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Joke - Raising Boys - 24 Key Points to Ponder

Category Jokes

a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny. (AMEN!)

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d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.ft. house 4 inches deep.

2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with Roller blades, they can ignite.

3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all Four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.

5.) When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
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6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh," it's already too late.

8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.

10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.

11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.

12.) Super glue is forever.

13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.

14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15.) VCR's do not eject "PB and J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
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17) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.

20.) The fire department in La Mesa, CA has a 5-minute response time.

21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.

22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.

23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

25.) Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or without kids.

By April

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By guest (Guest Post)
August 4, 20050 found this helpful

Oh my God!These are so true.LOL

Reply Was this helpful? Yes
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August 4, 20050 found this helpful

I'm expecting my first grandson September 1, and I sent this along to my daughter-in-law as soon as I read it. How true, how funny and how it takes me back!

TerryfromChilliOH

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By guest (Guest Post)
August 5, 20050 found this helpful

AAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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By guest (Guest Post)
August 8, 20050 found this helpful

I don't have any kids and I do really think they are funny...I really mean the way it is said...

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By guest (Guest Post)
August 27, 20050 found this helpful

Those were great, and definately true, I live with four younger sibblings, and I will pass this on.

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July 16, 20090 found this helpful

Lol my son is three and this is still funny. Its a warning and a joke at the same time!

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March 15, 20110 found this helpful

Ah, raising boys, yep, yep, yep! I remember the days. And I miss them still!
CindyM

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