Okay so there is this guy. I've known him for 5 years now. I've always really liked the kid, but he didn't know until two years ago. We were just best friends. Then two years ago he admitted to liking me back and from that we became closer. We've been through all of it, he's stuck by my side and tried to make me feel better as I have for him.
We've been on and off for the last 2 years and when we aren't together we act like we are, and are real lovey dovey with each other. And like I said we've been through it all together, breaking each others heart by being with some one else, or him doing something to upset me by choice of words and so forth. We always bounce back from that and we become stronger as a couple. He reminds me every day that I'm beautiful and that he loves me and one day it will be easier to be together. Now he lives two states away, which has also been a strain on our relationship, which is why we aren't together right now. He plans on coming up next year to see me.
He "knows" how I feel about him and he says he feels the same, but I don't think he really understands how I feel. It literally upsets me to the point where I bawl my eyes out when other girls post "I love you" on his wall and tags him in their pictures of themselves and flirt with him on Facebook. He does nothing about it.
I really wanna tell him how I feel, but I don't want to be pushy, or selfish, or lose him for that fact. But I really want him to know :/ Please help me. I know I'm still young, but it hurts a lot. And I don't know what to do about it or how to go about telling him.
By <3hollywoodundead<3 from Akron, OH
There is different kinds of love. You sound either awfully young or immature to be in any kind of relationship. I don't feel sorry for anybody that gets into these situations. I have a 20 year old grandaughter who walked out on an unhealthy relationship, and got pregnant by another guy and she keeps posting on facebook how badly she misses the former boyfriend and gets really upset when other girls post on facebook that they love him, etc. Myself I can't figure out who would love him, from the pictures I have seen. I keep telling her to quit posting all these "boo-hoo-hoo" comments on facebook, because all it does is feed his EGO, and it's her fault they aren't together. There is an old saying that goes something like this: If you love somebody/something set it free and if it is meant to be it will come back.
I am a grandmother and I am going to tell it to you like it is. He is dating other people and you should be also. You can care about him, but unless he agrees to be exclusive and one of you moves to the same place, this isn't much of a relationship.
I know very well how it feels to long for someone, but the fact is there are lots of "someones" out there and there is someone (else) for you. You can continue to be friends with him and see him on occasion, but don't delude yourself that this is a strong relationship, because it is not. Unless things change, that is.
I don't think it will serve any purpose to tell him how you feel about him. On some level he knows. Men are very perceptive about how a woman feels about them. I suggest you pull yourself up and start dating other people on a regular basis. You can still go out with him when he is available (if you are not exclusive with someone else). Just don't kid yourself or let yourself wait in the wings for him.
I agree with the Grandmothers post, this guy is having fun in other relationships as I see it. You are too important to be deceived like this.
Wrong relationships are so hurtful and can destroy a person. Tell yourself that you don't want to be hurt any longer OK
A Mother and Grandmother
Stay off of Facebook at least for awhile; you don't need to see what he's doing and saying with other girls. He's getting a real kick out of this and it's uping his ego big time. But being on Facebook is eroding your ego. He knows how you feel without your telling him. Get involved in something and prove to yourself as well as him that you're fine without him.
You're still young but learn to enjoy your own company. Take it from this other Grandmother, guys don't respect and admire needy and insecure girls. If you want to date other guys; do so but when they start acting like this guy you need to look the other way. I really hope you take the advice of all us older ladies on here; we're had our hearts broken and we can see where this is going.