My boyfriend is waiting to see if he will be able to get SSD/SSI. He has two children that live with their mother. He cannot pay support because he is disabled. When he does get SSD/SSI is there a way that the money for support can go into a trust that she cannot touch?
The only reason I say that is because when the kids have been with us they told us that she took all the change except pennies from their piggy banks, and that they wake up in the middle of the night and she's not at home, but at the bar. It's not that he shouldn't support them, he should, but why pay her the money when it's not going to be used for the kids. If anyone can provide any help or advice please let me know. Thank you!
By Renae from York, PA
How old are these kids and how do they know their mother is at the bar? Child support is to help support the kids while they are minors, that includes paying rent/mortgage, buying food, clothes, paying utilities, etc. If your boyfriend is concerned about their future and wants to set up a trust fund, that should be extra.
The mother of these kids could just be outside talking to a neighbor or something, instead of at the bar, she could also be taking garbage out. I have lived in three different apartment complexes, since 1983 and it wasn't at all unusual to see parents sitting outside in the night visiting, sometimes discussing problems with the kids, sometimes just discussing a variety of things. The same thing was occurring in the neighborhood I lived in when I owned a home. There have been times when I would wake up in the night and couldn't get back to sleep so I would go and sit outside for awhile.
You know when one parent plants a seed in the kid's head about the other parent, things can get twisted. But child support is to help pay for living expenses for the kids, not for a trust fund. Who is supposed to be helping to raise your boyfriend's kids, if not him? When I was receiving child support, the money got put in the household "kitty" and helps pay bills, etc. There was never enough left for extra things, not even to put in a piggy bank. (07/18/2010)
I applied and was awarded SSD. When I applied I asked about child support. I provided my wife's name, social, my kids' names and ages and other such things. My wife receives a check for my kids directly from Social Security. Not ALL the amount I owe but a hefty sum.
Now, in regard to how she uses the money; you have no say UNLESS the kids obviously have needs. They haven't gotten required shots, they are sickly, they are hungry, they complain about being cold. These are issues you direct to the proper channels to get custody of your kids because of neglect. One of the things you can do to find out more about how the kids are being treated by your Ex is to talk to their teachers and/or principle to get a third person's response to your kid's care. This will help in your strive to get custody. (07/18/2010)
The kids are 6 and 3. We asked them how they knew she was at the bar and it was because their grandmother told them that's where she was. When he asked their mother about it she admitted it. Their mother lives at home with her mom and brother, and they all do drugs in the house, and that came from her own mouth. They think it's alright to do that as long as the kids don't see it, but I'm sorry, you can smell weed and crack when it's burning. She admits all of this herself, so I mean, how is that a safe environment for little kids, or any child? (07/20/2010)
I am appalled that you and your boyfriend know there is drug abuse in that home, have not contacted the authorities, and that he is not petitioning the courts for custody! Being disabled is no excuse to not protect his children!
And I can't help but ask how you know what crack smells like? I don't have a clue what it might smell like so how would anyone know the smell of crack unless they've been around it firsthand?
That being said, if he is awarded SS Disability then both of his children will also receive a small monthly stipend (once applied for) for up to 23 years of age as long as they continue going to school (or at least that's how it used to work for the up to age 23 rule). (07/20/2010)
Setting up a trust just sounds like a ploy to me to get out of paying child support. Trusts don't feed and house kids. Furthermore, if all you say is going on, why does the mother still have the kids? Something doesn't sound right. And boyfriends don't always tell it like it is. You're hearing all this through the grapevine. Why hasn't your boyfriend reported this to child protective services? I think you, as his girlfriend (if you think something is going to come from this relationship), should do some detective work yourself. Personally, I'd run the other way. (07/21/2010)
I am a single mother of 3. I stopped working when I got pregnant with my youngest. I get a few thousand dollars a month in child support. The support checks are written out to me. My kids have everything they need. They have nice clothes, comfy beds, full bellies and a nice home. Because I don't pay a babysitter, of course I use this money for myself and daddy hates this. I suggest in the state of Pennsylvania not to screw around or get deep in arrears. Domestic Relations in Pa is no joke and aren't shy about handing out warrants to dads who don't want to pay! Deal with it, not all people who go to bars are criminals. (07/23/2010)
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