It is OK for the 3rd sister to see if the mother wants her to be there. Is this a question the parent can ask along the way and a presentation should be provided to anyone in the meetings? She would like the 3rd daughter to also be aware of what is left since she does the most for her now and has no idea of what her own mother has to spend.
By Ginny from Oak Park, CA
Depending on the state and the papers she signed and filed, etc. Are the conservators for her accounts, money, etc? This documentation has to be served to the court administrator's office for review yearly on what was spent, was is left, etc. A POA does not have to report like that. Yes the 3rd daughter can speak for the mom or the mom can write it out and have it notarized that the 3rd daughter should be part of the POAS. Not good to leave 1 of 3 out. Also, who is executor? That should not be one of the POAs either. What a pot of poison can brew if you don't have checks and balances in order. My father asked a trusted neighbor farmer to be his executor and then my mom and another farmer to be POAS. So there is the check and balance all the time.
I can only speak of the ethics and morals of the case, not the legalities... but I'd strongly suggest Mom should be not only permitted, but encouraged to take a part in her own financial management. Also, even though there are powers of attorney in effect, your mom isn't forbidden from participating in her own financial affairs. It's still her money, after all. I've been unable to obtain a copy of the power of attorney I signed while recovering from a car accident. However, the moment I became able to handle my own affairs again, I immediately did so.
If daughter #3 is providing most of Mom's day-to-day care, there's no reason not to provide her with a power of attorney. If this offends daughters 1 and 2, too bad for them.
I too say to see a lawyer! And as far as I am concerned the third sister should be involved in all input and information about mom even if she doesn't have a power of attorney and is not the ultimate decision maker because it's her mother too!
Remember this, power of attorney ends at the moment of the persons death. I would see a lowyer. You can get advice without having to retain the lawyer. It would be a one time fee.
First I would want to read the power of attorney paper to find if the paper states there is a time frame for the daughters to be in controll of mom's finanaces and if the daughters are responsable to repay any monies they used for their own use. I think it would be better to consult an attorney with this problem.
In my case my lady has power of attorney only as long as I am not able to take care of my finances and can only spend money to pay my bills. That is how my power of attorney paper is written.
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