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Son Giving Up Scholarship For Girlfriend?

My son is a senior in high school and plays basketball. During his Junior year, he had an awful experience with his basketball coach and he begged us to transfer to another school. We complied and he made the basketball team and finished the season winning Regionals.

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Since his sophomore year, he has been approached to play college basketball and has received a few scholarships which we were excited for him. He now says he doesn't want to play basketball and wants to live in the city and attend college there. He has made a few comments that has me believing that his decision is based on the fact that he wants to be close to his girlfriend.

Most recently, he asked if he could live with his girlfriend in his junior year. When I asked him where this is coming from, his replied that her mother suggested it. This is not the first time that something like this has come up, and I struggle with him giving up what I believe is his dream for wanting to protect his girlfriend who gets everything she wants and who's parents are putting the burden on my son to watch over her.

I don't know what to do. I feel like I am grieving for something that I can't quite comprehend. I am not pushing him but I we are constantly having conversations about his college aspirations and I struggle to keep calm when he speaks to me. I was willing to help pay his college expenses and feel that I no longer should since he can graduate debt free and not with $100,000 debt. What do I do?

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March 18, 20220 found this helpful
Best Answer

Perhaps you and your son can have a neutral party like his guidance counselor discuss the situation so both can share concerns and both can feel heard and understood. Perhaps there is a door number 3 so to speak that will allow everyone to feel ok about things. As the adult you may need further counseling or guidance if he ends up making a decision you are unhappy with as the unhappiness is your challenge, not his.

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He may also benefit from counseling so he is confident of his decisions. Prayers for all that you can find a middle ground so everyone wins! Decisions like this without the right guidance can destroy families for generations. Go into to it with an open heart and neutral guidance to help!

 

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