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Procrastinating On Our Priorities

POOPING: Procrastinating on our Priorities is never good.

We often think we have more time than we really do. No one knows what tomorrow brings or if we even have one. So, we think "I should do that" or " I will do it tomorrow".

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Then, time goes by and the effects of waiting can run from irritating to devastating. Cars run out of oil. Bills don't get paid. Cupcakes get bought instead of made. Appointments are never met. People get ignored.

For some, planning ahead is not a concept they can understand much less relate to. Setting things out the night before, giving yourself some wiggle room in the morning is for sissies!

So this is what I have learned about "poopers"

When you show up late, every...single...time, you don't have much respect for the people you keep waiting. They got there on time, maybe even early. But your schedule is always more important than theirs so you show up, with or without an excuse, late.

Cars really don't run on air. Except for tires, that is. They need maintaining and when they don't get it, they are just like every other thing that might be ignored. They stop running.

Is that ice forming on the inside of your freezer getting smaller? When will that stack of magazines you haven't read fall over? How much money will those ill-insulated windows cost you? Is that broken step on the porch going to be a potential hazard long enough for someone to get hurt?

Sometimes we get a bit behind on the bills. But not contacting them right away is not the answer. They will always work with you.

Appointments are not guidelines. They need to be met or everyone after you is set back. That's not fair to them. Now there are times when the bus is late or the traffic is an issue. But, when you start out early, those things are exceptions and not the rules.

If you know ahead of time that you volunteered for cupcakes or other school functions, plan ahead of time. Make sure you have the ingredients and carve out some time to make them. Buying them is fine too, esp' if you aren't a baker. Just don't do it because you forgot.

Don't even get me started on homework or office documents that are due. I love being early with things so I don't stress. It's kind of like eating a veggie you hate so you can get to the good stuff!

The questions I am positing here might be theoretical, but you get the point.

But the worst thing that people do is when it comes to people. They should be a priority above all others. Sadly, that isn't always the case.

I know a young man who's 'dads' can't be bothered showing up when promised. Now this wonderful, talented and smart young man wonders what he did wrong. Why he wasn't good enough to love or even spend time with.
As a result, he will not have children of his own.

The answer is he did absolutely nothing wrong. And he is good enough. He just didn't have any man who wanted to step up and make him a priority.
They were Poopers in the truest sense of the word.

You might wonder why I am writing this? It is not about the freezer, the car, the cupcakes or the appt. It's about people. It's about him. It's about me.

I grew up in a very dysfunctional family. It was more important to have a little "something" for your coffee than it was to have milk for your kid. Getting money any way you could was more important than making a home where your kid could go to 1 school instead of 33. Having fun was more important than being with your frightened daughter the night she had her tonsils out. Taking off for a quick vacation was more important than being with your daughter when she turned 16.

Procrastination was their mantra and model by which they lived. To say their priorities were out of sync was a gross understatement. To never make your child feel like they mattered more than anything never even entered their minds.

So when I became a mom, I vowed I would do better. I think I did. And she did with her son. We made mistakes for sure, but at no time did she or he ever think they weren't our highest priority.

I would like to go back in time and shake some people till their heads rattle. This precious person in your life is there for a reason. Stop wasting your trivial things and start paying attention to them.

My advice is simple. Think of your priorities. If they aren't in sync please prioritize them. Cars will run better, you won't be overdue or late for appointments, etc. And your kids will like you better.

Then you won't be a POOPER!

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March 30, 20181 found this helpful

Well said!!! I totally agree and wish everyone would realize this before it is too late and the damage is done.

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March 30, 20181 found this helpful

Thanks. Too often people realize too late what matters. And yes, the damage is then done.

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March 30, 20181 found this helpful

Excellent, excellent article. Well thought out. So good that i've already passed it on to friends and family. And I'm so glad to put a face on the person whose posts I've been reading for so long. Thanks for the pic.

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As an aside to you Sandi: Just looked at your profile for the first time. You've got me beat! I only went to 16 schools and I've only lived in 10 states plus Canada and I just moved to Mexico a year ago. (Lived in Salem too.) I'm not sorry for all the moving around. I figure that we've gained from that - widened our horizons.

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April 2, 20180 found this helpful

Thanks for the lovely comments. I wish I had gone to less schools and had a stable home. If we had been nomads for a good reason, then maybe. I missed having friends I could have for more than three months.

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March 31, 20180 found this helpful

Im recently divorced and have Always always always put my 2 children first. I dont think they realize this. Maybe not until theyre older ? That doesnt matter right now. Now Im lost. Thats the best way I could describe the feeling.

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Overwhelmed and lost. Especially when my son is with his dad. I know this is the time I need to discover who I am. But its been so long that my children were the priority.... its truly hard and sometimes almost unbearable.

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April 1, 20180 found this helpful

You said recently divorced. It's a devastating time. But it will get better, Lori. I promise you. I have some suggestions if you don't mind. Go get a new hairdo. Buy a new outfit. Talk to friends. If you don't have any, get some. Go out. Spring is here and there will be places to go, festivals and museums and concerts. Go and talk to people. Volunteer, join a group. What didn't you do before that you couldn't? Do you like to paint and didn't?

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Then paint. Whatever your interests are. And here's a silly thing I did. There are so any things you don't do because of husbands or children. For instance, you like sardines but didn't eat them because your husband thought it was gross? Well, now you can if you want to. I went around saying, "I can if I want to" all the time. It's freeing! And you're free now - to be and do whatever pleases you, whatever brings you joy. And don't worry about the kids. They'll figure it all out when they're older. Mine did.

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April 2, 20180 found this helpful

You are so right. Thanks for the good advice. Sometimes being lost isn't a bad thing. You can then be found. You can find things that make you happy, just like this smart reader suggested.

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Take an art or cooking class, even if it's on line. Watch tutorials on the computer for things you never had time to do before. If you own your home, paint! New fresh starts are scary but they are good for the soul. Throw those curtains back and let in the sun. Go for a walk or find friends to go with.
So you love to read? Go to the library and go crazy. Or join an audio book club and listen while you do other things.
Life is never unbearable. Sometimes we think things are bad and they can be. But you survived divorce and you can survive the aftermath of it. Just remember this for you: The only difference between a rut and a grave is the length".
Remember this for your kids: We give our children only two things. One is roots and the other is wings".
You got this!!

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April 1, 20180 found this helpful

I wish I could learn to focus on the positive.It seems the things I worry about the most end up happenning,car breaks down among other things,stress in relationships ...Need to get out of that cycle. Expect the best but prepare for the worst LOL

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April 1, 20180 found this helpful

Brilliant!!! Thank you for reminding all of us to not be POOPERS!!

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April 1, 20180 found this helpful

Yes! Yes! Yes!
Marg

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April 3, 20180 found this helpful

Thanks for all the kudos. Sometimes we forget that is important till it's too late.
I had a dear friend in San Diego, that I had known for 40 years. Life took priority over keeping in touch and once I did, she had been gone 5 months. Never again.

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