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Bible Jokes

Category Jokes
Humor can be found in most everything we do. This page contains bible jokes.
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By 0 found this helpful
September 27, 2006

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"

His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?"

The son replied, "I do know!"

"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"

"That's easy, Daddy." the young boy replied excitedly, "It stands for Basic Information Before Leaving Earth."

By Terri from NV

Comment Was this helpful? Yes

January 19, 20060 found this helpful

A businessman was in a great deal of trouble. His business was failing, he had put everything he had into the business, he owed everybody. It was so bad he was even contemplating suicide. As a last resort he went to a priest and poured out his story of tears and woe.

When he had finished, the priest said, "Here's what I want you to do: Put a beach chair and your Bible in your car and drive down to the beach. Take the beach chair and the Bible to the water's edge, sit down in the beach chair, and put the Bible in your lap. Open the Bible; the wind will rifle the pages, but finally the open Bible will come to rest on a page. Look down at the page and read the first thing you see. That will be your answer, that will tell you what to do."

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A year later the businessman went back to the priest and brought his wife and children with him. The man was in a new custom-tailored suit, his wife in a mink coat, the children shining. The businessman pulled an envelope stuffed with money out of his pocket, gave it to the priest as a donation in thanks for his advice.

The priest recognized the benefactor, and was curious. "You did as I suggested?" he asked.

"Absolutely," replied the businessman.

"You went to the beach?"

"Absolutely."

"You sat in a beach chair with the Bible in your lap?"

"Absolutely."

"You let the pages rifle until they stopped?"

"Absolutely."

"And what were the first words you saw?"

"Chapter 11."

Submitted by GB

Comment Was this helpful? Yes

June 7, 20050 found this helpful

The lady went to the Post Office to mail an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.

"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.

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"Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.

By Terri H.

Comment Was this helpful? Yes
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