Pet Travel and Visiting Etiquette?

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March 10, 2006

Dog on VacationI don't know how to start this without sounding rude or uncaring. Let me say first that I like dogs, our dog passed away just under a year ago. She was 12, a house dog.


Anyway, every time our neighbor lady stops over she assumes it's OK to just come in with her dog and to let him off his leash to run about and jump on the furniture and in my lap. I know she loves her doggie and he's all she has to keep her company. I'm happy for her on that account. But isn't it rude to take this all for granted at someone else's house? If I ever took my dog in it was after being invited or at least asking permission.

Her dog also sheds a bit, this offends me. How does she know we don't have allergies? Which we do, any advice?

P.S. She's a nice lady, I mean no offense to her!

Ariela from FL


Gold Feedback Medal for All Time! 696 Feedbacks
March 11, 20060 found this helpful
Best Answer

I agree, it's your home, you make the rules, there's no need for apologies! Some people don't even realize they are forgetting their manners - they love their animals and figure everyone else must too! If you tell her in a nice way that you have allergies and could she leave her dog home when she visits, that should solve the problem.


It might be awkward at first but it really sounds like the situation is bothering you, so you must do something about it asap!

By Claludia-MD (Guest Post)
March 13, 20060 found this helpful
Best Answer

I am a real dog lover, but I never assume that other people love my dogs aand want them around. I would never bring them to someone else's house unless they specifically asked me to. Unfortunately, the folks who tend to take such liberties tend to also be the folks who won't take subtle hints - they're just clueless/thoughtless about other people's needs. Just tell her, I love seeing you, but I would appreciate it if you left your dog at home. If you need an excuse, you could also say that it reminded you too much about the loss of your dog.

By Joe (Guest Post)
March 10, 20060 found this helpful

I think you are in luck. You have a pretty easy way to break it to her that she shouldn't bring her dog over. Just tell her that you, your husband, or both of you, are having a tough time with allergies and you would appreciate if she could try not bringing her dog over for a while to see if they clear up.


She probably will understand.

By Patsy (Guest Post)
March 10, 20060 found this helpful

I agree with Joe. If you don't want to just blurt it out, ask her over for lunch & ask if she'd mind leaving the dog home...tell her during the visit. Allergies should not be tampered with. Many people have died from allergic reactions & because you have a mild attack today, doesn't mean you won't have a major attack tomorrow, when your body decides it cannot handle any more. My friend's sister died this way. Good luck!


Diamond Feedback Medal for All Time! 1,317 Feedbacks
March 10, 20060 found this helpful

You have to be POINT BLANK with this person. I have 2 doggies that go with us most places however we do not presume everyone wants them in their homes or yards. I have seen people do this and I tried being subtle and no luck when I was direct and firm it was fixed. Don't apologize - it is your home!

March 12, 20060 found this helpful

I agree with everyone here. There is no excuse for rudeness even if the woman seems nice. It seems that many people think just because THEY love their pets, they assume everyone else does too!


If this woman is offended by your request to leave her dog at home when she visits then you have lost nothing but a rude neighbor.

By Baylee (Guest Post)
March 12, 20060 found this helpful

This is a trying time for the person who is afraid of hurting someone's feelings. I have a brother & sister in law that live about 4 hour drive from me. When they come they bring their dog. They look after the dog well but when they bring the dog back in after a walk they let the dog off the leash and wipe the dog's paws and then "Mugsy" runs through the house and up onto the couch. UGH The dogs paws are wiped but her fur is still wet. He has a really bad wet dog odor. Now my dear sister in law's mother died and she inherited her mother's dog. And when they come now it's 2 dogs. My brother is working right now for Bell down in NewOrleans for 12 weeks and I would love for her to come and visit for a week and we could go here and there shopping but I am reluctant because she would bring the dogs.


I am so afraid of hurting her feelings and she would get mad and then my brother & her would not come back to visit. I have heard more stories of the same situations where it backfired the wrong way. Especially relatives! People are rude (unconciously)when they bring their pets uninvited.
And it is dumb people like me who can't say anything or stand up for themselves that are taken advantage of. You go girl. If she is offended you've only lost a rude neighbor friend.

March 13, 20061 found this helpful

It is tough to talk to family members about sensitive issues but you must stand your ground and be firm but gentle. You could tell your sister-in-law that you would be more than happy to help her pay to put her dogs in a kennel either in your town or hers.


If she balks at this, then just tell her the truth. She may not speak to you for awhile but that will probably pass if you tell her that you really don't want dogs in your house. Good luck.

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