Is Planning Your Own Birthday Party Tacky?

I decided to plan my own 30th birthday party next year because I want to make sure it's really special and exactly what I want. But I have received a lot of feedback that planning my own party would be tacky. The more I think about it the more it bothers me. Is it really that bad?


I just don't think anyone else has the time or energy to plan a party for me like I would want and I want it to be a perfect day. My mom is disabled, my boyfriend is not the party planner kind of guy, and my friends are all busy with work and their own lives. What should I do?

Gratefulbree from VA

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October 24, 20081 found this helpful

I don't think so. Now, planning your party and asking for gifts, that's tacky. And planning your party under the notion that "it's all about me", that would be tacky. But done in the right way, planning your own party is fine.


I would say that if the invitations expressed something like you wanted to share this special day with your closest friends; that's kind of the tone you want to go into it with. The key word is "share". Instead of letting people think that you're giving them an opportunity to make you special, making a point of turning it around and making people feel that it's all about you're wanting to be with them and using your birthday as an opportunity for them to have some fun would be important.

It's kind of like a bride planning her own wedding. On the invitations, it sometimes says, "the bride and groom want to share this special day with you",

But if you still think it's tacky, "hire" a trusted friend to be your birthday coordinator. That way you get want you want and aren't the one asking for your own gifts.

October 24, 20080 found this helpful

Not as long as you buy your own presents! I'M JUST KIDDING! This is a thrifty way to amuse myself during this brutal financial crash.


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October 24, 20080 found this helpful

As long as you don't ask for presents it's fine. Tell your friends 30 is a milestone birthday and you want to share it with them. For a nice touch give your friends the presents(home baked goodies or dollar store trinkets are fine).


Or ask your friends to bring a toy or canned goodds for some charity -- takes the "me" out of the celebration.

October 24, 20080 found this helpful

Sometimes if we don't do it, it just won't get done. That's how it goes around here.

By Linda. (Guest Post)
October 27, 20080 found this helpful

It is a great way to have a fun party, as long as you don't ask people to help or pay for stuff. If they offer, tho, I would graciously accept and say something like-only if you consider it the only present I can possible accept! Don't make this about getting gifts for YOU-I love the idea of gifts or donations, if people wish to do so, to charities like toys or food for shelters or homeless.


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October 27, 20080 found this helpful

Hey, why didn't I think of that? You've got a great idea and a great attitude about this "milestone" birthday. Why not make it a "pitch-in" party, and let your friends be even more involved by bringing party foods and helping with the cleanup afterwards?

October 27, 20080 found this helpful

Plan the party...people will come and enjoy it and you will have what you want. I don't think it is children all helped me plan their birthdays so we would have the decorations, cake and games just like they wanted them:)


Happy Birthday!

October 27, 20080 found this helpful

It's your party, you can plan if you want to.
I think it's a great idea, I plan my own parties, if I waited for anyone else to do it I'd never get one.
However, do accept any and all help offered, but don't be afraid to say "I would love it if you could bring this side dish" and give them the recipe or ask for a special dish that they make. You are the party planner, you plan, they expedite, that way everyone is happy.

By Carol in PA (Guest Post)
October 28, 20080 found this helpful

No, its not tacky. We should all learn to celebrate our own birthdays. (smile) It's a form of celebrating ourselves. I was taught by a woman much older than myself to always buy myself a present as well. That way you always get what you want. As you mature (get old), you'll find there are fewer and fewer people to celebrate with. So it's good to know how to not be depressed about it.


I think its not only perfectly normal for you to plan your own party, but I applaud you for thinking of it. (grin)

Have fun on your special day.


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October 28, 20080 found this helpful

Go for it! If you don't you will always regret it. Maybe the people who told you it was tacky are jealous?

By .ellie (Guest Post)
October 29, 20080 found this helpful

No way is it tacky! A few years ago my friend Cate had her 70th birthday. Cate never married or had children, and her relatives live interstate, so she planned her own party. She made it an afternoon party at her home, she has a large garden too, and luckily it was a fine day she has a summer birthday.


She invited friends from all walks of life, from her early years when she was involved with a lot of different community groups, right up to newer friends. She arranged a photo board and although she didn't ask anyone to bring food, or gifts, they nearly all did! It was a lovely afternoon, fun, friendly, relaxed, Elegant rather than tacky!

By (Guest Post)
October 29, 20080 found this helpful

Thank you so much for all the kind feedback! I feel much better about it all now. I decided to go ahead with the planning but ask a friend to help a little bit. And my boyfriend said he would pay for everything so it looks like I'm all set! I got the most beautiful dress to wear that day too. I'm stoked! THANK YOU!!!

October 29, 20080 found this helpful

Who says planning your own Birthday party is tacky? In fact it is fun! I planned my own Birthday party when I was 21 because I wanted something really special and only wanted to invited friends I really can enjoy spending that special day with. I had lots of fun. In fact, my close friends and family members throw in a surprise for me, they bought me an expensive Swiss automatic watch which I still wear and keep until today (I'm a mother of two now!)


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November 1, 20080 found this helpful

When your special day comes around, and you put on that perfect gown, please take some photos and share them with us!!

We each have 364 least according to Tigger!! I think it's a wonderful idea! In fact, I will be 55 in 13 months, and I think I will do it myself! My friends have always "got me" with surprise parties at the ten year mark, so I might do it myself at the "five year mark"!!

By Kesha (Guest Post)
November 11, 20080 found this helpful

I plan and host my own party every year! My friends look so forward to it. I pick a local restaurant send out an invites, wear my tiara and give out party bags. Guest pay for their own food. This year because of the economy I had it at McDonald - complete with the Hamburglar! I had over 30 adults and 10 kids! So no it is not tacky - be the princess and have a blast!

September 24, 20190 found this helpful

How do you reassure that they will pay for their own food? My party coming up soon and in a this predicament

January 26, 20090 found this helpful

I think that is a cool idea! and for all of the people who said you shouldnt ask for presents ?on your other birthdays do you ask for presents or do people just bring you one cause it's your birthday? I think 9 times out of 10 people will automatically bring you a gift weather you planned the party or didnt your birthday still comes every year! lol! amke little thank you party favors to give out at the end to say thank you for coming & celebrating with you.30 is a big deal and if you can do the party yourself why not? have a great time! take loads of's fun to look back on later.good luck!


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June 13, 20100 found this helpful

Gee, I'm 70 and have never had a birthday party in my life. My folks couldn't afford to have a bunch of people in for parties. I always had a homemade cake and ice cream and got presents. Between my parents and aunts and uncles I never missed having a big blast. My former in-laws never made a big deal over birthdays either. To some people it is just another day.

When my daughters were young I had a 10th birthday party for them, inviting the girls in their grade. Then when they were 16 we had a party, inviting friends from their church youth group. They played board games, had sloppy joes, chips, kool aid, cake and ice cream. There wasn't a a theme for either of these parties. I really think having a party every year is over-kill. I have never missed having a birthday party. There are things when I think back that I wish I would have had, but birthday parties aren't among those things.

February 8, 20170 found this helpful

This year in a matter weeks I will be turning 46 Years Old. And would love to have a Birthday Party. Since I haven't had a Party since High School. 28 Years Ago. Would it be Tacky to throw myself a party??

August 8, 20180 found this helpful

I just cant believe im turning 49! My son promised me a teddybear that says love you mom so 49 is pretty great! God Bless America! I hope I win! Thank you Lisa D. Purcell 8/8/2018

October 23, 20190 found this helpful


February 11, 20200 found this helpful

I'm turning 60. My husband and oldest daughter asked me what I wanted. My birthday is still two months away, so I told them I'm thinking about it. Shortly after that, I decided what I wanted. My husband had already mentioned something to our daughter in another state, about coming for my birthday with the grandkids. I wanted to go to a taping of Battle Bots with them. The older daughter is trying to take me to a concert. I miss my daughter and grandchildren every day, and taking them to the battle bots would be a blast, they love it too. But now, if I say that, I'm being made to feel selfish. And my oldest generally tries to do things that she thinks I should like. Well, I'm turning 60, darn it, and I want to watch battle bots with my grandchildren. I don't think I'm being selfish.

August 2, 20200 found this helpful

Considering the fact that so many people ask this question, the answer is yes.


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