Power Of Attorney for an Elderly Parent

We have recent experience with this. Pop came to live with us almost 6 years ago, right after selling his home. As it became more difficult to care for Pop here at home because of his multiple dementias, we starting looking into nursing home placement. We discovered that here in FL, if he had sold property in the past 5 years, all of the monies from that sale could be taken to pay for nursing home care. The intake staff member I spoke to at one of the nursing homes we investigated informed me of this practice, and told me that if Pop had already distributed the money to loved ones, those loved ones would be required to refund those monies for his care. We were in shock to say the least.

Because Pop had indeed disbursed his funds early to ensure that money went where he intended it at a time that he felt would do more good than after his death, we kept on caring for him in our home until he was well past the 5 year mark, to be certain that grandkids wouldn't have to return money that had been gifted to them for college tuition.

We are now in the process of getting Medicaid to fund his nursing home costs. A problem that we have run into is that Pop has two cash value life insurance policies and Medicaid policy is that these must be borrowed against down to a certain very low level and used for Pop's benefit prior to Medicaid benefits kicking in. Medicaid is entitled to up to $2500 dollars of the cash value of each policy if we can't manage to spend that money.

Thankfully, my husband has power of attorney for his dad, which enables him to request the cash value and use it to pre-pay funeral expenses and pay towards the accumulating debt for Pop's upkeep. Hospice is funding the nursing home care, and any monies that we can't use up on Pop's behalf can be donated to Hospice as an acceptable expense. We are also using the funds to covers medications for non-Hospice related conditions, such as his thyroid and blood pressure meds.

Something very important to know is that powers of attorney for parents MUST be completed PRIOR to any diagnosis of dementia. Once a person is diagnosed or receiving treatment for any form of dementia, that individual is no longer considered legally capable of assigning power of attorney to any other individual. In order for a family member to gain power of attorney once a parent has been diagnosed with dementia, it takes several thousand dollars in legal fees and several months, sometimes as long as a year, before that power of attorney is finally granted by a judge. We learned about this in a class about Alzheimer's conducted by one of our local hospitals.

In my state you don't have to notarize a power of attorney.

You are to be commended for being transparent and proactive with your wishes!

Consider seeing if there is a legal aid service to tell you your state's rules. If you not have a legal aid service, look up a local law school and ask to speak with the dean. He/she can give you your state's rules.

From personal experience, I strongly recommend having a lawyer review your will, power of attorney etc. with you and your daughter together. Also, if you can afford it, have a tax preparer/financial planner review the money end so your daughter gets the maximums and is not stuck with excessive or unexpected inheritance taxes.

This is important even if you think you don't have much. Some state's rules can really pinch grieving families with unexpected taxes and fees. It is terrible when this happens... especially if it could have been avoided.

Good luck!

I am in North Carolina and recently a relative in Texas asked us to be his POA and we had to get it notarized. As well, we had to go to a couple of different notaries befure they felt comfortable signing the document we provided which was one we altered off a form on the internet.

so saying I'm not sure how it can harm to have it notarized in case someone ever contests it

It does not seem as if you need it notarized. Here is some information for your state:

powerofattorneyforms.com/.../