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A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
Good morning, " said the young man. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners. "
"Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.
"If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."
The old lady stepped back and said, "Well I hope you've got a darn good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning."
A salesman knocked on the door of a house in a new housing development and a lady answered the door. He began, "Ma'am, I'm selling the newest innovation in vacuums, this is the greatest little machine I have seen in a long time," and with that, he proceeded to dump on her new carpet a mixture of ketchup, salsa, mud, grape juice, etc. as she watched, horrified. He said, "If this vacuum doesn't clean up that mess, I will eat it!" She said, "Would you like a fork?! We haven't got the power on yet!"