Here are the questions asked by community members. Read on to see the answers provided by the ThriftyFun community.
If my brother has a power of attorney and in the will it said our parents house has to be sold, do all siblings need to agree on selling price or can the person with the POA sell it for whatever price he wants?
By Jennie from Victoria, BC
I don't know about the legalities of it; but am struck by the dilemma your family is facing. Before you say anything to the brother with POA or your other siblings, bear in mind that families can fracture over such situations. You will need to decide if a few thousand dollars (or less, split many ways) is worth losing family relations over. Sometimes, once the glue that held the family together (your parents) is gone, it is far too easy to lose the relationship with siblings. I don't mean to sound preachy; but just wanted to throw a reminder your way, during a tough time. Good luck to you all.
I hope you read this. POA ENDS with the person's death. The administrator takes over and the will is probated. If your brother is also the administrator you may live in a state that requires a lawyer to assist him.
Did you mean POA or did you mean your brother is executor of the will? It makes a difference to your question.
I think you should also heed Jilson's points. This is the sort of situation that could possibly create hard feelings for years. My ex's family has drifted apart over the years since his mom passed away and small resentments simmer under the surface that prevent them from being as close as they should be.
My husband is in jail and his mother passed. She left him her power of attorney and he is her only child. Is the responsibility on me as his wife to make sure everything is taken care of?
While my elder sister has never been a real sister to me since I was very young, she has not stopped short of being really mean spirited to me for years in any capacity that she could.
She holds POA for my mom; both live in Florida. My mom divorced my father and moved to Florida about 18 years ago when she retired at the age of 70. I live in Connecticut. Since my mom moved to an assisted living facility 4 years ago, my sister has done everything possible to interfere with my ability to communicate with my mom.
Examples: 1) when my mother changed rooms within the facility and was assigned a new phone number at the facility, my sister not only refused to share that information with me, but actually blocked me from getting it from the assisted living facility. I called the police and they said I have to hire an attorney. 2) When my mother fell and broke her hip bone and the artificial hip she had, the day after my mom's surgery, she went off on a cruise, leaving my mother alone. After 2 to 3 weeks of recovery Mom was transported to a therapy center to recover, my sister refused to tell me where she was sent after repeated requests and my mother telling her to communicate that to me. I had to call all the facilities in the area for 3 days to find my own mother. 3) I now have learned from my younger sister that my elder sister (POA) has not started taking my mail that I send to my mother and has not given it to her. I do not know if she will. The mail is letters to my mom from her mom over 60 years ago, which my mother has been waiting for now for 2 weeks. She has nothing like that from her mom.
While I understand she (POA) does not need to communicate things about my mother, she has successfully blocked my ability to get any information about my mom's health, send her mail, and get information if she moves to a hospital or even if her phone number changes. I can only imagine that she will now change my mom's telephone number so I cannot have access to speak with her anymore. When I visited my mom a few months ago, we tried to add my name to the assisted living facility roster so I can get even updated contact information about my mom, and even my mom has been blocked from changing this because a few years ago she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease.
Please help if there are any other options without going through a very costly court battle which I cannot afford. My mom is 89 this year and is not well. She may not have another year left.
Thank you so much!
My brother, who was incarcerated, asked me to be his POA. He is now out on parole and is still asking me to do things on his behalf. As POA am I a target if anything goes wrong?
For example, bad business dealings on his part. I am helping him somewhat financially and do not want to be part of any bad dealings.That is an excellent question, Crystal, and good for you being mindful of potential (negative) repurcussions!
Does your city have a lawyer referral service? It's usually a way for newly-minted attorneys to get clients, but in so doing they offer 1/2 hour free consultation.
My mother died 9 months ago, she was in a car accident had a few strokes, had diabetes and was bed ridden for 4 years. In the mean time, my sister obtained power of attorney and moved money around and even destroyed a will that was in a drop box at a local bank. My sister took $67,000.00 and bought a forclosure home right out in Arizona, she put the house in her daughter's name and grandkids names. She also moved money from one bank to another and out to a bank to Arizona which has my sister's daughter's name on it, the amount we are talking about is 1 million dollars.
My sister made a will but my mom refused to sign it and my sister's lawyer refuses to send copy. Is their any thing I can do about any of this since she did buy a house with our moms money while my mom was still alive and then took both properties and all the money that my mom had already had divided out?If you have not already contact an attorney regarding this, you definitely should so do now! This financial and legal situation is complicated and there are no easy answers for your questions.
My sister went to her attorney and got a POA on our mother and she never discussed with me. The only way I found out was that she let it slip out of her mouth. I was shocked, I was really hurt by this. I know my mom has Alzheimer's, but I asked my mom did she sign any papers and she yes, but she didn't know what she signed.
I just don't know why my sister did this. It is only the two of us and I am the oldest. What can I do about this?Difficult and awkward situation! You do not explain exactly what type of power of attorney your sister has. There are both financial and medical powers of attorney and each state varies in requirements. The fact that you are the oldest child makes no difference in POAs.
I suggest you discuss your situation with your attorney to decide the best action to take now. As your mother has Alzheimer's and may not remember exactly what she signed will be an important fact in your favor.
My husband is in jail and needs a criminal defense attorney. The property is only in his name and he wants me to try to sell it. He wants to give me POA so I can try to sell it.
How would I go about doing this?
You need to talk to a lawyer who handles POA's. Usually an estate lawyer would be well-versed in this kind of thing.
My mother-in-law got a POA for her brother after he was hit by a car. He gets a disability check every month. When he got out of the hospital, he moved in with my mother-in-law and father-in-law. After 3 months they had to put him in a nursing home, because he was getting violent. Now that he is in a nursing home his insurance pays for his stay, so his disability check will still be coming in each month.
My father-in-law strongly belives that they are able to spend his money just because he can't. I told him it doesn't matter if he can't spend it, it doesn't give you the right to spend it either. That my mother-in-law can spend it on things he needs and that's it.I suggest that your mother and father in law meet with an attorney to discuss and understand exactly what the POA is, what it means, exactly what they can spend the disability money on legally, etc. If they are not able to account for any, ANY, disability money spent on items that were not for your mother in law's brother, they will be in for a nasty and costly surprize.
I have a medical POA for my father. Can my family come into my home and take my father and put him in a home when I disagree?
By Anna
Strongly suggest you immediately consult with an attorney to understand your responsibilities as POA and what your family legally can and can not do.
I have taken care of my mother's finances since my dad passed away 21 years ago. Only recently I became POA for her finances. I gave up the POA to my sister after we fought. I was told that I have to account for all checks made out to me (they were for her meds and living expenses that I paid for and then got reinbursed for). Do I need to go back 21 years or just as far as when I became financial POA?
By Marie
You were told that - who told you? Was it your sister? Find out who is actually requiring this and ask them. If it's just your sister, ignore her. She's been enough trouble already.
My friend's daughter has the POA for her. However, the daughter just recently went to the bank where the account was and moved the money out of my friend's account and started a new account in her name. Is that legal? First off, my friend had no knowledge until it was too late. My friend had already spoken to multiple employees of the bank days prior to this incident, attempting to get her money secured for the time being while she was in the process of getting her daughter removed as her POA. Well, after multiple employees told her how to secure her money, that next day her daughter was still able to walk in there withdraw the money and start a new account in the daughter's name.
How is this possible? The daughter doesn't think what she's doing is a crime, because she is more or less trying to say that it's her money. I also noticed on one of your answers it says that a POA is supposed to use the money entirely on the person they are acting for. Well, from my understanding, the daughter has already spent a good majority of the money on her personal bills such as rent, etc. Altogether she probably has spent a little over 20 grand on all of these personal matters. Anyways, this is illegal right?By Lacey
Your friend should immediately talk to an attorney who specializes in POAs about the specific language of your friend's POA, the daughter's activity and what your friend can do now.
This could be considered elder abuse if your friend is a senior. Contact the authorities in this case. Also report it on the FBI website under their section on elder financial fraud.
My husband is incarcerated and he has at least 6 homes that his dad has been taking care of, a system that has been working. Now his dad brought POA papers to my husband requesting he sign them, he didn't. My husband wrote a simple letter giving him power as overseer of the property, that's it! He had it notarized. Well his dad is really pushing this POA and I'm starting to question his motives. My question is why isn't the letter enough; why keep pushing for POA?
By Kelly R
Why are you not chosen as the POW? Is your name on any deeds? Are these properties that your husband obtained before your marriage? Why do you not speak to Dad about why he wants POW?
I agree with the prior responder-something is fishy here. There is a big legal difference between a simple letter and a formal POA. Do you have ownership in the properties? If so, why are you not the POA? Have you discussed your concerns with your father-in-law?
Appears you need to check with an attorney to clarify the situation and protect your husband's and your interests in the properties. You can try legal aid and other free and reduced fee legal resources in your area.
Your husband must not sign anything with his father until you speak with an attorney.
I do not believe anyone here can really help you with this as legal representation is what you need. A simple notarized letter granting your father-in-law as "overseer" of property does not give him very much legal control - not like a POA would.
Is your name on any of the property?
If not - why?
It seems for sure that your father-in-law wants more control than just "looking" after the property so it would be wise for you to try to protect what may be yours(?) and your husbands property.
You probably will not qualify for free legal services but you should try to find an attorney who is familiar with this type of situation.
I am my father's POA, he has been drinking to 300+ blood alcohol levels and as he begins to sober he starts again. Can I commit him?
By JM from Des Moines, IA
That sounds a little harsh to just commit him. Could you not try to get him to an AA meeting or talk about rehabilitation first? If you love your father I am sure you wouldn't want him going into an institution where it might be too traumatic for him to cope with. He may deteriorate very quickly if you just abandon him like that.
Think about different options first. Seek advise from AA. There is a specific community set up to help loved ones of alcoholics.
Emotions and familial duty aside, your father is continuing to drink and is a hazard to himself and all other people if he drives, uses kitchen and other appliances, etc., while intoxicated. I suggest you immediately discuss the possible legal ramifications of commiting or not commiting him as you are the POA.
No you cannot. Power Of Attorney, either for financial or health care, means that you can make decisions in the event your father cannot. It is not up to you to decide that he cannot. Only a court can do that as you are not yet his guardian. Call the probate court where your father lives and inquire about obtaining guardianship. His physician will have to fill out a bucket of paperwork, a court social worker usually must meet your father, and then a judge or magistrate will hold a hearing.
In most states, your father must be notified and has the right to attend and speak for himself. The judge will try to determine if he is a danger to himself or others, but even that 'danger to self' thing is tricky as the law gives folks the right to live as we choose. Usually this probate court process is not very expensive and any doc who has older patients has seen this kind of thing before. Good luck to you! (PS I am an eldercare social worker in Ohio.)
Is there supervision of the person to whom I give a POA to transfer my money, which is in the bank, to me? So he might not keep the money himself?
By M H.
Everyone should be very, very careful who they give a POA to as once it is done, it is very difficult to "undo".
There is more than one "type" of POA and is best handled through an attorney. Even giving a full control POA to one of your children may not always be a good idea.
A POA (just has to be notarized) that gives full power does not have anyone to oversee what they do with your money, property, even your own personal things can be in jeopardy. So - please - use only an attorney that has to be notified when the POA is used. A POA can be a dangerous thing - or - a good thing so be very careful.
It is according to the type of POA you signed. IF it IS a regular POA you may have prob.'s with it being accepted if selling a house/property trans. from banks, etc. They will NOT accept a regular POA! If you have a durable POA you have complete control.
Do not give anyone a durable durable POA! If the person decides to cancel their POA of any kind, they can do so by signing papers @ the courthouse to cancel the POA & the person you gave the POA to, can no longer do anything in your name!
I certainly agree with Maw-Maw about not giving a durable power of attorney to just anyone but sometimes it becomes necessary - but - as I said it should be done through an attorney who will have final say. The POA would have the attorney's name AND (not or) another person approved by the one giving the POA.
That way any time anyone tries to use the POA, at least that would give some security with a second person approving what is trying to be done. This is not difficult but it will cost money each time the attorney has to review the POA. This can get expensive so it is best to not give a durable POA and leave all requests in a properly executed will or trust.
But - you can give a standard or durable POA with an ending date - even for just a day - so sometimes this may be the way to go.
A durable Power of Attorney can be revoked by filing with the court but few people go to the trouble to do this. Some people even forget that they gave a POA years in the past - but - without an ending date, the POA is good until that persons death.
Anyone senior dealing with a POA should try to have legal assistance even if it only with a senor citizens association. If the person is unable to visit their office, they will send someone to their house - at least they do in my area (Florida).
What do I do to make sure I'm the person over my mom's disability check? My granny was the person who was over it, but she died. But my mom's family is trying to take it and she wants me over it as I am her daughter. The family said I can't do it because I'm a felon.
Please help.
My fiancé is in prison for 8 more years; he wants to marry me and he has a trust fund from his deceased father. He has not signed any papers with the trust/probate attorney because of his incarceration.
What rights would I have if I am his fiance or if I marry him? He wants to release the POA into my hands instead of leaving in his brother's hands. Do I have any rights?In regard to being a power of attorney (PoA), how far back do you have to keep documentation for accounting purposes?
I have been PoA for my mother since 2004 and had to place her in a nursing home due to her dementia 13 months ago. She is now 90 and has enough assets to pay for her care with her private funds for at least a few more years. Because of the the 5-year Medicaid look-back period, I have been discarding all records that go beyond 5 years, and have been doing so on a monthly basis.
For example, this month (July 2016) I discarded all records dated June, 2011. Do I need to hold onto everything, no matter how old it is, just in case of an audit (for example, at the request of my siblings) or is 5 years of record keeping sufficient?I have a medical and legal power of attorney for my brother. He has been in and out of the hospital. We learned yesterday that his roommate now owns his home. My brother thought he was making a change to his will a year ago. Now he found out he titled the deed to his roommate.
The lawyer involved did not know my brother had a will. His roommate did. It only gave a percentage to the roommate upon his death. Is there anything I can do to help him get his house back in his name? I was not informed of all this when it happened.My father had a stroke in November of 2015. Since then my brother, who lives in the same state, Florida (I reside in N.C.) has taken a ton of the responsibility for everything concerning Dad.
I have not been sent any papers to sign or seen any legal documents, but my brother states that we are both the POA and executor of Dad's estate. The bulk of it is in an annuity. Not that I don't trust my brother, but he and his wife (whom I don't trust) have taken out 20,000 dollars already from Dad's account to help with Dad.
This I didn't question and in fact felt he deserved something. My brother states that I can not be sent any money till 60 months after Dad has been determined ill and that only he can take money from the annuity. Is this true in Florida?
I have a disabled child that will be 18 soon. He has TBI (traumatic brain injury) and his condition is getting worse as he gets older. He is now 16 years old and all of sudden family members that have not been around are now willing to be helpful with my son and want to be his best buddy. I want to know how or if I can become power of attorney or executor of my son's funds to protect him from the vultures that have started to surround my son for the money he will receive when he becomes 18?
I did not mention that his condition is from an accident that happened when he was 2.
