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My Child Won't Poop In The Toilet

August 27, 2010

A child sitting on the toilet.My 3 year old always poops in his pants. One morning he woke up about 3am, while I was asleep. He had no pants on and he put his pillow under his bare bum and started pooing on it. I smelled something and went to see him and found the pillow. In frustration I smacked his bum. He said, " poop poopy poop" and wiggled his bum and said, "Can you put me on the pottie?" I said, "No, you do it." and he he just stood there and started pooing in his pants. Please help.

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Kim

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August 31, 20100 found this helpful
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My two year old nephew will pee and poop on the potty as long as he doesn't have a diaper on. I let him run around the house naked. He tells me if he needs to pee and he goes to the potty. when he needs to poop , he asks for a diaper so we make it fun and race to the potty. I bought him his own big boy undies and said Don't poop on spongebob, he will not be happy. So he is learning to go potty.

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September 21, 20100 found this helpful
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I would love it if mine at least told me to put him on the potty instead of asking for a diaper. shame on you! I can understand the the swat on the bum after him pooing on the pillow, but if he asks to be put on the potty, please do it.

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December 20, 20100 found this helpful
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Hi I understand the frustration you must be going through, and I have not had my boys poo on anything but their underwear, but I too cannot get them to use the toilet for anything other than peeing in it they got that down pack. I cannot wait until they start using the potty for all of it. The only thing I did not agree with in your posting was about spanking your child and refusing to take him to the toilet. He won that war when you did those things.

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My suggestion is to continue to reinforce the potty chair by sitting him on the toilet, and like the other poster said, "Have him clean up his own mess with using protective gear from any potential germs". That is the one thing we as a parent must do even how frustrating it gets we got to remain patient with them and resilient in the fight of the potty training issues that arise, and be prepared to handle it in a way that make the child secure enough to use the toilet not afraid of it.

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January 6, 20110 found this helpful
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I cracked it after 12 months! I have been reading posts on here for a few months trying different things to get my son to do a poo in the potty and not in his pants! He is 3 and 3 months, I potty trained him 12 months ago, it took a week and was dry, only problem we could not it get him to do a poo, he would hide somewhere trying to hold it in and then we would have a day or two of small bits in his pants 4 or 5 times a day.

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I tried rewards, saying 'dont worry next time tell mummy', getting really cross and shouting then feeling guilty after, it really was taking over my life! I was sick of cleaning soiled pants. I even put nappies back on for 2 months but that didn't help him to relax. Then a friend told me about a book called pooland you print it off the internet and read it every night. So I thought ill give it a go. 4 nights I read the book still nothing, he was still trying to hold it in and small accidents in pants (although he loves the book and wanted to read it twice!) Then one afternoon he had held it in for 6 days, I lost it a bit and said "If you don't sit on the potty and push out a poo I'll have to call the doctor! (I got my phone and pretended to speak to the doctor) and he will have to do an operation on your bottom and get the poo out!". Well he couldn't get on the potty quick enough and within about 5 seconds he done a poo in the potty!

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We have carried on reading the pooland book and giving treats and rewards etc, and I remind him about calling the doctor every now and then and he has done poo no problem every day for 10 days, it's a miracle! Looking at the big picture I think he was confused about pooing and the book definitely helped explain it all in a childlike way, as well as that a little bit of fear, I think he just couldn't let go and the doctor coming sounded worse than doing it himself.
(I also give him a spoonful of lactrolose at breakfast just in case he was worried about it being painful but will stop that soon). x

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February 23, 20110 found this helpful
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The booklet that Hayley mentions, that really helps this problem is called Ollie Helps Poo Go Home to PooLand. It really does work... its a colouring in booklet written so that young ones really understand the concept of geting the Poo's down the Loo.

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You can get it at Bedtime And Toilet Training Solutions
So helped me tooo.

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6 More Questions

Ask a QuestionHere are the questions asked by community members. Read on to see the answers provided by the ThriftyFun community or ask a new question.

January 13, 2011

My 4 year old son will not poop on the toilet. We tried potty training him a few times, and he was not ready until now. He is doing pretty good with peeing, with only a few accidents here and there. The real problem is pooping on the toilet.

He has been steadily potty training for four days now. When he was wearing diapers he would go sometimes multiple times a day and the instant we started on the potty he just will not poop. He has been holding it in, doesn't even do it in his underwear.

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I sit him on the toilet for long periods of time so he will just let it go, but it doesn't work. Rewards don't work, encouragement doesn't work, he isn't scared of it, just tells me he doesn't have to go when clearly he does. Has anyone else had this problem? What can I do?

By Ashleigh from Colorado Springs, CO

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January 13, 20110 found this helpful
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Hello, Ashleigh, I'm sure you are frustrated but here's a funny story from a friend with exactly the same problem: Think of it as "separation anxiety" and it just might help. :-)

My friend's child was also doing fine with peeing in the potty, and claimed not to be scared or afraid of pooping in the potty, just didn't want to do so. After trying as many if not more things with her child as you have with yours, she finally discovered the problem by accident. No pun intended. While cleaning up yet another dirty "pantfull" she casually asked the toddler, "How can you stand this yucky mess in your pants?"

Breaking out the crocodile tears, the child sobbed, "But mommy, it's part of me! Why don't you love it?" Right away, she began a long, tender discussion about how normal it was for everybody to lose things like pee, hair left in the brush, baby teeth, clipped fingernails and toenails, and poop because their body was always making extra of those things to replace the old stuff. After a few honest accidents, full toilet training was accomplished within a few weeks.

Don't know if this will help or not, but thought it was worth sharing. Good luck! :-)

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January 14, 20110 found this helpful
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My son had the same issue when my oldest son was 3, except he did not go in the toilet or his pants...we took him to the Dr because he eventually had tummy aches from holding it so long and was painful when he actually tried. The Dr told us to put 1/2 cap full of Miralax in his juice, milk, or water. When we added it we called it sugar. I know it sounds mean, but it helped with the constipation from holding it and he could not hold it anymore because it is a mild laxitive. Eventually we did not have to use it anymore and he got over not using the toilet rather quickly.

Hope this idea helps.

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January 14, 20110 found this helpful
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I had the same problem with my son. I put him in Pull-Ups, but when he had to poop he let me know and I put a diaper on him. I then waited until summer time when he could wear less clothing and he was a little embarrassed for people to see he wore a diaper especially for the kids of his own age to see. He stated using the potty for pooping on his own.

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January 14, 20110 found this helpful
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My daughter was the exact same way. We would have to put a diaper on her to poop. She didn't want to get the potty or toilet dirty. I gave her Disney Dollars. I set up a chart with circles depicting quarters. I gave her a quarter for every pee-pee and 2 quarters for every poop in the potty. I did this because I knew she would begin school soon and need to be well trained. We colored a "quarter" in every time she earned it. She eventually saved up enough money to go to the Disney Store to buy anything she wanted. She bought a Little Mermaid dress that she wore until she absolutely couldn't wear it any longer. After we went shopping, we no longer needed a chart!

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January 16, 20110 found this helpful
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My grandson was the same way. His mother got a footstool to go in front of the toilet to put his feet on. This way his legs were a little higher than his body and made it easier. I've heard of this suggestion for adults as well.

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September 22, 2010

I need help. My 3 and a half year old won't poo on the pot. I've taken toys away, coached her by giving her a reward if she goes. I sat her beside me as I use the loo. Nothing is working I'm going crazy. Please, oh please, help.

By diane from NSW

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September 24, 20100 found this helpful
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I can relate to this. My son was 4 1/4 before he finally did it all in the potty, after my efforts for 2 plus years. I did stickers and rewards, too. I finally got tired of it all and decided to quit pressuring him for awhile and he decided the very next day after I took his filled up sticker chart down to do it all on his own. He wanted to be in control, I guess.
Take a break, Mom.

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September 24, 20100 found this helpful
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Read the book, "Toilet Training Your Child in Less Than a Day." Read the whole book from beginning to end and do everything that it tells you to do to prepare, before you begin any training. It works, except that it took my son 3 days. Good luck!

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December 12, 2018

My 5 year old will pee in the pot throughout the day, but will poop in their pants. They clean their self up and have no problems about feeling remorse.


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Gold Post Medal for All Time! 677 Posts
December 12, 20180 found this helpful

I would take your child for a complete physical to rule out anything doing with his anatomy or possible infection. If everything is fine, it may be psychological and he may need therapy. 5 years old is too old to have this kind of accident

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December 12, 20180 found this helpful

I strongly suggest having your child checked by the doctor. There are a number of medical conditions that could be going on here.

WebMD has a lot of articles on this topic. Here are a few:

www.webmd.com/.../kids-with-adhd-often-prone-to-bowel...

www.webmd.com/.../encopresis#1

Your child's doctor can tell you if this needs treatment medically or through a behavioral health counselor.

Prayers for a you and your child. Post back what you learn. Take care!

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ThriftyFun is one of the longest running frugal living communities on the Internet. These are archives of older discussions.

January 13, 2011

I have a foster son that is 5 years old that refuses to go to the potty, which consists of poop. We have tried everything, including bribing him with toys, money, etc.

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August 27, 2010

I have a 4 year old who just started preschool, and the problem is that she uses her underwear at night and all day. She doesn't wet the bed. She doesn't use the pull ups anymore.

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July 26, 2007

My son will go pee in the potty but he won't poop in the potty and he won't poop in a diaper. He cries holding himself and eventually poops on the floor after many trips to the potty.

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