I eat right and do a lot of walking. I have a glass of wine or two on the weekends. I do have a lot on my mind with work money and just every day life. I am trying to get my son through some tough stuff, he lost his father less than a year ago. Does anyone have some tips on simple ways to keep my stress down?
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I know what you mean, am exactly there! My son was living with me for almost a year after he and his wife split. My 3 grand kids were 1 week here and another with mommy, but I've been babysitting them all the time, since 9 years ago and my new grand kid (3months now) also, as well as my 85 yrs. old mother; so, you just can imagine how stressful I am. On top of that, my husband lost his job due to the country's situation last year, just started working 3 weeks ago, and yesterday 3/05 told me his hours had been cut.
I look for for at least 5 things to be thankful for every day and then I list them in my journal. I write my thoughts, idea and plans in the journal daily. I try to remember to live only one day at a time and trust God to do the rest.
My family laughs at my practice of "looking at the full part" of my life glass but it's helped me through a great deal of "stuff" like death, divorce, job loss, cancer, and "kid stuff". When I feel the stress of everything building up I just mentally step back and focus on what IS going right and what I DO have.
Gardening helps with stress also walking a mile a day around the block. You may meet some new neighbors that's also walking or outside. Don't be afraid to speak, good luck.
A lot fo these tips are great but one of the best ways to give your mind a break is to get out and do something with friends. Many adults, especially mothers, tend to lose friends along the way.
If you don't have many friends to ring up to go out; join a group or take a class and be friendly. Concenttrating on yourself and making friends benefits you immensely and gets your mind off other things.
I love gardening and hiking but when you're alone your mind wanders back to your troubles.
Worrying about stress is stressful, I quit that. I have to admit, I will light a cig and have a touch of good whiskey. But what really helps me is that I try to remember this parable below, written by a friend.
Parable
One day there was a man who lived in a tiny village. As a child, he heard stories of a magical beast, that if caught, would grant him every wish. All of the adults in his village had hunted for this beast for as long as anyone could remember. Most never came close, others caught a brief glimpse, and the lucky few actually claimed to have found him.
Now that he was grown, the man set off to find the beast for himself. He wandered across the fields, crossed rivers, camped out at night, and climbed mountains. All the while, his thoughts focused on the beast. He must find it. He grew more and more tired, and eventually he grew old.
At the very end, he sat down in the meadow, and cried into his tired and wrinkled hands. Then, the beast appeared. It was beautiful, with green fur and gold claws and diamonds for eyes. It sat down next to the man, and said:
You have finally found me, old man. You never gave up. It is unfortunate that it came so late. What is your wish?
"I want to be rich," said the man.
"And why is that?"
"So I won't have to worry."
"Ah. And what has worried you?"
"I've always been obsessed with finding you- now that you are here, I can rest."
"So you worried about finding me so you wouldn't have to worry?"
The man didn't have an answer for that, so the beast continued.
"It happens every time. People are so obsessed with me that they can't see the glory of the mountains they've climbed, or the beauty of the rivers they've crossed. There's no time to rest or stare at the night sky and simply breathe. No chance to pick a few flowers or admire the deer as they graze. They hope to find me, in the hopes of becoming happy. Yet everyday they passed happiness by- in the trees, their family, and the birds in the air."
"I'm so tired," the man said, "I just want to sleep."
The beast crouched over him and closed the man's eyes.
"As you wish."
When I feel stress, I just have to look around & see I don't have it so bad. We live in a small town and we have a young teacher who just found out he has lukemia. His wife stays home - they have 4 children - 2 at home & 2 in the lower grades. That overshadows any stress that I have. Oh yes, I agree it helps give you Peace to bring your troubles to a Higher Power.
I have read that people who regularly attend a church or synagogue and have a deep religious faith have less stress in their lives.
I went to biofeedback, to learn breathing and relaxation techniques. No matter what you set your mind to do, your body is in full-stress mode, once you've experienced stress. So the best thing to do is relax your body first, and your mind will follow.
Just Google terms like "progressive relaxation" or "relaxation techniques" for details. Such relaxation techniques even help offer some relief of physical ailments from high blood pressure to epilepsy.
After my husband died several years ago, I had to learn to manage my stress and emotions so they didn't overtake my life. The thing that worked best for me was to actually schedule a time to let it all out, and that was once a day in the shower. I allowed myself to stay in there as long as I wanted (or until all the hot water ran out!) and cry, feel sorry for myself, pound fists - whatever I needed at the time. It really helped me get through the early stages of grief one day at a time. I know from experience that stress can do horrible things to your body, so do whatever you must to get those emotions out.
Emotional Freedom Techniques - EFT - Learn in 5 minutes!
I have used Emotional Freedom Techniques and can attest that it definitely works in reducing stress.
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I meditate. It might take a while to get into it, but it really does work. I took a TM [Transendental Meditation] class in college, and it makes a positive difference. Take a class and take the hour or so a day [total] for yourself. You might even want to introduce your son to this restorative "activity". It's been greatly beneficial to me, for over 30 years. [I need to do it even more consistently]. Good luck.
I agree with the person who mentioned meditation. This is by far the best way to get out of a depression without medication. My father passed away last year and I lost a close relationship a few months later. I started yoga which includes meditation. Not sure I would have made it without this. Good luck and positive energy to you! peace.
I think the bible said it best in Philippians 4:6-7
Be careful for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.
Our pastor put it this way: "Let your petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers."
If you put your faith in Jesus and believe in what he did for us on the cross...anything in this world can be bearable.
Find a good church and mingle with the people there. Don't be afraid to chat with them whatever your religion. turn to God -- good luck
I agree with the people who suggested yoga. I have a 2 year old daughter, a needy cat, a loving husband, and a stressful job with an incompetent co-worker. So, not only am I stressed, I have little to no time either. Set a time at the end of the day or even during where you are "off duty". No children or pets or husbands or work thoughts or anything stressful allowed during this time. Take this time to do some yoga and meditate. It makes you more aware of your breathing and you can learn how to control your breath to help you control your stress and blood pressure levels. And, when doing the yoga, focus only on the poses - not whether you are doing them right or not, but the fact that you are doing them at all. The simplicity of a good beginner yoga routine works wonders. I recommend Richard Hittleman's 28 Day Yoga Workout. It is great for beginners and helps you relax.
A lot of good ideas have already been presented here, but guys and gals, you might've missed the simplest one - laughter.
The book of Proverbs says "a merry heart doeth good like a medicine." Borrow a clean joke book from your local library. Sign up for a daily joke email. Watch " Blue Collar TV," "SCTV," SNL," "Home Improvement," MASH" reruns, or "Mork and Mindy" reruns, or whatever makes you laugh.
Yes, do any of the other things suggested here that fit into your lifestyle and beliefs. But when you're really short on time, it only takes a couple of minutes at most to enjoy a good joke! If you're not ready to laugh yet, or your son isn't, please work your way into it. I believe it'll help.
btw... for whoever said we who have strong faith have less stress, you're mistaken, my friend. I don't have less stress in my life. I simply seem to handle it a bit better because I know what to do about it. God bless.
Here are a few ideas that come to mind:
take a couple of deep, slow breaths
meditate
yoga
T'ai Chi
read
take a nap
I can tell you what works for me I take a hot bubble bath by candle light and listen to soft easy music I also have a cup of hot tea Debbie
My favorite way is to fill the tub with hot water, throw in some epsom salts, and soak. I like to read sometimes, close my eyes and visualize others, and take time to think through issues at other times. It's the only time I have where I can be by myself and basically do nothing. Definitely helps me maintain my sanity.
I work with my hands, that is cleaning, knitting, etc.
I crawl under my comforter, hug my bear Ferdinand close to my heart and close my eyes tightly! And tell God everything.
There are a lot of great suggestions here and I hope you find the right combination of ideas to try and that work for you. I would add this: start a list of all the things you can find to be grateful for. Even if all you can list is - I am breathing - start there. My daughter and I have done this for several years. She calls it her Big Five.
When she was in middle school and having a very hard time, I told her to write down 5 things each day that she could be thankful for. She is now a senior in high school and still does it. When we can find something, anything to be thankful for (and you can thank whomever you like), it helps lift our sights a little higher. Best wishes to you and God bless.
Phyllis
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