Dealing with Friends Fighting?

January 16, 2020

My BFF and I had a huge fight. And she doesn't want to be my friend anymore, but I think we could still work it out, but that's not the point. Her birthday party sleepover is soon and she doesn't want me to come anymore. Now I'd have to explain to my parents that she and I aren't the same besties they'd known us to be. And let's just say my parents and I aren't close either. Explaining to my parents about this isn't even an option I'm considering.


What else can I do to not go, but make it still seem like we're friends to my parents? Or maybe some things I can say to my bestie to convince her that we can work through our problems before the party? (Also in this fight I am in the wrong and we both know it.) I've apologized to her, but she said that we are okay but she needs some time and to give her some space. Normally, I'd give her some space, but I need to go to this party or at least make up a good believable excuse for my parents.

And I know all the people who will tell me just to be honest with my parents, but I really can't do that. So please don't tell me to be honest with my parents or something because I can't I just can't.


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January 16, 20201 found this helpful
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Sounds like you have parents as I did. Not my dad, but my mom. You could never talk with her and tell her anything at all. In your case if you can't tell them the truth just say that you are having an issue with 2 or 3 of the girls who are attending the sleepover and you do not feel good being around them. I guess to say they did some really bad things at school to you and this makes you not want to be around them.


You do know making up stories like this is a horrible idea and not a good way to get along with your parents. But if you don't have another choice you can try this one. it is not so bad and could get you out of the party.

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January 16, 20201 found this helpful
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This sounds like a sad and frustrating situation on so many levels.

Can you talk to your friend's mom or would that be weird?

I am sad that you can't talk to your parents. Parents can be tough, but they are still your parents.

Since you seem dead set against not talking to then, why not just tell your parents you aren't feeling well the day of the party so you can stay home. Yes, it is not 100% honest and while I do not promote being dishonest to your parents by any stretch of the imagination, I see this as being a "mental health day" needed so you don't have to save face if you don't go to the party.


Mental health is health just like physical health and it sounds like you are depressed and anxious about this situation, which to me qualifies as not feeling well. If your parents push you about why you don't feel well, consider being honest and telling them you are sad about the situation.

Prayers for solutions for you! Post back with an update.

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January 17, 20201 found this helpful
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You do not say how old you are but I hope you realize that situations like this are part of life and you will most likely have similar situations like this to deal with in the future. However you handle this may help you work out similar problems later on.


Since you have realized you were in the wrong and have apologized seems to me to say that you are probably a very mature young lady.
The very fact that all of this is causing you anxiety and stress also says that you really want a good solution.
You also do not say how long before the party so we do not know if you still have a few days to find a solution but I hope you will discuss this with your best friend and try to work it out from that end instead of trying to find a 'reason' to tell your parents why you are not going to the party.

Since this seems to be something you have always liked doing - will your parents believe you if you tell them you are 'sick' and do not feel like going to the party?
This being said, please try to talk with your friend as she will have to come up with a reason to tell others why you are not at the party - does she want to tell them the truth or will she have to 'lie'?


What will she tell her parents? I guess I'm just trying to say that she will have to come up with 'reasons' you are not at the party just the same as you are having to do.

I hope you can work out a solution that sits well with you, your best friend and your parents.

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