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As I can't shop I usually give (fairly large amounts) of money to my children and grandchildren for Christmas. My children usually thank me in some way or another, but not my grandchildren. Some of my grandchildren live 20 minutes away, a few live 2 hours away (their ages range from 10 to 40). The problem is these grandchildren never come to see me, call me on the phone, not even a Christmas card, birthday card, no thank you notes, no school pictures, no acknowledgement of any kind.
I no longer wish to give money to them. My husband says it will cause a lot of family trouble if I don't but I really don't want to give to them anymore. What should I do?
The money is yours. Sounds like your grands feel entitled to your money, and that your own children do nothing to convince them otherwise. If my parents gave my kids large sums of money, and my kids were not kissing Grandma's hand, and visiting, and calling, I would smack them myself!
Gifts are gifts, just that and that only. They are not income, payments, dues, etc. People today need to learn to be thankful for what they are given.
Best of luck to you, and hope you can figure out what works for you. As to your husband saying that it will cause problems. It very well may, but that is the recipients' fault, not yours.
You're story is so true to my own grandmother's. She goes through the same thing. I was the only one that thanked her and appreciated things. My other two cousins live 10 min. away and never come to see her, call etc...as well. And they most definitely don't thank her.
She was tired of giving large sums of money for x-mas without getting a "thank you". So, she starting giving cheap gifts. It's certainly put them in shock. If I were you, I would personally talk to your own children about your grand children's habits. I would just be completely honest and tell them how you feel.
You can't let the kids walk over you and expect to get money from you and snatch it and walk out the door basically! Christmas is about family, and hopefully you can straighten the situation out.
Give the money you would give them to a charity under their name and send them a Christmas card saying that such and such charity is thankful for their giving. When they get in touch with you to complain express how wonderful it is for them to finally get in touch with you and tell themthey should do it again some time under better circumstances.
Gave my grandchildren underwear one year - got their attention! Like the giving to charities with the thanks card for the kids.