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Getting Over A Break Up?

What do you do to get over a heartbreak? A trip would be nice to get away and forget, but it's not in the budget right now.

Suee2 from Idaho

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April 30, 20080 found this helpful

Hi Sue! First let me say how sorry I am that you're going through this breakup. I know it's painful...been there. Lean on your friends and family. Spend time with them. I don't know how you feel about Dr Phil, I personally really like him. Here is some advice from him that perhaps will help you: drphil.com/.../
drphil.com/.../
There are places on the bottom of these pages to click on for more help. God bless you :):)

 
May 1, 20080 found this helpful

Throw yourself into a good book and surround yourself with good friends and realize that you need to take care of you! You will get over it and move on again although it doesn't seem like it at the time! I know from experience, believe me.

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I had dated a guy that was my hubby's friend (I had no hubby then). We were all friends in our younger days and I liked this guy and he pursued me i knew he was a snake and said I am not gonna get involved with you I like you, but I will get hurt and I am NOT going to go there. We dated he said "I love you" etc, etc He had a girlfriend and a baby THAT WERE NEVER AT ANY TIME MENTIONED! I was crushed and you know what in swept my future hubby who was his best friend at the time! I DID not LIKE him. Not in that way.

He was my good friend and he waited patiently until I nursed my heart ache and decided to give love a chance again! He even waited when I tried to break up, because I had a fear of commitments. You know what? We have been together now 17 years not all perfect, grant ya, marriage is never perfect it is like a job! You have to work it to keep it going strong!!! so there is hope, I know believe me! To this day he and that friend of his, I dated are still good friends but I cant seem to swallow it and get along with him! I let it go but the heart remembers. You just move on and push on! You'll get there! All the best!

 
May 2, 20080 found this helpful

Hello, Sue. I am so sorry that you are going through this. But, as I'm always telling myself "This too shall pass". The last heartbreak I had, a good pal asked me 'Was he a support, or an anchor?" In other words, did he hold you back or hold you up.

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That and I made a least of all the pros and cons of him, and how I felt about myself during our relationship. Not a cure all, or a magic pill, but it certainly got me through some dark moments. I really hopes this helps! God loves you, and so does everybody else!

 
By Ashley (Guest Post)
May 2, 20080 found this helpful

Instead of spending the money on a vacation, go and spend some money on some new clothes or a haircut or something that will make you feel pretty - more than you would ususally spend on these things - it should feel like a splurge. I have a good friend that is like a 2nd mother to me and when I was going through this she told me to "get dolled up". It does feel good. Good luck.

 
May 2, 20080 found this helpful

I've always used work to get over sad times. Volunteer work for the less fortunate is especially engrossing and uplifting.

 
May 3, 20080 found this helpful

This really worked for me, IMMEDIATELY, even though it sounds silly. Go to the library or look on amazon.com for a used copy of something like Men Who Love to Hate Women Who Love to Love Them (not a real title, but you get the picture). When you read all the examples of women who *stayed* in similar relationships, and how it drove them crazy, you will realize that you've actually had a very lucky escape.

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When you start to go backwards, just pick up the book again. Carry it with you if you need to. Good luck!

 
By Julia in UK (Guest Post)
May 3, 20080 found this helpful

Visualize him wearing a ballet tutu. It works very well.

 
May 3, 20080 found this helpful

I can totally relate. Here's some things that worked for me: I got rid of anything that reminded me of him, like cards, gifts, photos, etc. I even burnt some clothes! It felt like a release! If you don't want to do this, pack it and put it somewhere you won't see it. Also, every time I thought of anything about the relationship in any way, I would visualize a STOP sign and even shout the word outloud.

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It's a common tool used to change your thinking pattern and allows you to focus on something - anything else. I'd then do anything - even goofy stuff like start singing a stupid song. Whatever it took to take my mind off of that and onto something WORTH my time!

 
May 3, 20080 found this helpful

Hello! What worked for me was to get rid of EVERYTHING that reminded me of my ex-boyfriend. We were together 3yrs so it was a lot of stuff. I kept just a few small items that I thought I might want later if I was feeling nostalgic in any way. I gave the rest of this stuff to him or his family or gave it to Goodwill. Then I just went on with my life and concentrated on work and things like that but if I was in a "mood" I would put on a sad cd and cry my eyes out if I felt like it.

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I talked about it with my best friend if I felt like it also. It got easier every day (especially because I broke up with him). Six months later in June I met the love of my life and we got married 5 months after that and have been happily married 13 years and have three kids. I just had to go through **** to get to the Prince Charming into my life. Good Luck!

 
By denise w (Guest Post)
May 5, 20080 found this helpful

I'd start with a good book, nail polish and some candles, and bubble bath. Take a nice long bath, read your book, paint your nails and realize that it's his loss not yours! Whenever one door closes another opens, and know that your not alone. We are here for you. d

 
By Suee2 from Idaho (Guest Post)
May 8, 20080 found this helpful

Just wanted to thank all of you for your great responses and very helpful tips. Feeling much better now!

 

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Better Living Self HelpApril 30, 2008
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