I was not happy to find upon agreeing to help a friend move that not only would I be helping to move but to pack the stuff. She had no boxes and she is totally unorganized. I was not happy. I guess I should have guessed that this would happen again since the last time I helped her I put in 25 hours of packing.
By Lena
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This sounds to me like a case of live and learn. You state that you got into a similar situation with this friend once before. Next time, get more specific information before agreeing to help with a big task. Ask for details such as "Do you want help with the packing or just with the moving?" While I wouldn't expect people who helping me move to also help with the packing, this is obviously not the case with your friend.
Well, this does not really sound like a "responsible" friend but maybe they just do not "know any better" as my Mother used to tell me.
My son just went through this type of situation only he found out what was expected before hand and simply told them he would help with moving large items but packing was a "personal" thing and would have to be done on their own.
It depends on what your friend needs help with. It seems to me that since this happened before, you might have asked if it was just moving boxes or furniture, or if it was also packing. I have to say that when my relatives helped me move, I had an army of help and it was a blitz.
I just got home from two days of helping a friend pack, load the van, unload it into storage and drive her home from the van drop off. She wasn't even out of bed by the time I was there, when breakfast was suppose to be ready. It is very hot here right now, and we had to do the loading in the heat. She is going to be homeless as of the 5th for about 2.5-3.0 months till her housing gets the paperwork sorted out, so I am "so far" the only person who showed up when they said they would.
When I ask someone to help me move, the first thing I do is have the boxes packed, marked, and by the door. I have food and if I have any, money for the grandsons.
People who don't take good care of their helpers don't deserve them. I know that sounds harsh, but I am disabled, diabetic, have very little money for gas, and because I have time and am good at it, everyone expects me to "take over". Well, the poster is right. Find out what help is needed and offer what you have the stamina and time for.
This lady had months to prepare and now it's all a panic as she has till the 31st and you have no idea what she has stuffed in this apt. There is so much you have to walk down the halls sideways, and you can't even shut the bathroom door for all the beads, chimes, bells and over-the-door hooks on it.
So, a lack of planning on her part should not constitute an emergency on mine.
I think the request to move, may include anything,....everything. It is up to you to clarify what the specifics are in the request. A variety of individuals have a continuum of talents, abilities, skills, physical, emotional, mental, organizational, and lifting abilities. Making assumptions about the request is way off-base. You Know Not what is being asked for because you didn't find out. People who are totally adequate, competent, capable movers doing the project don't need to make any requests.
If her friendship is important to you, then help her. If not, maybe you can come up with an excuse and tell her you can help in a limited fashion.
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