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Preparing for a Baby?

I have found myself to be VERY unexpectedly pregnant at age 38. My husband and I have two sons, ages 16 and 10. I work but have no benefits and my husband is on Social Security Disability. We have no debt at this time beside our Mortgage and car and luckily I was able to get medical insurance through the state only because I am pregnant. I stretch our dollars like you would not believe. The problem that I am most worried about is the fact that I have high blood pressure being controlled by medication going into this pregnancy. The doctor has assured me that he will keep an eye on things and take good care of me.

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I am terrified however, about the fact that toward the end of this pregnancy I may have to be on bed-rest. If I can't work our financial situation will go quickly downhill. I have a month's worth of vacation days that I am saving to use for recovery (I will need a third c-section) and I am trying very hard to squirrel away about a months worth of expenses to ease my mind. Then there is the fact that I have NO baby stuff left over from my other kids except some special things I was saving for grandchildren. I am so afraid that something will go wrong that I am afraid to get any baby things ahead of time. Any suggestions?

Thank You,
Cindy from Lorain, OH

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May 5, 20070 found this helpful

Hi.
First, congratulations! I truly wish you a healthy pregnancy and hope you are able to enjoy it.

Second, it sounds like you are better at managing things than I am - so I hope that others can post some good advice. With no debt other than your mortgage you are in a better financial state than most of America. You should be proud of that.

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If you haven't already, check with your social services dep't to see if your eligible for food allowance.
I got lots of stuff for my children at garage sales and thrift shops when they were little. If you belong to a Church, they usually have a list of resources for someone in your situation (I know mine does).

Just take one day at a time and try to relax. Hopefully your friends and/or family will give you a shower - after all, you are starting over.
I wish you the best - good luck!

 
May 5, 20070 found this helpful

Cindy
Congrats -I had my first son at 38 and high BP - but we did ok... keep your stress down, and exercise lightly as you can -that helps...

Join FREECYCLE on Yahoo - and check Craigslist - there are lots of baby things moving around secondhand -mostly free - on those lists.

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Best of luck to you!

 
May 5, 20070 found this helpful

1)Baby clothes are usually free in the newspaper. --Cheap at a yard sales(never pay more than .25 for a piece, or .50 for suit). --go to the local thrift shop.--ask co workers/friends: there is always someone looking to get rid of their bags of kids clothes!
2)Breastfeed! Mommy's Milk is so much better for babies, that is what the baby wants and that is what your body wants(hence milk coming in). Not only does the milk make your baby smarter and stronger, but it gives your child immunity to whatever colds you and your ancestors had(if you were nursed as well). I have even heard one nurse say the reason babys get more sick(spit up, gas, burps) on formula is because there body initially sees it as "tainted" and often rejects it as if it were spoiled food. And the number one reason to breastfeed: YOU LOSE WEIGHT!! Think about milk:its full of calories and fat! After my second child I started to eat healthy(no exercise) and pumped milk/breastfed. When you feed your baby it will be similiar to 30 minutes of exercise. I lost more than my baby weight. I am now skinnier than I was in high school! You deserve to be a hot mama!

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If you feed your baby for 9mo it lowers your risk of cancer significantly(as if you need another reason).
3)make your own baby food. Purchase a baby food processor. Its easier than you think, I just scoop whatever we are eating in the processor..no special recipes required. I also freeze baby food in an ice tray and snap them out into a freezer bag. Drop a cube in a small tupperware before bed.
4) Use coupons for diapers, always! Some people use cloth diapers, I am sure it is much cheaper. I couldn't do the cloth diapers: I have a weak stomach and it will be my single sin against the earth!
5)Is there a baby club at your grocery chain? I get coupons and samples and even the baby's first birthday cake free.
6)Are there any groups you can join? A parent/baby/etc. group is a great way to get help, tips, clothing, toys and support.
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7)Very Important. Have a support group: friends, family, church, etc. People that can help around the house, doctor app. or just someone to talk to. If you aren't happy your kids won't be either.
Good Luck and be thankful you have 2 baby helpers living with you!(your kids;-)

 
By alch (Guest Post)
May 5, 20070 found this helpful

You might want to check the papers for someone selling baby stuff. But one big item per month like crib, stroller-things you will need right away. Do not waste money on things for the baby like a changing table or bassinet. Take it one day at a time. Do you have any friends who have had babies lately? Maybe they can loan you stuff.

 
May 6, 20070 found this helpful

Also check into signing up for WIC.

Visit the diaper websites and sign up for coupons.

 

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May 6, 20070 found this helpful

Congratulations on the new blessing..and I understand your concerns. My best friend had three children with high blood pressure concerns. If breastfeeding will not work, the major formula producers all have special programs. You don't have a limit on how many you can sign up for. They give you free samples and discount coupons to supplement the cost. WIC will also provide formula and cereal/juice, and with what info you provided you may qualify (and even if it is on the border...TAKE IT that is why they are there!)

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Clothes and baby items are best found this time of year at rummage sales and thrift stores (or through out the summer) because they are cleaning out or moving. You can also contact your local Churches or Salvation Army, or even your older child's high school, who may know of teachers who may have some (I'm sure the "Younger" mothers would keep their stuff!)

For the bedrest: if you have a large freezer, start cooking NOW and freeze in those gladware oven safe containers, that way you don't fall into the take-out trap. I did that on a tight budget with hamburger helper! But whatever recipes you have, I am sure they will work fine. Start talking to your family now about the upcoming months and what you will expect from them; maybe do up a chart of chores so not one is feeling overwhelmed with work and getting resentful!

Just take care of your essentails and enjoy this time!

 
By Joyce Ackley (Guest Post)
May 6, 20070 found this helpful

You have received so much good advice already - I don't think there's much I can add! I have been buying baby clothes for a friend who is pregnant and on bed rest. Even thrift stores and consignment shops have half-off sales, and I have managed to find some great buys. I've gotten little onsies and sleepers for 50 cents each, a rocking baby seat for $2.50, etc.

If you let people know you are in need of larger items such as high chair, crib, play pen, etc. I'm sure there are good folks out there who will be happy to donate the necessities.

Although I can't add much to what has already been said, I certainly extend my support and encouragement. I think the best thing you can do is to stay calm and approach the situation by taking "baby steps," - no pun intended! Just take one day at a time, take care of yourself, and graciously accept the assistance that friends and strangers alike offer. Remember that the "giver" often feels blessed to be able to help and finds joy in whatever he or she can do. Try not to worry.
Best of luck to you.

 
By teresa (Guest Post)
May 7, 20070 found this helpful

check on yahoo groups for a Freecycle group in your area. you sign up and people post things they want to give away and you can post for things you need.

 
May 7, 20070 found this helpful

Be sure to make your needs known, especially to family and friends - (even strangers). Someone may have a bassinet collecting dust in their basement or bags of baby/children's clothes they need to drop off at Goodwill. If the doctor's office allows, post a note on a public bulletin board requesting "baby stuff." If you have a crisis pregnancy center nearby, check it out also. Best Wishes!

 
By Karen (Guest Post)
May 7, 20070 found this helpful

First of all Congratulations! I had a surprise pregnancy when I was 37---seems to be the 'magic' age for those surprises...Nature's way of letting us have one last baby. I went onto have another (planned) at age 42 and he was my only boy after 3 live girls and lost twin girls due to prematurity.
As the others have said...thrift shops. Even now that is my 1st choice of shopping. I can get any colour I want of anything at greatly reduced prices.
Secondly nurse your baby---best food and saves thousands of dollars as well as being sooo much easier. All that sterilization of bottles and heating them up--not for me! I have always taken my baby to bed with me too on advice of my aunt who had 5 children of her own. BEST advice in my life.
Third, check out cloth diapers today. The breathable qualities of cloth vs. plastic or paper makes a drop in temperature esp. for a baby boy's testes which is causing a lot of sterility in males today. You will save thousands of dollars doing cloth diapers and they're not much different than paper.
You can buy or make your own---they are formed these days, not the squares of olden days--look for them at the thrift shop or look on websites--many sites to make your own. But even if you have to buy new, it'll be a major savings over the time of your diaper days.
Buying used anything is a major savings and there are so many places to look these days.
Enjoy your new baby.

 
By Debbie columbia, Sc (Guest Post)
May 7, 20070 found this helpful

God will provide if you have the faith He will. Don't let worry ruin your last pregnancy : ).
Drink lots of water! I mean lots like a gallon a day. Water helps keep high blood pressure down! I did same as you. high risk pregnancy, I have hypo-thyroidism too. Honestly, low salt, lots of water, prenatal vitamins, bananas.. enjoy your gift from God. Worry is fretting and God warns us not to fret. He will never leave us, He will always meet our needs if we ask.
: )

 
By (Guest Post)
May 7, 20070 found this helpful

The tip about freecycle is a good one. I live in Parma Ohio and I am a member of my areas group. Yahoo Groups is free, and freecycle (also free) is a group that opperates under them. You could also find freecycle by using a search engine to look up freecycle and then enter your area and then sign up for that particular area. Then just post a Wanted ad (free) and others will respond to you. You do have to pick up the things from the people who are giving them away, but,you are not alowed to sign up for other areas, so everything is close by. I wish you good luck and congrats on your new addition! God Bless you and yours.

 
By Cindy (Guest Post)
May 8, 20070 found this helpful

First of all, Thank God! You are assisting Him in a miracle! It will all take care of itself. I too found myself with an unexpected pregnancy at 38, with high blood pressure, developed gestational diabetes, etc. BUT, it was okay. Now I have a VERY precious 4 year old little Gift from God. Use the above mentioned ideas, they are all great. Main thing is Don't Stress Yourself Out, and BELIEVE. God will ALWAYS provide your EVERY need, all you have to do is ASK.
Blessings to you and your family, the Best of Luck to you!

 
By Jamie (Guest Post)
May 8, 20070 found this helpful

Throw yourself a baby shower, it has been 10 years since your last one and you could really use the items you will get. Also have some guys throw a diaper party for your husband. My husband had one and we didnt have to buy diapers or wipes for about 4 months. Anything that is left over that you might want to check out the resale stores, usually in the spring to early summer they will have tent sales trying to get rid of stuff from the year before. You can get lots of things not only for new baby but for an older baby too. If you are not planning to breast feed watch the sale signs for formula. We go to Costco and get 2 large cans of formula for $20.00 this is about $20.00 cheaper than getting 2 cans at a grocery store. Go online and sign up for free stuff, pampers, similac, huggies and babies r us all have things on thier website about signing up for thier club and they send you free stuff in the mail. I hope all this information was of help to you. At 30 I have a 10 month old and a 10 year old, money was extremely tight and still is. Every bargan I can find I jump at it. Good luck to you and your family.

 
By Diana (Guest Post)
May 8, 20070 found this helpful

Does your company offer Short term disability? Often called STD
It will cover a pregnancy (most STD classify pregnancy as a sickness!)
I was 40 when I had my last baby (also unexpected)
I wish I had been able to talk my husband into a 3rd a few years later! GOod luck!

 

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May 8, 20070 found this helpful

congrats. i am praying for you now that you have the Peace that passess all understanding. this is the peace that only Jesus can give. well there is always a food bank. you can type in your state and the word food bank and someting should come up. thrift stores for baby clothes. churches are a wonderful support system. we have a program here in maryland that i thought was nation wide. wic--women infants and children. that you get discounted food for you and the kids. cloth diapers though you do more laundry you arent buying those expensive throw away things.
fill out surveys like my survey . com. etc. you can gather some cash from there. not alot but it does add up. i have $90 saved on there right now from 7 months of surveys.

 
By (Guest Post)
May 8, 20070 found this helpful

MY MOM BECAME PREGNANT WITH CHILD #6 AT AGE 36 WHAT A SURPRISE TO HER AND ALL OF US KIDS
I WAS 17 AND THE SECOND CHILD
WE DIDN'T BELIEVE HER UNTIL SHE WAS ABOUT 4 OR 5 MONTHS PREGNANT AND BEGAN TO SHOW.
THAT CHILD WAS THE LAST CHILD SHE HAD AND WASD NAMED THEENDA. (THE END.. WITH AN "A" ON IT)PRONOUNCED THEE END A
2 YEARS LATER..I MADE HER A GRANDMA
WAS KINDA WIERD HAVING A NEWBORN AND A SISTER THAT WAS 2. PEOPLE OFTEN THOUGHT BOTH WERE MINE !!

 
 
By Sandy from WI (Guest Post)
May 9, 20070 found this helpful

I'm happy for you. Please try to calm down--it's not good for you or your baby.
See if you can find a local MOPS group (mothers of preschoolers)--pregnant women can join, too. MOPS will support you. MOPS has a care and share table at each meeting where clothing, diapers, bouncy seats, etc. are left and are free to take.
God bless!

 
January 23, 20100 found this helpful

No advice, but God bless you!

 

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