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Mother's Day Jokes

Category Mothers Day
This page contains some of the classic sayings attributed to moms as part of their life training course for their kids. This is a page about Mother's Day jokes.


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In lieu of the holiday, I thought I'd share a Mother's Day joke. Did YOUR mother say any of these? (I know mine did!) Happy Mother's Day everyone!

Things I learned from my Mother

1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me about RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me about LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me about FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.."

6. My mother taught me about IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

8. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it."

9. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"


10. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

11. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

By Stacey from Orem, UT

Comment Was this helpful? 4


May 6, 20110 found this helpful
Top Comment

Hi Stacy,

I don't know where your mom was born and reared, but she must have been poured out of the same mold as my mother. Mine taught me every one of these same lessons using the same exact "Lesson Titles" and wording.

What a nice posting for me to wake up to read this morning. It brought back so many memories, most are happy, but some are remembered with a bit of pain since I learned all about the consequences to every lesson. I've had my sitting-down-place "warmed over" many, many times.

I am laughing too though, and still wondering about "where the middle of next week is".

I so often feel my mother close to me, especially when I'm cooking or baking,


but just as much when I'm recalling some of the lesser moments.

Thank you for remembering and for sharing all these with us. Some memories
are priceless, and this is a treasure chest full of them. So often, it's the little
things we miss the most. This is a definite "thumbs up".

Happy Mother's Day to you and all the ladies at Thrifty Fun.


Reply Was this helpful? Yes
By wendee (Guest Post)
May 14, 20060 found this helpful

Thanks for the laugh! yep, my Mom said those too.

Reply Was this helpful? Yes
May 15, 20060 found this helpful

mymom things said those things #1 her fav along with her answer to "where is my shoes?" "I did not take them off" that used to make me so mad that
I made it point to always find my own stuff!!!
smart lady...

Reply Was this helpful? Yes
May 15, 20060 found this helpful

I forwarded this to all the moms in my life, and DH so he'd know some for the future (only child!) I have two boys, so I know number one is my personal favorite!

Reply Was this helpful? Yes
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