Sharing Mortgage Expenses with a Partner

Should I contribute to my partner's mortgage if his house is going to his four kids when he dies? We are getting married and he wants a pre-nup that says his kids get the house, yet I am contributing and could be for years. Or should I just be paying my half?


By Denise L

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October 18, 20130 found this helpful

You will have to do what you think you want but if it were me, I would never agree to that unless you contributed nothing to the house to begin with or will ever be contributing anything. When my husband and I married a year ago, we both had families that had flown the nest but he wanted his children to inherit the bulk of his estate. So when we bought the house, he has a stipulation in it that I could live here even if he dies and as long as I am alive. He also pays for all household expenses so I guess I am lucky. We are both in our 70's.

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October 18, 20130 found this helpful

I would be very, very careful here. I don't know what the laws are in your country so it would be good to speak to a lawyer if you can but has it occurred to you that when your soon-to-be spouse dies you could actually be homeless even after contributing for years towards the mortgage of the house?


I personally hardly think its fair. Is it property would belong to your stepchildren, you have free use and enjoyment of the house during your lifetime? If he refuses, then perhaps you need to take a closer look at your relationship with him. Sorry to be so blunt but I was burnt in a similar way and after contributing a lot of money over a period of years, I ended up with nothing at all.

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October 19, 20130 found this helpful

I think you need to consult with a lawyer of your own about this. It certainly doesn't seem fair to me to contribute to the cost of the house, and then not have any ownership of it when your spouse dies. There may be some justification if the house is mostly paid for, and you are not contributing much. However, it seems to me that if he is asking you to help pay for the house, and you will be out on your ear should he die before you do, that this is not fair. I would not sign such a pre-nup.

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October 20, 20130 found this helpful

Lousy deal for you! Don't pay a penny toward that house, but instead open a savings account in your name only and contribute monthly. You'll need it when he dies and leaves you homeless. I'm thinking you two need some serious counseling before you make a commitment to him.


I would personally be insulted if a man tried to make a deal like that with me. Fortunately, I've been married for 43 years to a wonderful man who would never treat me like that. Think about it, please.

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