Domestic ViolenceSelf Help

Dealing with a Spouse Who Drives Drunk

My. Husband drove with me and my son in his cab drunk. I had no clue, I sensed that he had alcohol on his breath before leaving the house, but he said that it wasn't alcohol so I believed him. We left with our 3 month old baby in the car and he was drunk and I didn't even notice! He was driving carelessly in the Walmart parking lot and almost hit a guy. He almost hit another guy at Starbucks and spilled a little hot coffee on his leg. I confronted him about it when I found the bottle of alcohol he had bought 2 days earlier. I could have sworn that it was full just that same morning and it was empty when I saw it after coming home and putting food away.


After asking him why he put our lives at risk, he said that he's a cab driver, he's been driving for years :( What the should I do? I said I would never get in his vehicle with him driving again. We were at Subway also, and he was interrupting me while I wad ordering my food. When we left I asked him why doesn't he have manners? He said that he doesn't have to show manners. I'm already having issues with this man, like arguing around our son. We don't get along most of the time. Please help.

By Noori

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September 4, 20130 found this helpful

Report him to his work and the police. Then take your precious kids that he obviously doesn't care about and leave. Period.


There is an old adage that says "When you bust the whore house you take the piano player too". That means that if you work for someone who is breaking the law, you are too.

Should this alcoholic hit the next person he almost hit before, you would never forgive yourself. That is not worth it, trust me on this.

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September 4, 20130 found this helpful

Call the cops on him next time or report him to his boss...don't continue to risk your life or that of your child. It isn't worth it! I know this is easier said than done, but there is help out there for you! He is abusive and dangerous!

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September 4, 20130 found this helpful

He's an alcoholic and not going to change until he admits that and chooses to change. Until then, he's going to continue putting you and any children you have in danger, and he's going to continue putting anyone else in the vicinity in danger, too.


I'm sorry, but the best thing is to leave. Now. Before he kills you, your child, or someone else and their child in a drunk driving wreck or in a fit of rage that escalates into violence against you and or your child.

It's hard to leave someone you love but an alcoholic who won't admit they have a problem, and who is 'ok' with drunk driving and being rude to you in public is an alcoholic who can easily slip over the edge and take you with him.

I know this because I've been there-done that. I was married to an alcoholic for over 18 years and over the years things became progressively worse. I finally left him in 1998 and it was the hardest, best thing I'd ever done.

My greatest regret is that I didn't do it sooner. Our son was 16 when his father finally 'pushed my last button' and it took MY son years to forgive me for waiting so long to get us out of there.


Don't take as long as I did unless you want to have a child who needs several years to get past the pain.

There is a 'happy ending' for me. My son and I are close again and have been for the past four years. And in I met a real Mr. Right, we celebrate our third wedding anniversary in Jan 2014. He's not an alcoholic, he's not verbally abusive, and if he's had one pint or a single lite cocktail he won't drive. It's wonderful.

Life is good again. As I said, I wish I'd left the drunk long before I did.

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September 4, 20130 found this helpful

The other posters have suggested quite drastic action. Have you tried talking to your husband about this when he is sober and sensible? Let him know that you and the children will not ride with him if he has been drinking. And then stick to that decision. Secondly, start attending Alanon meetings; this is a very useful organization that will help you deal with exactly these sorts of issues.


If this is the only problem that you have, it may not be necessary to leave your husband. That is fairly drastic action, and you may be able to resolve the situation. You may want to talk to his boss about this; workplace interventions are by far the best wakeup call for alcoholics. The threat of losing one's job is often what is needed for someone to realize they have a problem.

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September 4, 20130 found this helpful

Talk to him when he's sober! It sounds like that person has never lived with an alcoholic. Until they want to change and admit they have a problem, you can't talk to them about their drinking when they're sober, or stone drunk. The alcoholic can turn the conversation into something that he sees as your fault.


Crazy thing is, you start to believe it yourself. Get to Alanon. Calling his work is a very bad idea and won't accomplish a thing. If he happens to leave the house without you and the kids call the police and tell them where he's headed. A night in jail may same some lives.

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April 6, 20160 found this helpful

Why is it everyone thinks that talking to a alcoholic when they aren't drinking works . They choose this everyday and really don't care about anyone but their alcohol . I've tried and it has never never worked as he just makes excuses for his behavior mainly blaming others . The only thing that will get their attention is jail and even that will be short lived . They won't change until they see it as a problem and want to change it. You have no power in someone else's drinking . If they get behind the wheel call and report it . Let your local police know he's a alcoholic and he drives drunk with lic plate numbers and vehicle descriptions . If he kills someone their family can file a civil suit and take everything you and he have . Not worth it. I will continue to take drastic measures to protect me my family and others even if it's at the cost of my husband . If you choose the behavior you choose the consequence period . Talking won't work

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