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Homemade Over-the-Hill "Survival Kit"

I am looking for ideas on what to put in a fun homemade, adult male over-the-hill "survival kit".

Kathy from Ontonagon

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By guest (Guest Post)
January 8, 20090 found this helpful

Over The Hill Survival Kit

Memory Mints: for Senior Moments

Duct Tape: Instant face lift

Age Spots Remover: For those nasty brown spots

A String: to keep your glasses nearby

Magnifying glass: to read the really small print...

Paddle ball: for strenuous exercise

Tweezers: to remove chin hairs, nose hairs, or ear hairs, like stray eyebrows.

Emergency whistle: for when you've fallen and can't get up

Oil of Old Age Lotion: for dry, old cracked skin

Fan: for hot flashes

Funnel: because you wonder why everyone has started to mumble

Old Age Pills: take as directed.

Cup for teeth: because you & your teeth don't sleep together

Playing cards:. In large print

Over the Hill Pills: take as needed for those 'senior moments'

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Maxi pad: because everything either dries up or leaks

Over The Soap: with exclusive, industrial strength anti-aging ingredients

Hair Color: To cover the Grey

Decision Dice: to plan your day

Hot Flash Cream: for those menopause moments

Nose Clip: to stop snoring

All Bran Cereal: because all your wild oats have turned to bran

40 Pennies: a start on your retirement fund

Pepcid tablets: for constant heartburn

Ben Gay: because at the breakfast you hear snap!, crackle! & pop!, & you're not eating cereal.

Treasure Box : because you have entered the metallic age - silver hair, gold teeth & lead bottom.

Photo Album: to help your memory

A Placard : Be proud to be a "Priceless Antique"

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January 8, 20090 found this helpful

Ben Gay, magnifying glass, heating pad, Polident tablets, cushy pillow, warm blanket, maybe a cane...sounds like stuff we're thinking about around here!

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January 8, 20090 found this helpful

Don't forget a small roll of toilet paper squashed flat: for those occasional mistakes when out and about.

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By guest (Guest Post)
January 8, 20090 found this helpful

Thanks everyone for your ideas. It will be fun putting this all together.

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By guest (Guest Post)
January 14, 20090 found this helpful

When my husband retired they gave him a can with a horn attached, a rear view mirror also attaced. A basket with toilet tissue, preperation H, Pepto Bismol, denture cleaner,
eye glass cleaner, & a magnifying glass.

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Anonymous
January 14, 20090 found this helpful

Don't forget an ad for Viagra, a cheap wig or toupe, and Depends ;-)

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January 15, 20090 found this helpful

Arthritis Strength Tylenol, FlexAll or other pain relief creme, Ginko Biloba for memory, Black Cohash for hot flashes, Large Print books or crossword puzzles, depends, Wrinkle creme, Shampoo for thinning hair...

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