Self HelpBetter Living

Brightening Your Day By Helping Someone Else

Category Self Help

In my many years of living I have found that the best pick-me-up for depression is to get your mind off your own problems and do something to cheer someone else up. If nothing else, send a card and make someone else's day a little brighter. When God lays someone on your heart, there's a reason behind it. Pray for them and act on his leading. You'll feel better and so will they. Trust me - it works!


By Sharon, KY

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July 23, 20050 found this helpful

Amen to that, Sharon. Wouldn't this be a wonderful world if everyone took your advice?

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July 23, 20050 found this helpful

You are so correct, Sharon. It is the best time to do something nice for other people. "Goodness has its own rewards" as my grandmother used to say. Occasionally I have been told by people: "You are too nice", and I never really agree with them. What they are really telling me is: "I am not usually treated this thoughtfully, and it's hard for me to accept your niceness. Because of how I have been treated, I am suspicious of what's going on." I think we are here to be good to one another. For each one person putting down another, it takes about ten good deeds or remarks to repair the damage. It is idiotic to be nasty to one another. It is said that someone unconscioiusly tells how they want to be treated by the way they treat others. And their nastiness usually has nothing to do with you anyway. So try to ignore others who try to transfer their emotional pain on to you so they can feel better. They are employing the major defense mechanism called TRANSFERENCE. TRANSFERENCE allows others to temporily rid themsleves of little pieces of their own their pain by foisting it onto you. They are using you as a container to hold the pain they don't want to deal with. Don't ever say: "what's wrong with me that he/she would treat me that way." The correct words are: "What's going on with THAT person?" Because, honey, it surely isn't about you. Try not to own any of their "stuff"which has NOTHING to do with you in the first place. And you can protect yourself by saying something simple like: "right back to you", or: "I see Mr or Ms Nasty is out today", or "Boy, you are really having a bad day today. I am sorry about that, and I do not accept responsibility for your nastiness as it has nothing to do with me".


A statement like that restores to the one being attacked the personal power someone is sneakily and detrimentally-to-you attempting to steal so they can feel better for a little while. The really most important thing to remember is "IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU - IT'S ABOUT THE TYPE OF ENERGY THAT PERSON HAS BROUGHT UP AROUND HIMSELF BY THE DEFENSE MECHANISM KNOWN AS "PROJECTION". If they can successfully project onto you as the cause of their "stuff", for whatever reasons, they do not have to look into themselves and heal themselves by becoming conscious instead of acting unconsciously. I'd love to see everyone have and read and reread "COMPASSION AND SELF HATE - An Alternative to Despair" by Theodore Isaac Rubin, M.D. I read it so many years ago, and still pull it out of the book shelf to read pieces of it. When I first discovered what I was doing was a little piece of self hate, I just stopped doing it for the most part. It's called FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT. If I don't act loving towards myself, who will. I have learned to feel really good about myself and the person I continually strive to be. I have my failings here and there cause I am human. I am saying it is possible to improve your life by doing for yourself. And then you will also recognize other's acts of self hate for what it is and not allow that person to steal your energy. ENERGY THIEVES will SUCK you dry if you allow them to. Please protect yourself. Educate yourself. If someone is being nasty to you, it most often has nothing to do with you. PLEASE give it a try. There is so much to be gained. There is so much of YOU to be gained. Thank you. Joan in CT

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October 4, 20050 found this helpful

I've tried that, but people just thought I was stalking them :P


Just kidding. One thing that I tried that people really liked was to write a list of ten things that I liked about everyone I could think of and then give it to them. It's really surprising when someone does something nice and thoughtful for you ^_^

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October 4, 20050 found this helpful

TeraDaisySpawn - I love that idea. Thanks for sharing. Sounds like an idea that anyone would love. I'll keep it in mind with Christmas coming up.


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Better Living Self HelpJuly 23, 2005
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