Losing A Feline Friend?

We lost Clara, one of our feline friends just a couple of hours ago and I need to share this sad experience with some of the cat lovers out there. Would this be possible? I sure could use some feedback. Thank you so much.


BigMaya from Desert, IL

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September 22, 20080 found this helpful

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. All I can tell you is that Clara was obviously well loved, and had a good life with owners who really cared for her.

When my Daughters cat, Patches, died, she was devastated. My daughter was 22, Patches was 15, she cried and cried, and I felt so helpless. I told her that she had to hold on to all the wonderful cat memories she had of Patches. She looked at me and said, "But Mom, who will I tell my secrets too now?". Needless to say I was in tears.....After a time, there was enough healing to make room for another "keeper of secrets", Fred, an older stray cat.


He had 7 good years making memories with my Daughter, and after a struggle with poor health, finally secumbed this past June......

We are the ones who will cry and miss them. They are the ones who have enriched our lives with their funny ways, and their remarkable personalities.
One day, you will find that there will be room once again for you to open your hearts to another furry friend, probably someone Clara would approve of.

Remember Me with Smiles. Laughter.......and the occasional fur ball....

Take Care, Hedera

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September 22, 20080 found this helpful


my name is Cindy and me and my husband lost our manx cat this year we had for 21 years it was a sad day for us that day.
he was a very special cat to us and just like losing a family member.

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By Michelle (Guest Post)
September 22, 20080 found this helpful

I'm so sorry for you loss. Our cat, Missy, passed on about two weeks ago. You can see her picture here:



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By Cathy (Guest Post)
September 22, 20080 found this helpful

Four years ago I (along with my grown daughter whose cat she originally was - we got her when daughter was 10) had to put down our 18-year-old cat Tinker. It was a difficult decision but the right one; she got very ill very fast. Being there and holding her during the process was definitely the right thing for me; it gave me peace, I knew I was doing the right thing, and most of all, Tinker knew I was there. It may not be right for everyone but it was for me. My daughter had a harder time, b/c after Tinker passed her eyes were a little bit open and my daughter couldn't look at her - "she really isn't there" - but it helped me to hold her for many minutes afterward and whisper my final good-byes and thank her for being my loving kitty, two "old ladies" together.


Grieving is a process and everyone grieves differently. Do NOT listen to anyone who says "You should be over it by NOW!" Grieve in your own way and on YOUR timeline. Eventually it does get easier but I still miss her, even with two "new" cats ("temporary" custody - HA!). For all of us pet and animal lovers, they ARE a member of the family. Remember all the good times and how unconditional your pet's love was. No matter what the circumstances of "how" your pet "left" you, when you are ready for another animal, please consider your local shelter/SPCA/rescue organization. All of our pets have come to us this way and have all been the most wonderful additions to our families. It WILL get easier with time.

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By Maryanne (Guest Post)
September 22, 20080 found this helpful

Dear friend,
Your pain and loss must be quite overwhelming at this time. Sometimes waves of despair will wash over you perhaps. This is a time to be with other people as much as possible, if it comforts you to do so. Clara is not in pain or suffering now and would want you to feel comforted by that. I sincerely believe that animals, including our pets, will be in heaven. Clara was a bit of heaven here for you.


May you find rest and reassurance dear friend :)

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September 22, 20080 found this helpful

I am sorry for your loss. She was a member of your family, regardless of what others who don't understand might say. I lost my Sasha last year, after a brief illness. She was possibly the best cat I had ever had in my life, up to that point. There are still days that I miss her dearly.

After Sasha's illness, I had planned on holding off on getting another cat, but life had other plans for me. Within six months of Sasha's passing, I learned of two cats that were in bad situations and decided it was time to add to the menagerie. I am the first to admit that I probably wouldn't have given these two cats a second glance had Sasha still been here, so I do wonder about animals and people having a purpose in someone's life. It could be coincidental, but I'd like to think that Sasha was watching over these two for me.


Looking over the responses, I think you have a lot of willing listeners if you do want to talk. You have a lot of memories and stories of your cat, and she won't ever be truly gone as long as you have those.

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September 23, 20080 found this helpful

Thank you all so much for your feedback and for your kind words!!

Clara was an absolutely georgeous, beautiful and smart as hell tricolor stray. A huge monster who grew up to be 15 pounds of feline muscle. Just as she showed up one day out of the bushes in front of our front gate, walked up to my husband who happened to be waiting for her.... posted herself to her full height of three months, and yelled something like "where the hell do you live, I am hungry, let's go..." :) She moved in and until lately never ever ventured outside our front patio anymore. Eventually she learned to open doors - all doors - but only to let the others out..... She loved to sleep on her back, streching herself to her full length, we would sometimes tell her she is a shamless something....
But her beautiful amber eyes gazed at us saying "I know what I look like, I can afford to be seen like that, mind you!" She loved to make life hell for Maya, Ginger, Shirah who lived in permanent fear of her and her mean tricks.... watching out for them when they walked off the litterbox.... around corners, going into hiding and waiting for them to pass her by so she could jump and smack them over the head..... It got so that they were afraid to go to the toilette and I had to walk them and wait while they did their business....
She loved to drink tap water best, when we came out of the shower she would wait for us sitted inside the sink and would greet us as if she hadnt seen us in ages....

We don't know what happened to her last Thursday.... Friday morning we were still missing her so I went looking for her, I found her exactly at the same place she had been when she first came to us.... She looked scared and very stressed and I so much hoped that she would hold on... until i could take her to the clinic..... But I was wrong.

Though we have another 12 feline furry monsters we slave for and some 6 to 8 ocassional feline guests who come to take a nap, a pat or just a meal.... both my husband and I can't help feeling so guilty. We are absolutely devastated and even when we don't talk about her, we only have to look at each other to know that we are seeing her and thinking about her.

Sorry for venting so long......but thanks for listening anyway!!

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September 23, 20080 found this helpful

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. She sounds like an angel cat who will be in your heart forever. It is hard to lose a cherished purr meow, I know. I have had to say goodbye to two since we began having cats as companions, my husband and I. What is sadder still is we are now so deathly allergic to cat saliva we cannot have any more as pets. To me, if I can't have a cat, I will live with the memories of my cats who have passed on rather than try to have another kind of pet. I understand your loss and feel for you.

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September 23, 20080 found this helpful

This poem has given me much comfort:

(Author Unknown)

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food and water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who have been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing, they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His/her bright eyes are intent; his/her eager body begins to quiver. Suddenly s/he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his/her legs carrying him/her faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face, your hands again
caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone form your life but never absent from your heart.

Then together you and your special pet cross the Rainbow Bridge.

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September 23, 20080 found this helpful

and thank you for sharing. I lost my short-time friend Oscar a couple of months ago (My 20 year-old friend Pepper died from complications from diabetes and I adopted an 11 year old who developed diabetes after a year and died after 2 more). It wasn't that I didn't treat the diabetes, they had their daily and twice daily insulin shots and doctor checkups and ate food for diabetes management, but both were old and I miss them both so much. I was on PetFinders tonight and think I have a found a younger (already) declawed female not too far from here. I won't declaw an animal, but am not up to training another not to scratch furniture. Since some have already been declawed, I hope to make a good home for her....sorry, I guess I had to get that out. I am so sorry for your loss, and am glad that you have other felines to comfort you, though I know that there's really no replacing the one gone. Love, and take care of yourselves. Susan

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September 24, 20080 found this helpful

You and your husband should not feel guilty! You provided her with a wonderful home of other cats and parents who loved her! You opened your heart and home and her last moments on earth were in your arms. What else could any pet hope for. You should always be proud that Clara was there for you and you for her. My heart breaks for you. I lost my beloved pet just this summer, after 18 years. I truely believe that there are angels on earth, and those little critters are our wings.

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September 24, 20080 found this helpful

I do feel for you so, I had a great friend leave me this year, and although it doesnt really help to say that memories will mellow and the hurt will give way to good memories, it is true.
Make a move of friendship and you will rarely be shunned.

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By Marie (Guest Post)
September 24, 20080 found this helpful


Time to let me go my friend,
Because my life no one can mend,
Its better to let me go this way,
Than watch me suffer night and day.

I'm happy to go, my time has come,
My quality of life is no longer fun,
Ive been so ill, so its not a bad thing,
To let me go forever resting.

Stay with me till I drift away,
Fast asleep forever I pray,
To relieve me from suffering and pain,
What more can I ask from my best friend.

Don't be sad, I'll be free from pain,
Never to be ill ever again,
I know you'll miss me being there,
But all the memories you have to share.

Thank you for being my best friend,
And all my needs that you did tend,
Try not to be sad, try not to cry,
Now is the time to say goodbye.

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By Artlady (Guest Post)
September 24, 20080 found this helpful

I am so sorry for your loss. I knew you'd gets lots of encourage on this site! People on here are wonderful and dearly love their pets.

I can hear your sorrow in your words and feel your pain in my heart. We lost our Buddy at 15 years. He did the same thing as Clara with the shower! We had to put him to sleep, which was very painful. We ended up having to take him to the Emergency Vet. Hospital on the weekend.

Our whole family (two grown children) went to take him. We prayed in the car before going in, that the Lord would take away his pain and we would see him again one day. The vet that ended up putting him to sleep picked him up so gently, wrapped him in a towel and kissed him on his head. Boy, did the tears flow! We were so comforted knowing that God would be looking after him until we met again.

We had not been to that particular vet before, but he became our vet because he was so compassionate. And, since that day I have been giving him plaques that I make so he can give to the owners of pets he has to put to sleep. I would be very pleased to give you one of these plaques to help comfort you. They say, "Heaven's the place where all the cats you've ever loved will come to greet you."

If you would like to email me your address, I'd be honored to make and send you a plaque. My email is debby AT allamericanarts(dot)com. (Replace the dot with a period.) I pray that God will reveal His purpose for taking your beloved Clara. When this happens, you will feel the blessings He has for you.

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September 24, 20080 found this helpful

Hi Everyone and THANKS again for your conforting and feeling comments!! I really do appreciat that!
Unfortunately except for you all here, the vet (she is a wonderful vet and person!!) the girls working at the clinic, and of course my husband!! there is nobody I can talk to about the sorrow and pain on losing Clara.

While having a frugal dinner just now, me sitted at the edge of the chair as most of it was required and taken by Grucho.... (he isn't THAT big , REALLY!!) my husband and I talked about Clara..... and about the fact that even though we hurt a lot, it is really not about US but about CLARA!! And her having to go when she was only 3 years old and she had all her feline life before her!! We feel so sorry for her! Maybe it would have been "less painful" or easier to bear if she would have been sick or that old and needed to be put to sleep to ease her pain.....
But her innocence and trust in us are especially so heartbreaking since we feel that we have let her down!

Please don't get me wrong... we have lost cats to sickness and we knew what to expect but with Clara.... one minute she was still here and then she was gone and that is so final!

Thanks for listening.

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By Artlady (Guest Post)
September 25, 20080 found this helpful

I just feel compelled to post again. About ten years ago, we lost our cat Fluffy. I totally felt it was my fault. I made her go outside because it was nice and sunny out. She was killed by a stray dog. The guilt ate away at me. She was my daughters love and joy. My daughter went into a deep depression. It took both my daughter and I some time to heal. But, now I can look back and trace all the blessings we have received as a result of this incident. It just amazes me at this point! I never would have thought so at the time. I will pray that God will help you to see His purpose in this and send you His blessings. There is a purpose for what has happened to Clara. Sometimes, we have to go through a lot of pain before we get to the joy. I pray God will lift your spirits and fill your mind with wonderful memories to replace all your guilt feelings. This, too, shall pass. Be open to see what you are supposed to learn from this. It may be it's just to help you learn to grieve. Or, you never know, God may have some other magnificent plan! I pray you will see it soon. God bless you.

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September 25, 20080 found this helpful

I am so sorry to hear about your loss and others too. I sit here in tears thinking about my lil
AllieMae she was a tortishell wild, sweet,a lot of things. She terrified mail man she would throw herself up to glass door and slide down slowly
hissing at mailman, daily. She would hop into
shower with me or husb and she LOVED solo
soaks in tub with her cat shampoo bubbles
and when water got cold her loud meoows would
mean add more warm water for lounging and swimming.I still have her paw print in cast I made
from cornstarch recipe and I painted it and put
her name on it. She was only 7 and one day
she was miserable I took her to vet and she was
so limp and had much wrong with her that I had
to let her go. I could not bear to see her in pain
and she HATED Vet trips. She was a special girl
I had no kids she had her own room to view outdoor birds, her fav snacks, toys and her own ornaments
for Christmas tree to pull down. Anyway I had just
lost my dad a few months before and I was stoic
and lost it when AllieMae went to kitty heaven.
I now have a doggie I took in an abused jack russell
and a yorkie both spoiled they now live with X
and I have my moms doggie a shih poo but
I keep the screename Meoowmom in Allie's
memory. It has been 5 years and it still feels like
yesterday sometimes.I lost my mom this Feb
and if it were not for her doggie I would not be here
today. I hope you find solace from all the wonderful
caring people here.

This pic is titled Cat Prints in Heaven

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September 30, 20080 found this helpful

Thanks Meeowmom and Artlady for posting again! It obviously has something to do with destiny, or whatever one may want to call it. Clara was such a huge strong cat and a such a bully too - she never had to go into a fight with anybody to make herself clear! Her body presence was enough. She was the only cat that never ever left the house before. Only lately did she start to venture outside but very carefully checking the grounds around her. Though we live in a city it is a rather quiet quarter with only narrow lanes and no streets, so there are no cars close by. We are really grateful for that! Still, we try to keep them all indoors as much as possible but since they are all strays who enjoyed - despite it all - being outside before, hiding in the bushes, climbing up trees and romping on the neighborhood's roofs, it is very difficult to lock them in all the time. Again, Thanks everybody!

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By Debs (Guest Post)
November 21, 20080 found this helpful

I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved Clara. We took our 12 year old cat Ziggy to the vets last Friday I gave him a pat on the head and told him to be good for the vet thinking we would see him very soon but they rang to tell us he had died after his op. I feel tremendous guilt I wasn't there for him at the end. He was a gorgeous cat so very dearly loved. We were just trying to make him better and now he is not here anymore. He is in my thoughts all of the time.

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November 22, 20080 found this helpful

Hi Debs, thanks for posting. I am sorry to hear about Ziggy, I think I know how you must feel. It is always so hard to have one of our loved pets taken away from us. Of course I can only speak for myself, but maybe you shouldn't wait too long before you take another pet in. This doesn't mean that you would be forgetting Ziggy, he will always have his special place in your heart, but a new pet to tend to, that needs your love and attention could be very comforting for you right now.
I know that our cats helped us to get over Clara's loss. Take care.

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