I really just wanted an opinion of other users on here: What do you do to keep from feeling lonely on Valentine's day (or as I like to call it, Single Awareness Day)? It's one of those days where I don't want to go out or anything so I don't have to see everyone else getting things from their sweethearts. I'm still single and I try to keep my chin up but it's hard, especially on days like this. Any opinions you'd like to share? Thanks much!
I totally understand how you feel, I can understand your feeling lonely but at least you are not married and feeling lonely. My husband doesn't believe in celebrating anything, says it is a waste of money. Now, I am not talking about expensive jewelry or anything, but how hard would it be to buy a single rose from the floral department at the grocery store?
This Valentine's Day, I am going to celebrate the love of myself! I am going to buy myself a rose, a bottle of my favorite wine, and watch one of my favorite movies. You need to do something special for yourself too, whether it is getting your nails done, taking a bubble bath, calling a few friends to go to the movies, whatever makes you feel special!
Don't feel bad about being single, you just haven't yet met the one you are meant to be with. Whatever you do, don't settle like I did because I was afraid to be alone. Ended up married and still being alone! Stacey, be proud of who you are, and love yourself, you are unique and there is no one else like you!
Hi Stacey, Last Christmas a woman who was a member of the local Freecycle group opened up her home to everyone who would be alone on that day. She had the best Christmas ever. You can look up Freecycle on Yahoo; most cities have one, and maybe think about spreading a little fun and company around your house/apartment.
Do you have any other single friends who you can share the misery with? I'm sure they feel the same way, and you could all mope together :) while watching both Bridget Jones movies.
Stacey, I agree it is better to be single than married and unhappy. I did not marry until I was 34. My advice to you would to enjoy the holiday as a friendship day. Have a fun lunch with a friend or friends. I used to have fun with friends or family and never gave it a second thought. Do not put pressure on yourself. If it bothers you going out that day then just use it to pamper yourself. Society should not dictate your feelings. I used to date frequently and was happy, I did not like having boyfriends as I did not want to be married. I had female friends, we used to go camping, etc. and I have great fun memories without waiting for a man.
I love my hubby 11 years on Valentines's Day but trust me, some days I miss the days when it was just ME! My husband is my best friend so it feels like days instead of years. So enjoy your day and treat yourself to fun!
Hi Stacy, Make yourself some heart shaped sugar cookies and decorate them using the royal icing. Keep them in a see through container. Buy a stack of valentine plates from the dollar store and keep in plain sight next to the cookies. Cut out different size hearts and decorate your computer or refrigerator or a window. And Stacy ... Happy Valentine's Day!
Since you know you are not the only one feeling the way you do; it is up to you to do something about it, not only for yourself, but for others, too. If you want a jolt of reality, volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter, or day program for the mentally ill that day. Take a batch of homemade cookies (or even purchased cookies) and share the love. You never know, you might meet another volunteer looking beyond his own misery.
If that is not possible, choose a few single friends and become their "secret sweetie". No, I don't mean trying to fool them into thinking they have a secret admirer, but more like a "secret santa" at Christmastime. Leave them little treats/cards/token gifts...and leave them guessing. You're liable to get so caught up in the excitement of it that you forget your own loneliness.
End the day by having dinner with some single friends. You're only lonely if you set yourself up to be.
Stacey, The best advice I ever got for situations like this came from a friend, who told me that the best way to forget about ourselves is to do something for someone else. My advice would be to find a place to volunteer your time, even for one day, for somebody who is feeling as lonely as you are every day of their lives or someone in a nursing home who never gets visitors, etc. This would really put some love into someone's Valentine's Day, and it would make you feel good about yourself, as well.
Hope you have a happy Valentine's Day and make someone else happy, too!
Wow, I was impressed at some of the other ideas. I think you should be your own Valentine. Pamper yourself. Buy yourself something you are wanting or like. Treat yourself like a princess. You are and you deserve it. Take a bubble bath.. Read a good book.. whatever...
Also, when it is your birthday (or Christmas) always buy yourself a present. That way you always get what you want... (wink)
Have a Valentine's Day party for your single friends. Realize that it's just an invention to sell expensive gifts and greeting cards and then think of it as just a regular day.
Not every religion celebrates this day, and the members manage to get through it just fine. Who knows, by next year this time, this will be nothing but a distant memory? Reflect on what you want in a special friend and then see if you are making yourself available to meet new people. I used to tell others to walk to school via a different path, go 'round the building in different directions. Hang around the cafeteria after school, work, . . .
I was single until I was 38. I lived in St. George, UT and worked in an office where everyone got Valentine's flowers or candy or something delivered to their workplace on that day. After feeling awful for several years in a row about my situation, I finally started arranging ahead of time to take the day off and do MY favorite thing which was to take a long horseback ride. It helped me feel good and I didn't have to see all the other deliveries and feel bad on Valentine's Day.
I quit seeing the 'bad boyfriend' and have now been married nearly ten years! I still like to ride on Valentine's day, it still makes me happy and I appreciate my husband for NOT making me feel bad, as well as remembering me in some good way each year!
When I was single, I read somewhere that life does not start when you get married. For example, I had friends who would not buy themselves "good china" or "good" linens, because they did not "need" them "until they were married". Well I interpreted that to mean that they felt they were not worthy of good china or good linens unless they were married. So after that revelation, I made it a point not to deny my desires simply because I was single. I felt I was still worth good china and good linens even though I was single. I figured, well, if I was going to be single for a while, I might as well enjoy my life. I booked a cruise with a girlfriend and had a great time exploring other countries that I might never have traveled to had I been married.
My point is to enjoy the single time you have regardless of your relationship status. it is your right and personal responsibility to yourself to do so. You are the only person in charge of your happiness. Couple-hood will find it's way to you at the appropriate time (not necessarily your time) and you might as well live life well today while you're waiting. I've also found that if you're in the market to attract a mate, nothing is more attractive to a potential mate than someone who is self-confident, self-fulfilled, and happy with their own current life. It was only when I adopted this above stated philosophy that I became less precoccupied (too busy/happy having fun with friends) that I found myself practically having to beat potential suitors off with a stick, metaphorically.
By Debbie in SC
You could join OKCupid.com. Its a free singles site but its more fun than the others. They have a lot of tests to take and all kinds of questions you can answer. Hey at the least, it takes up some of that boring alone time. Some of the tests are really fun too!
Stacy, I've divorced now for 19 years. My former husband seldom ever got me gifts. I was told "I don't know what to get you, so go buy yourself something." That's what I did then and what I continue to do. I treat myself to something different every birthday. Had my first massage on one birthday, first pedicure on another, etc. I love chocolate and I've buying myself a box of valentine candy. I've happier than I've ever been in my life.
This is a little off topic but one year when I was in a relationship we had gone to dinner at a relatively inexpensive restuarant. There was an elderly gentleman dining alone and reading the paper. When my partner left the table to use the restroom I signalled the waitress to bring me the man's check which I then paid. I asked her not to say anything to him until he was ready to leave. It just left me with a really warm glow all nite, and still does.
If I think about it at all, it is to count my blessings. To me being single is like a being a kid on a Saturday morning with no school. It means freedom, and mastery over my own time and energy, and environment. I have not met the man I would exchange all those wonderful freedoms for, so I can't help but be happy with the status quo.
Not to minimize how it feels to be single when you'd prefer not to be, please try not to assign too much importance to Valentine's Day!
Just keep in mind that Valentine's Day is basically a "Hallmark Holiday," meaning that its original meaning has been blown way out of proportion by companies whose job it is to sell something and convince people that they need to buy it. It's all about making money. Nobody who loves anybody needs a special date assigned to remind one another that they are loved!
Lots of these happy couples you're seeing are just going through the Valentine's Day motions because they think they're supposed to. What really matters isn't what you see on February 14, it's what's going on the other 364 days a year. And while it isn't easy being alone, it's better than being with the wrong person! Hoping you meet the right one very soon!
St. Valentine was a (single) priest who was willing to die for the Lord he loved. He would be surprised at the use his day has been put to.
My work is with learning disabled adults and Valentine's Day can make them very unhappy. It reminds many of them that they are never likely to have a romantic relationship. If the occasion is mentioned, I make jokes about sending myself cards.
I have been married for 35 years and DH and myself might exchange bargain-priced cards, but nothing more.
Advertising and selling can cause so much misery. Also let us not forget that a huge proportion of the population is single.
I could care less about being single on Valentine's Day. I've never known any of my married or in-a-relationship friends that give a hoot about the day either. A five dollar card, candy, and flowers doesn't make Valentine's Day anymore special than Feb. 15th. Reflect on how you were treated the other 364 days of the year. And, no this is not "sour grapes" ... I've had my fair share of heart-shaped pendants!
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