Does any one have experience with a behavioral therapy called "The Total Transformation" by James Lehman? Someone recommended it for me for working with my kids and I'm wondering about it's creditability. There is a free trial, but those things always seem to have a catch. The write up about the program sounds too good to be true.
Arlinn from NY
I looked into it a little online. I used to be a supervisor for a girls' grouphome and am always interested in new ideas (our grouphome girls were very defiant and emotionally disturbed).
Anyway, the program looks like they use a method called "cognitive behavioral therapy", which is what we used and it works well. It is more than a therapy and can be used by parents. We raised our two children with it and they are doing well and we have a great relationship with them. Best of luck to you.
I would recommend any books by William Glasser. He explains Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and how to use it. It would be much cheaper and you can see if you like it. His books are in most libraries.
I have never heard of the above mentioned program, but I do recommend "Love and Logic". Their books give hands on practical ideas for how to deal with lots of different situations at all different ages. They also have programs for teachers. There are schools that teach their teachers how to use these easy, non confrontational methods for changing inappropriate behavior. Their web site is: loveandlogic.com
Good luck. (01/17/2009)
My best friend bought it for my husband and me, as it was very expensive, and we are going through a lot with my 15 year old daughter. She has had depression, and has all but dropped out of school. We've done therapy and meds, but if you don't take the therapist's advice she's defiant, doesn't help out at home at all, and will just shut down and go to sleep all day. She can also be nasty and is verbally (and we think physically) abusive to her younger 11 year old sister.
I think that it's a good program. I checked into some independent reviews online (Google, TT, and see what you can find) and I asked our therapist. I think it's on the up and up, but it's done rather oddly. You watch a boring DVD, then you listen to audio CDs, and follow-up by working in a workbook. It's expensive, but the info is good. If anything, it's bringing my husband and I to work together as a team to give our daughter "tough love" and not stand for the manipulative behavior.
Mostly I think we've been doing whatever we feel (tired and exhausted mostly) and caving in. We have not finished it, but what I do really like are the emailed newsletters with articles and forums for parents to post what's driving them crazy about their kids. I guess the counselors do respond, but I've never asked a direct question yet. But the newsletter site lets you look up a bunch of topics like defiance, or violence, or what to do with a grown-up kid who's still not taking responsibility, and I find it helpful to read all of them.
Books just take a long time to sort out exactly what you are looking for. I do get tired of all the self-promotion on the website and especially the DVD that just keeps stating how it's changed their whole life.
I can't say it's done that yet, but I'm hoping. (02/05/2009)
By Deeda in Seattle
I do agree that one needs to be careful especially when things sound too good to be true.
However, I do know of many parents who had tried the Total Transformation Program and are pleased with the results. There were a handful who said it didn't work for them. For those who said that it didn't work, they were mostly with kids that are under 7 years old. My rationale is that younger kids go through more "delta" in their development and it may be that their "defiant phase" may go away as they grow older.
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