9 years ago, I was put on SSID. I had an agent call me, and tell me that I needed to set up my child support payments through them, and I did.
Now, my son who is just turning 10, wants to come and see me. He lives with his father in Nebraska, and I am now in PA. He told me today that I have not paid child support in all these years. The money that his father gets for him, is because I am on SSID, and it is required by state law, which is not support.
I have never received a letter from anyone saying that I have to pay back child support, or anything of that nature. Right now I am so worried that I am going to have to pay 9 years in back support, and I am still disabled. I don't know what to do.
By Marlee from Johnstown, PA
To begin with, a 10 year old shouldn't be playing this card. You can bet his father has had something to do with it. I would think what the father gets from SSID would be considered the same as child support. I would call the SSID office and talk to them about it, see what they say. I might be wrong, but I think your son's father is full of it and is just trying to get more money from you, thinking you will just give in without checking things out. (05/18/2010)
How despicable of your son's father to involve a ten year old child! Being that the Social Security agent told you to set up SSID payments for your son and you did, well, your son's father is just trying to be greedy and scare you. Those payments to the father are indeed a form of child support and I believe they are retroactive from the date you were accepted for SSDI.
Does your son's father even have a court judgment against you for child support? If not, don't worry about this issue. If he does, then call a couple of lawyers who specialize in child support issues and set up appointments for a "free" consultation to see what you are and are not expected to do in your situation (make sure when you make the appointment that the consultations are free).
Finally, do not ever mention these types of issues to your son. If your son brings them up then change the subject immediately. Send a nicely and not accusing note by certified mail to his father and ask him nicely to stop involving your son in adult affairs. Keep a copy of the letter and the certified receipt in case you need it in the future. Do not be "accusing" to his father, but rather a simple request to not involve your son with issues that should only be dealt with between you and him as the parents.
I don't know what to suggest about paying for your son to come visit you other than it should at least be 50/50 for your son's travel expenses? Or maybe there's a way for meeting half way by car, bus, or train? That's a tough one because I don't know all of the circumstances.
Good luck to you and I hope I've been helpful! (05/18/2010)
You should go to the Social Security Administration and present your case. Ask them if they can verify the money being sent to your ex. Acquire proof, you don't need to tell him anything other than "No, I don't owe you any money". And like others have said, don't involve your son. It is not an issue he needs to be involved in. If your ex wants to push you and take you to court you will have the documentation from SSA to prove him wrong. Then he has to explain to your son why he lied to him, not you. You keep out of their relationship. (05/18/2010)
I called today, and found out that my son's father has been getting $499 a month as a "bonus" from SSID. What they told me is that my money has never been garnished. What my son gets is a package that includes health care. I did find out that SSDI is nothing like SSI, whereas SSI will not allow any payments of any kind. I did however find out that SSDI is an accumulation of what I have made over the years, so it is considered support.
Wanted to also let everyone know that my son is visiting in Aug, for two weeks! The only drawback, is that his father will only allow me to come and get him and accompany him on the plane, and no one else. I have to buy 2 round trip tickets for myself now, and one for my son. What I thought would initally cost me about $400, is now going to cost me about $1000. His father stated, "you don't pay support, so this is the least that you can do".
I hope after all these letters back to you that you have contacted social security about your SSID and the particulars of this situation because he is trying to keep you from seeing your son and that he cannot do unless you allow him. Let your fingers do the walking with the telephone and just keep calling different places till you get the right answer. Remember this is a controlling situation, but once you know all the facts you will be informed and no longer feel helpless. It is imperative you do this immediately because the longer you wait the more frustrated you will become. Once I found out all he couldn't do and could I realized I had more power than he did, so will you.
All states have different laws and I was dealing with Florida, but I am fairly sure he cannot demand that you buy a plane ticket for you and your son just because he says so. Like the other person told you he pays one way and you pay the other way for the trip and just arrange for someone you trust to meet your son. Call Social Security today. (05/20/2010)
Technically SS child support payments are an automatic benefit and therefore, do not satisfy your obligations under child support laws unless a court of law says so. I'd get a copy of all the payments made by SS. They can provide you with this and contact an attorney and ask them to file a motion for you to have this payment satisfy your obligation before down the line someone comes back at you and starts garnishing your SS for child support payments. I've seen it happen many times to people who don't know this. Ignorance is not a defense under the law and if you come forward before they come after you you'll show favor with the judge that you want to provide for your child. Good luck.
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