Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder

RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post By Michael (Guest Post) (09/04/2008) Hi. I'm fifteen and my dad is bipolar. the doctor took him off his meds because his kidneys are functioning at about 60%. He has been acting so different and keeps yelling at my mom and I don't know why but he won't trust anyone but me. He always has to be around me and ask me if anything is a good idea. The doctor put him on decakote( if that's how you spell it). He is taking it when I ask him. I was reading on webmd and I saw that it may take 1-2 weeks for any meds to kick in and I have been crying ever since. I love my dad so much but I don't know what to do. He has been yelling at other people and my mom told me a lot of things about when he went crazy before and he kidnapped me and started thinking my grandpa(his dad) was satan/a devil. All this has hit me so hard I don't know what to do. Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post by gurth (137) | (08/19/2008) Profile | Contact Amanda! May I suggest that you and your mother contact the Maintenance Court having jurisdiction in the area where you live, to find out your rights regarding maintenance from your father while you are studying. And also how to pursue those rights, even if it means taking him to court to have the parental agreement made an order of the court. Do NOT be afraid of trying this avenue! I did the same for my daughter and eventually her father paid all her expenses. The court will decide, on the information available, how much he should contribute and how often. God bless you! Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post by Glenn'sMom (314) | (08/17/2008) Profile | Blog! | Contact to Trixie (again): You need to GET OUT OF THERE!!! Since you're not married (and even if you were) you're not responsible for feeding him!! He's absolutly impossible and you need to get away. With his violent temper and unprovoked rages he sounds dangerous. If I were your mother I would come get you and bring you home THIS INSTANT!! Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post By TRIXIE (Guest Post) (08/14/2008) To: glenn's mom. Thank you for your advice. I'm not even thinking of marrying this guy. I'm really planning on leaving him. However I'm hoping that before that happens he will be at least in a better situation. (If that will ever happen). He is just beginning to get settled on his job (which I helped him to get it). He is still working part time but lately he is almost working full-time. His boss likes him because he is nice to those who don't know him well. We work in the same company but different depts and buildings so that at least gives me a little bit of a breather. But I bring him lunch, snacks every day. Sometimes he will even ask me to buy his cigarettes and coffee. When I leave him, I need to leave my job too. He is driving me crazy everyday. He works 8 to 4 pm daily and my hours are flexible as long as i put in my 8 hrs/day I'm good. But every morning I have to be at work early so I can give him his food. And he nags and sometimes yell and cursed at me when I'm not at work before 7:45. I told him that I will just drop it off before his lunch time but he doesn't want that. He is embarrassed with his co-workers to see that I'm bringing him food. But more often that not. That's how i start my day. Rushing and stress and expecting that he will yell and cursed at me for being late. All i can do when he does that is cry and pray to god to only give me things that I can handle. I believe I'm a very patient person. But I can't handle this anymore. If I can only push him to get help maybe things will be better for him. And to you-glenn's mom. Thank you very much for responding to my post. I wish you all the best this world can offer. 'Till next time. Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post by Glenn'sMom (314) | (08/08/2008) Profile | Blog! | Contact To Trixie: I was told when I was too young to know it for myself that if a guy (or girl for that matter) treats you like that before you're married they'll be many times worse after the marriage. Not sure if marriage is in your thoughts but 'boyfriends' who act like you describe are not going to get better. You've described somebody I love very much and I've been trying to help him for many years. I always feel so sorry for the lastest woman in his life because I know what she's going to be going through. With this kind of person you have to lose all your self-respect, wishes, hopes, dreams, and feelings to "make it work". Who wants that??!! I hope you move on. Everybody deserves better than that. Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post By Trixie (Guest Post) (08/08/2008) I need some advice regarding loving someone with bipolar disorder. It is very difficult and it can be nerve wracking. My boyfriend I think knows that he is bipolar. However, the are days that he won't admit it. How can you help someone who doesn't admit that they have such condition? His mood is very erratic. He will rage a t little things and will be nice again to me especially when he wants me to buy him something. I can tell that he is being manipulative but I'm trying to be very patient with him until I can find a solution for him to get help. For the mean time it is very stressful. You don't know what his mood is going to be every day. An example would be yesterday. He called me at work and I was having a terrible migrane. So I wasn't it the best mood to joke with him. I didn't even say any bad words. All of a sudden he said he doesn't want to talk to me because of my "drama". A few minutes later, he called again, yelling, screaming, cursing on top of his lungs broke up with me and then we hung up. A few minutes again, he called me back and said he was sorry. He said that I'm constantly pissing him off. he can call me anytime he wants. But I can't do that with him especially when he is busy. If I leave him alone, he will say "I don't care anymore". But if I call him, he said I'm clingy. I'm trying to help him as much as I can but there were times that I just want to give up. I don't know if I can handle this kind of treatment. I fell like he is using me especially financially. Should I get out? Does bipolar people really know what love means? My boyfriend can be selfish and very inconsiderate on bad days. But on good days, he can be the sweetest guy on earth. And one more thing, he is very nice on other people who doesn't really know him. But to his family and me, he can be so rude, means, harsh and disrespectful at times. Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post by Glenn'sMom (314) | (08/07/2008) Profile | Blog! | Contact To Amanda: I don't think there is anythng you can do about your dad, sorry to say. You just have to do whatever else you can to get through school. My husband and I are retired and don't pay for our son's college education. He gets student loans, works, and has joined the military to get through. I'm not very informed about bipolar but I do know that you can't "make" a person do anything they don't want to do. It's possible that his bipolar condition and refusing to help with school are totally unrelated. Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post By Amanda (Guest Post) (08/07/2008) I have just recently found out that my father is bipolor. Because of his random highs and lows and excessive buying, my parents divorced when I was ten. When I went off to college, both of my parents agreed to split 50/50 for college tuition/ fees, housing, etc. About a month ago, I called my dad to talk to him, and he flat out told me that he was not going to pay for any of my schooling. I tried to talk to him reasonly, but he got in a very nasty mood, and told me that he could no longer keep "working his a**" off anymore", along with a hundred other excuses. However, he just recently bought a new 4-wheeler, and goats for showing--so I know he's not having money problems. How should I confront him with my dillemma? I do not want to upset him. I love him very dearly, but it has upset me that he has broken his promise to me. Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post By Michelle (Guest Post) (07/28/2008) I have bipolar disorder and let me clarify--it is a chemical imbalance, not a mental illness. I work as a Nursing Assistant taking care of other people, many with dementia and yes, even mental illness! I also am in the process of authoring a book. I have already authored a book of therapy. Additionally, my partner and I have been together for seven years. Many of the remarks made by people above regarding their alleged loved ones--it sounds more like your referring to pets, are sad. It is no wonder the horrible stigma surrounding this disorder exists. Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post By (Guest Post) (07/07/2008) I understand , because I have a brother with bipolar/schizo affective disorder. We have been dealing with this for 18 years. It has been very hard on my family. We have had him hospitalize so many times. He also has a drug problem that puts more problems into the situation. It seems that it has been harder to help him sense the new hepa law came into affect. We are right now trying to find a way to have him permanently put into a hospital setting, because my mother finally quit being controlled by him and he tried to kill her. So be careful on how you let them control situations because when they think they have no more money and help coming they will get rid of that person. He told my mother that she had killed his mother so he was going to kill her. She told him that she was his mother and he said my mother would not treat me this way. What he was saying was she had taking back control and he did not have control over her anymore. So he was going to kill her because if she was not going to help him than he did not need her anymore. So in his eyes she must die. He was also thinking that he would get my parents things. So that means he must get rid of me also because he knows he can not control me. My advice for you is to start talking to anyone in the hospital where your bipolar person has been like social workers doctors mental health system. Just keep asking them questions and if they don't know than say what about someone else. Then maybe you can find your help. I have been going on medwirenews. They have some information that is helpful. I wish you the best of luck God knows we all need it. Kelly Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post By (Guest Post) (05/30/2008) I got a girl friend who I love very much who is bipolar and its breacing us apart cause I have never been through this and I don't want to lose her. She won't get help but I don't want to turn my back on her either. I love her very much. I need help on how to deal with her mood swings and how to deal with it period. So if there is anyone who can help me pleases email me at hurricanandtornado AT yahoo.com. Please help me someone so I can make our relationship work. Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post by crystal22 (1) | (07/30/2007) Blog! | Contact This is something totally new to you as a person. You have lived your life and never had to rearrange what you did to someone else.I have alwyas listened at what my boyfriend said, and had computed it so when I said something back to him when he was in his "attitude mode" I didnt make it worse. I just tried to be there as the unbiased individual , and let him know I wasnt the critic, just because I didn't grow up with him, or in your case, she didnt raise u, so it isnt an obligation to be there. U are there as a friend, and in my case, a lover. Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post By Mamaw KCD (Guest Post) (05/15/2007) As a Mother-in-law it has been a tough situation,because I DID tend to take everything personally.I knew for years she had dealt with depression,finally she was diagnosed and I understand better now.I would get irritated when she did things in raising her children that I didn't understand.I'm a straight-shooter when it came to raising my three and I didn't have much tolerance,I must admit. I try to babysit when she needs me or is working and am trying in a kind subtle way to stay out of the picture otherwise,to avoid conflict. She is finally on medicine that seems to be doing better,but there for a month or so I was so seriously afraid I was on the verge of breakdown myself.I couldn't get on with my life for concern about the children and my son.The problem has definitely taken its toll on our ENTIRE family,but thank God and LOTS and LOTS of concerned prayers I think things are looking up.I suppose the hardest thing to accept and understand was that the things she did that I thought were strange parenting skills came as a result of her disorder.The strange thing about this is my elderly mother had dementia in her last years and I was the one in a family of six children who recognized the changes in mother's actions,yet I couldn't understand that mental illness can affect a girl as young asmy Daughter-in-law. I wish earlier on instead of being critical and judgemental of things I didn't understand I had encouraged her to seek help until they found the right medicine she needed.I read a lot from a book by Rosalyn Carter,called Helping someone with Mental Illnesss. Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post By blindquilter (Guest Post) (05/13/2007) Please read Patty Duke's biography "MY NAME IS ANNA." I started exhibiting symptoms of the disease when I was 16 years old. At age 51 I was finally diagnosed correctly, and took medication for a long time. I don't think that people realize how poorly most health insurance trreats mental illness. Much of the care available is available if you have the money for it, but heaven help the sufferer who is uninsured, on Medicare, or receiving Welfare of any sort. That person will be pretty much out of luck. Your counseling should be teaching you ways to cope with the sufferer. Remember-- you must take care of yourself, or you're no help to anyone. My maternal grand father was bipolar, I am bipolar and a depressive, and both my kids are depressives. It does run in families, and if you have a first degree family member who is bipolar, chances are someone in the next generaltion will be, too. The illness can be controlled, but I think it's really important for anyone dealing with a bipolar to remeber-- IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT!! AND YOU DIDN'T MAKE THEM MANIC, OR DEPRESSED, OR ANGRY OR SUICIDAL. Our suicide rate is high, as is our rate of alcoholism and drug addiction. Do contact NAMI, and use all the Web resources you can get. blind_quilter###yahoo Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post By missy (Guest Post) (05/12/2007) I have already lost a loved one to this disease and now I have a close friend that has the same problem. I have read several of these postings and will look on the websites noted. It is just so hard sometimes to know how to deal with this friend. Sometimes I feel like I did something wrong, but I always watch what I say because I don't want to upset them. I sent my counselor an e-mail one day and asked her if there were any good books out there I could read to help me deal with this. She said the internet was a good source, but she would let me know if there was any other good sources. I had to go to a Counselor after my loved one took her life, we didn't know that she was bipolar until after she died and I sort of blame her family as they didn't think it was serious or that she would do it. But everyone says "if they don't want help, you can't do anything about it." Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post By Tina H (Guest Post) (04/28/2007) Boy, today was a good day for this post. I have two bi-polar daughters, and when they are good they are great, when they are bad...they are awful! Medication helps the mood disorders, if they take them, and we have done counseling, but arent right now. I would say that you have to take care of yourself, and have boundaries. Walk away when they can't be reasoned with, and let them cool down. don't take anything too personally. they are all different, so check out some books and some web sites for advice. There is plenty out there. If they are not under any care, this is NOT something that they can control on their own.....they do need help. Sometimes they do get more mature, anger is a issue with my daughters, so we don't feed into it, and we sometimes have to leave to allow them a cooling off time. Good luck! TH Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post By Susie from Buckhead, Ga (Guest Post) (04/26/2007) My Mother is bipolar. She also has Borderline personality disorder. She can be VERY difficult to deal with. My Father died in 2002. This caused her to spiral into more depression. With all the pressure I had a nervous breakdown. My mom is great when she can get her way. She has extreme moods. If she takes her meds she does better. We are both better when we stay away from each other. We visit every few months and this is much better. Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post By debbie in sc (Guest Post) (04/26/2007) i am a licensed therapist in the mental health field for 13yrs. my best advice to you is to contact the local chapter of NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) re their monthly meetigns and bi-weekly support groups for patients and family members. you can find out more about them on the internet or from your local community mental health center. Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post By Michele (Guest Post) (04/26/2007) Hi- I would encourage you to make sure the person with Bipolar is seeing their doctors and taking their meds properly, all the time. It is key. It makes a huge difference. Also, there are support groups in most all areas, like AA kind of. Those can be very helpful in building a support system for yourself. Additionally, there are many self help books out there, one in particular 'When Someone You Love Is Depressed' And anything written by Kay Jamison Redfield. The biggest thing though, is today, there is virtually no reason for a Bipolar person to remain unstable with all of the meds out there and all the resources. The more stable they are, the better your relationship with them will be, and the happier and more at easse in general, your life will become. Good luck to you. Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post By Loretta (Guest Post) (04/25/2007) Hi, There are some yahoo groups for bipolar Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post By Paula (Guest Post) (04/25/2007) You all should be glad that at least they can admit that something is wrong. My dad thinks it is me and that he doesn't have a problem. I hate to say it, but after years of trying to convince him to take meds, go to the doctor and accept his condition I have just washed my hands of it. YOU CAN'T HELP SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T WANT HELP. That is the bottom line. They have to want help before anything can be done. Good luck. There are plenty of help boards if you will google. I also suggest webmd! Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post By Gina (Guest Post) (04/25/2007) I have an Uncle who is Bi-Polar and he chooses NOT to take his medication. Our life with him has been very difficult especially since my Dad (his only sibling) died in 1994. Some of my family cannot tolerate him and his behavior anymore but I choose to love him and try very hard to have patience with him knowing he can't help that he has this disease. Do everything you can to encourage your friend or family member to take their medication. God Bless. Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post by CHEAPERTHANCHEAP (11) | (04/25/2007) Contact I AM BIPOLAR AND IT TOOK YEARS FOR THEM TO DIAGNOSE ME. LIKE THE ABOVE ADVICE IT TOOK AWHILE TO GET THE MEDICATION JUST RIGHT AND STILL THEY HAVE TO ADJUST IT AT DIFFERENT TIMES. PLEASE DO NOT THINK THAT THIS DISEASE IS ANYTHING BUT A DISEASE. YOU WOULD NEVER HESITATE TO TELL SOMEONE THAT A MEMEBER OF YOUR FAMILY HAD DIABETES AND BEING BIPOLAR SHOULD BE AS ACCEPTED TODAY. AFTER YEARS OF TREATMENT FOR DEPRESSION AND THEY FINALLY DECIDED THAT I WAS BIPOLAR, IT DAWNED ON MY SISTER AND I THAT OUR MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER AND GRANDAUNT WERE PROBABLY BIPOLAR. IT IS MORE COMMON THAN PEOPLE REALIZE. BUT AGAIN, BE PATIENT WHILE THE MEDICATION IS BEING ADJUSTED AND MAKE SURE THEY TAKE THE PRESCRIPTIONS AS IT IS LIKE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE MEDICATION. PEOPLE STOP TAKING IT BECASUE THEY FEEL BETTER AND THE REASON THEY FEEL BETTER IS BECAUSE OF THE MEDICATION. I HOPE EVERY THING WORKS OUT BETTER FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY MEMEBER Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a Bipolar Disorder Post by pamphyila (476) | (04/25/2007) Profile | Blog! | Contact There is a lot of advice on the net - I recommend WebMD's Bipolar Health section - there is also a board for caregivers, I think - Also check out the blog at http://bipolarcentral.com/supporterblog He's got a book/program to see - but the blog itself is very informative. Bipolar disorder - or bp - can be treated effectively with medication & lifestyle changes - But it is chronic and cannot be cured, per se. Make sure you have a good team of psychiatrist/therapist/MD/other support. It sometimes takes time to tweak the medication to proper levels - so find a practitioner who is willing to be patient and experiment. There is no one cure fits all...As I mentioned above, therapy is also good to help the sufferer adjust to the condition and to get rid of any emotional problems which may be making the whole thing worse. Do your research. Besides the sources I mentioned, there is a lot of information on the net. The patient him/herself should take as much responsibility for his/her own treatment as possible. The caregiver is there to help, monitor and reflect back signs that signify the onslaught of the dangerous mood change(s). Good luck. Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post By PAT (Guest Post) (04/25/2007) You can go to www.about.com and put in bipolar Disorder it will tell you what you want to know about it. Pat. Report Spam or Abuse RE: Dealing With Someone With a BiPolar Disorder Post by tlbuck (28) | (04/25/2007) Contact As long as the patient is taking their meds, they can have a normal (or semi-normal) life. I deal with the disease every day and if it wasn't for my family and my fiancee's family, I would not survive. To me, the first step is to make sure you tell them that you are there for them, every day if necessary. Keep a close eye on the patient, but not for what you think. It took just over 2 years to find the right regime of medications that can work with my head and body due to several allergies. Usually the first drug that will be used is lithium and that will not work with some patients (it mimic diabetics and triple my TSH levels!). Finding a good SSRI is key. Second, there can be an underlaying medical problem that should be addressed. Is there a family history of diseases in the tree? I also have to deal with fibromyalgia, so finding an antidepressant that worked with that helped greatly. 3rd...Find a bipolar support group in your community. Your local MHMR (MEntal Health, MEntal Retardation) facility can give you leads on that. I have a few webpages pertaining to bipolar and fibromyalgia, but I cannot find my password at this moment....no caffeine yet...LOL! Just hang in there...that is all we patients want. Someone to be there for us (and to make sure we don't self-medicate with illegal substances)! Report Spam or Abuse