmers hand, "I'll pick it up in about a week."
By Terri H.
Q: Which is better, perfect contentment or a ham sandwich? A: A ham sandwich. Because nothing is better than perfect contentment but... a ham sandwich is better than nothing! By Anna