5 Year Old Misbehaving at School?

What to do about a talkative 5 year old? My daughter won't stop talking in school that the teacher says she's not listening at all and keeps talking and won't raise her hand. The bus lady says Ginamarie unbuckles her seat belt and jumps around on the bus and won't listen to her. What do you suggest I should do? Please help me.


April from Belford, NJ

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Bronze Post Medal for All Time! 169 Posts
September 22, 20080 found this helpful

I used to work for a school district and they wouldn't hesitate to bar a kid from riding the bus if the behavior was rowdy enough or persistent enough. As for the classroom she should be barred from all activities till she can join the group and behave in a reasonable manner. I'm sure there are measures the teacher can take since we all know your kid isn't the first on earth to try this.

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September 22, 20080 found this helpful

Is she a "young" 5 year old? My daughter had a July birthday and went into Kindergarten one month later. Some of this could be immaturityand she will grow out of it. However, if it does not discontinue you could talk to your pediatrician for his thoughts - before the school system tries to label her as a behavior problem.


Also, does she have any extracurricular activities? Maybe she has some extra energy to burn. (Could she lend me some?)

Good luck! This is a very cute, and sometimes, trying age.

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September 22, 20080 found this helpful

Is your child well behaved at home, or are these typical behaviors? Is she used to wearing her seatbelt when you go in the car? If she wears her seatbelt in the car, have a talk with her about behaving the same way on the bus. Perhaps the bus driver can sit her with an older responsible student (like a grade 6 girl, for example) who could be a role model, and maybe tone down this rowdy behavior by good example and gentle persuasion.


As a teacher, I think it is the kindergarten teacher's job to keep a lid on things. If this is an experienced teacher who is telling you that your child is extraordinarily talkative, you may have to consider whether or not your child is more disruptive than most. If it is an inexperienced teacher, it may be that she has not yet learned good classroom management skills. In any case, have a little talk with your daughter about acceptable classroom behaviors.

Has your daughter had other experiences such as story hour or Sunday school or preschool or gymnastics or other sorts of lessons where she was expected to take turns, listen to the teacher, and co-operate? If she has behaved properly at these activities, she should be able to do so at school. If she hasn't had those sorts of experiences, perhaps she will settle down soon. She hasn't been at this kindergarten stuff for very long, after all.


If you think your daughter is immature in comparison to other 5 year olds, you may want to consider keeping her home for another year. Every kid is different, and some are not ready for kindergarten at 5 -- they are still in total play mode and do not want to listen to stories, co-operate with classmates, learn to take turns, cut and paste, sing with the group, and so on. Many kindergarten programs do a lot of reading readiness as well, and this is tough work for a child who is not interested in it all yet, because they are slower to mature.

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By Judy (Guest Post)
September 22, 20080 found this helpful

I am a teacher. I would have your daughter tested (outside the district) for ADD (attention deficit syndrome). She may not be behaving this way because she is disrespectful.


I would rule out any medical problem before I punished her.

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September 22, 20080 found this helpful

Baby number 5 was younger than the others in his class in our clan and had some of the same problems at school. He was not disruptive, but he did whispers to others at his table and was not good at listening to all that the teacher had to say. He heard the beginning of her instruction and then winged the rest. I went to school with him and spent the day after the teacher told me about the situation. For us, it was an easy fix. Our son was bored beyond belief. The teacher repeated everything over and over. With the teachers permission , I sent a book of flags and a ream of blank paper to school with him.


When his work was done . he simply opned up the flag book and drew one of the different countries flags on the page. Each day he would bring home the flags and we would write the name of the country on it and look it up on a map. I saved all 115 different flags he drew. It kept him quiet and not bored. Plus, he learned many flags and countries.

We never had a problem on the bus.

You might suggest to your teacher to have your child
moved to the front of the classroom. That way they have no one to talk to and they are not easily distracted.

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September 22, 20080 found this helpful

Bravo to momandmurray, Savings Assistant and Louel53 !!!

I find it interesting that a couple other posts so far made by professionals speak only of medical testing for ADD or punishment rather than good old fashioned common sense ...

Five decades ago I also was a 5 year old like this girl and it was because I was bored and trying to learn to socialize in the brand new world of school ... I was Blessed with a great teacher who spent some extra effort to ask me questions, give me answers and keep me busy :-)

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By Linda (Guest Post)
September 22, 20080 found this helpful

A 5 yr old can manifest ADD/ADHD but it is bit early to tell. How does she travel in your car-does she keep her seat belt on? Does she mind you and pat attention to ANYTHING. I suggest a behavior card where she can earn a star or sticker or something for "good bus ride" and "good listening" for each period of her day. When she brings home her card with a pre-arranged # of stars priase her to the skies and maybe offer a small reward like "pick your own snacl" or extra story tonite" If that isn't enough, tell her if she doesn't have enough stars she goes to bed right after dinner or whatever. If all else failsd behaviorally, maybe it is time to look at a medical evaluation.

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September 22, 20080 found this helpful

Sometimes being too young to understand the rules all the time WITHOUT being told ALL THE TIME is the issue. And a teacher does not have time to do this. I taught 4 yr old preschooler for 16 years. There were days I mentally duct taped! Then I learned to put those who were issues next to me or as close as I could and each week switch them so they did not have the same spot, but the same distance from me.

Another thing, have her eyes checked. This could be an issue. Are there alot of snacks available that fall into the high sugar food dyes catagory? My eldest who was a quiet child would have massive issues when snacks were of those types.
Watch her home diet, eliminate things such as foods that are on the FINEGOLD diet list of nonos. This helps behavior so much. Also, plan healthy breakfasts, more proteins than high glycemic foods. You WILL see the difference. If they are not dealing with sugared high and lows, but keeping the blood sugars even, learning will be even, behaviors will be less, I guarentee it. Diet is so much part of the ADD/HADD without medications and much easier on the child. This means the whole family makes changes, but then--what parent would not do the best thing for their child?

Add a reward system. A small child family member had similar issues in school so a chart was started in K and when he had good days, he got to put a sticker on HIS chart before leaving school. When he got 5 stickers (school every other day) he earned a special treat with my eldest son in HS. Simply gettinga ride home from school in the pickup, stopping by the DQ for a cone, or going bowling/biking together. But it did work. He had more than ADD going for him (mom walked out of their lives when he was 2) and this was one of the treatments that made school better.

The bus issue. Thank the district for seatbelts on that bus.
RULES: Always wear your seatbelt in your own car. EVERYONE. She is not too young to be told of car accidents, or even see a car with some bang up spots. Liken it to helmet, elbow and knee pads when biking or skating. A threat of skinned knee WITHOUT THE BANDAID at my house always sends the kids for their equipment. Of course, I would treat them with first aid, but they don't know that.

There is no alternative but to wear the seatbelt. Maybe understanding no bus if you don't wear it, but then no school, no nothing. We can't go anywhere if we don't wear our seatbelts. Like shoe laces being untied, the shoes will fall off and we get hurt if we don't tie them.

Hope this helps--Tell them this grandma would like her to wear it. My 8 year old granddaughter will be in the booster till she is 10.

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By Lee Anne (Guest Post)
September 25, 20080 found this helpful

What is the teacher doing about the talking? Does she have your daughter sitting near her so she can help her stay on task? Be very careful about this as Kindergarten can set a child for a life of good or bad years. My daughter had the same issue. I did some research and found out the teacher had been fired from another district for slamming a kid into a wall. She was a crappy teacher. I moved my daughter to another classroom. She did great and is now finishing her last year of med school. Had she stayed in that classroom she would have hated school.

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By Earlene Y (Guest Post)
September 26, 20080 found this helpful

Your child may not be able to help doing some of the things she is doing. Please have her evaluated by a child psychotherapist. Attention Deficit Syndrome (ADD)and food allergies cause behavior problems for children. Then keep in mind if she has not had good discipline rules at home then she will probably be in trouble until she gets the idea to behave. Re-read what Judy wrote. She and I are in agreement to get your child to a doctor for testing.

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September 27, 20080 found this helpful

I am a sub teacher. I see parents all the time cuddling the kids telling them to oh be quiet and the parent is scared half to death. You be firm with her and tell her she must not talk in school. If she isn't quiet maybe the teacher and you can work out a punishment. BUT IF SHE IS quiet like she is supposed to be, please don't reward her. These kids get rewards for everything. Did we? No we are supposed to behave.

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Silver Post Medal for All Time! 364 Posts
October 1, 20080 found this helpful

Possibly it is a combination of items that are causing this behavior. For my kid, it was caused by artificially colored and flavored chewable vitamins combined with artificially colored and flavored Fruit Loops with Kool Aid later on in the afternoon.
The cure was a "no artificial ingredients daily rule".

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By april (Guest Post)
October 2, 20080 found this helpful

Thank you for all your help. Ginamarie been doing good so far.
I guess it was all new to her. Going back to school and Ginamarie is very talkative even at home. The only time she is quiet is when she is sleeping where as her twin brother is quiet and shy in school but of course not at home.

And Yes they are immature I think and see. Their Birthday is in July, Where as all the other kids are turning 6 in their class and they still have 10 months to turn 6.

I don't have them in any activities cause we can't afford anything, its all to expensive. We have 3 kids and one pay check and now my husband is out of work and going for back surgery next week.

Here in Jersey, kindergarten is only half day but next yr. they will be going all day and hopefully I'll have no problems with her.
But thanks to all for your input.
Have a great day.

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By (Guest Post)
October 27, 20080 found this helpful

I'd say naughty corner or get the all the children at school to not talk to your talkative daughter for only one day and she'll probably be ok *meh I dunno I'm only 13*

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July 22, 20090 found this helpful

I was a working mom when my kids were younger. I had a similar issue with one of my daughters. I informed my boss of the situation, and he was very accommodating. When there was a situation at school where my daughter was acting as you describe, the teachers aide immediately called me. I left work, went to the school, and slipped quietly in to class. When my daughter acted out, I slipped in behind her, gently tapped her on the shoulder, and quietly cleared my throat. She would quit. At home that night I would silently calculate the time I had missed from work and send her to bed early, accounting for the minutes. If her bed time is 8:30 and I had to spend 60 minutes away from work, she went to bed at 7:30. When she protested, I simply reminded her that I took an hour out of my schedule, now I am taking an hour out of hers. I would also mark the time, each time, on the calendar. The total amount was taken out of her activity time. If we went swimming, she stayed seated at the the side of the pool for the duration of her time. If the rest of the family was ready to go, and she didn't get to swim, that was her issue to deal with. That was nipped in the bud, quickly.

For the bus situation, the company may have rules in place such as warnings and suspensions from riding the bus for certain lengths of time. Obtain a copy of that form and go over it with your child. Let the child know that each time this happens there will be stiffer penalties at home, weekend restriction, no privileges normally allowed, earlier bed time, etc.

This can also be handled another way. The driver can mail a memo home to inform ALL parents (so no child is singled out in the beginning) that because of disciplinary action needing to be taken, the bus will have to be stopped EVERY time ANY child refuses to stay seated and buckled in. The driver will have to stop the bus and remain stationary until the child complies. This will undoubtedly cause delays in getting to school, and getting home again. This note will have to be signed by both parent and rider, as most children riding a bus can at least write their name, even with assistance. Now everyone knows the rules.

To enforce the rule, the driver radio's dispatch that the bus has stopped and why, but not the offending childs name. They can also note the time and location. This way, any parent or school official calling for information can be well informed. ONLY the parent of the disobedient child is to know WHICH child is causing the delay. That is done after the last child has been dropped off and the bus is empty. The driver can then radio dispatch that the bus is returning and that a call needs to be put through to that child's parent. What an individual child shares with their parent is not the bus company's liability, what the driver says in front of the children, is.

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