I am taking care of 70 year old woman whose husband died 3 months ago. She has a PHD in psychology. She abruptly stopped drinking due to a broken hip and shoulder. She has a touch of dementia and suicidal thoughts. (yes, I've got my hands full). I live with her 96 hours, 4 days on and 3 off. There is no one else to help.
I'm trying to get ideas for things to do. Even something as simple as going outside by the pool. She has interest in nothing. She at one time was extremely artistic. Now it is nothing, but sitting in front of her laptop. I don't want to insult her with "paint by numbers" and that sort of stuff. She was 11 when she left her country, Hungry. Help us, please.
By Katt from St. Pete Beach, FL
Have you tried to go walking with her?Or bird watching?good luck.
She needs to know Jesus so that she will have peace, hope, and joy. If she knows him as her Savior she needs to renew her mind with his word. Read to her from the Bible. There are many good Christian authors to enjoy as well.
This lady should see her doctor. She may well benefit from an anti-depressant medication to help her through this time of loss. Also, check with local hospitals and senior organizations for support groups that may help her in her time of grief and transition. She is fortunate that you care for her and want to help.
I visit a 90 year old lady. She isn't depressed, but all she does is sit and watch the cooking channel all day. I visit with her once a week. I get her talking about her past. Once she gets going, she loves it, and so do I. Karenhope
I have been around all ages of special needs people and find that music lights up their life and brings them to listening. Perhaps you can find out her favorite type or just play music and see when she responds. Blessings for being such a caring pe rson.
It is hard work for carers when elderly people don't want to make an effort any more. Perhaps she is content to do less than she used to. Might she respond to a cat or dog or another pet?
Everyone grieves differently and this may be her grieving period. There is no wrong or right way to grieve the loss of a loved one and 3 months isn't that long of a period of time, especially if her and her husband were together for a long time. You might want to check and see if there are any Hungarian social groups/churches in the area.
How about doing jigsaw puzzles, board games or card games? My elderly parents frequently put together 100-piece jigsaw puzzles. It keeps them occupied and they enjoy it too. Good luck!
From what you write, she sounds depressed which would be a very normal reaction to the loss of her spouse being very recent. I suggest trying to get to that artistic side by borrowing books of artwork from a local library. For example, borrowing masterworks of great painters that the 2 of you can look at together. If there is any interest at all, she might be willing at some point to go to a local art museum. I hope she will give you a clue soon of something that will help lift her spirits. Best wishes to you.
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