Sharing Expenses with a Boyfriend

I have been living with my boyfriend now for 2 years. I went thru a divorce 2 years ago after a 20 year marriage which my ex and I have two children from. My daughter is 20 now and my son is 17. When I moved to this town after my divorce I had an apartment and met my now bf. We dated about 2 months and then he begged me to move in because he loved me so much. He has 3 kids. They are 12, 11, and 2 now. The youngest was only 3 months old when we met.


About a month after I moved in his new child support took affect and the two oldest kids' mom had her child support reassessed. He says he didn't know, but I find that hard to believe. To make a long story short he went from bringing home $500.00 a week to now only bringing home $120.00 a week. His rent is $800.00 a month and cell phones are $200.00 and the grocery bill is outrageous. At the time I didn't mind helping out so much because I felt bad for him. Then that year for Xmas I bought it all, then birthdays, then all the time. My ex and I have shared custody of our son, but he is the residential parent due to school. He doesn't live far away so I see him every day.

Anyways my bf then started to get upset that I drive to see my son every day. Then he started bringing up how we didn't have money to pay for my son's phone, I can't travel and see my daughter because of bills and he thinks it is not a necessity. As of last week he got fired from his job! Now that leaves me to pay everything. He didn't bring home much before, but at least it paid one bill a month. The rental contract is not in my name. Neither are the bills. I bought his car. And I just bought his oldest kids new TVs and game systems. But no matter what I do or how much I work, he still complains about the amount of money I give my son on a monthly basis. Which honestly is way less than what child support would be. Please any help on the matter or insight would be great. Thank you.
-Feeling used and alone.


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October 25, 20152 found this helpful

Your sign off, "feeling used and alone" describes exactly the "relationship" you have with this "boy" "friend". This boy has clearly finagled you into giving him exactly what he wants, while giving you nothing.

This boy will continue his bamboozling as long as you are willing to dance to his tune. You must find a way to quickly and carefully remove yourself from this extremely unfair and psychologically damaging situation. Leave him with his bills and find yourself a new and rewarding life!!!

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October 26, 20152 found this helpful

There is only one way to solve this problem. Move out. You will certainly not be any the worse off. You have been supporting this freeloader for two years. You can`t get that back, but you can move on with your life. No one who loved you would take such advantage of you and carp about the money you earn that you spend on your own children.


I think you know that you have been imposed on and taken advantage of, and know that you should move out. Rent an apartment, pack your bags, get a girlfriend or a relative to help you move out any furniture that is yours, and consider it a lucky escape. At least you didn`t marry this bum.

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October 27, 20151 found this helpful

As the others stated, 'MOVE OUT', or you will find yourself with absolutely nothing [and you are almost there]. I know this is probably none of my business, but he having 3 kids with the youngest being 3 months when you met would have been the red flag for me, especially when your children are almost fully grown. Also, I don't like the sound of his 'getting upset that you drive to see your son every day; don't have money to pay for YOUR son's phone; can't travel to see your daughter because of bills and HE thinks it is not a necessity'.


One saving point in your favor, the rental agreement and bills are in HIS name, so you can walk away free and clear rather than trying to get him out of your place. Run from this situation as fast as you can - you are getting nothing from this "relationship", except money problems that you have to solve.

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