My boyfriend with whom I previously lived for 3 years passed away suddenly. His family made all of the funeral arrangements plus cleaned his apartment out without letting me be part of the process. They kept all of his belongings some of which were actually mine, gifts I had given and some sentimental things that would have meant nothing to them, but everything to me.
Upon his death the coroner said they were doing an autopsy due to him being found at home without being ill at the time. He told the family it would be weeks before the results would be available. Well months have passed and every time I ask one of them about it they defer to another subject and never give a straight answer. Are coroner reports public records? Is there a way to request one in NYS? I have not gotten the closure I need and just need to know what happened to him.
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According to this website, in Pennsylvania they are www.rcfp.org/
Since you live in NY, consult a NY attorney. The Legal Aid Society will give you information and a lawyer for free, if you cannot afford one.
You have my deepest condolences on your loss.
It sounds like you have two things your need to get closure, some of his personal effects (and your own) and to know what happened with him.
For the first, this site may help you find information if he had a will....if you don't already know that info. You may need an attorney or a mediator to get help if there was no will. Your state senator can help you with this. Google your location and the phrase state senator and call to set up an appointment. This should be a free service.
Here is some information on coroner reports:. It says they only go to legal family members. If you were his common law spouse, and could prove that, you should be able to to get access. If not, you can talk to your senator about that topic also... meaning seeing if you have any rights:
www1.nyc.gov/
www.archives.nysed.gov/
Sending prayers for you and and that you get the closure you need.
THEY ARE ONLY AVAILABLE TO THE NEXT OF KIN
YOU HAVE TO REQUEST THIS IN WRITING TO YOUR CORONERS OFFICE.
BUT THE RULES ARE DIFFERENT FROM STATE TO STATE.
It sounds like a lot of different things going on with this situation and you will probably have to deal with each individually.
Thank you for your reply. My original question here was only in regard to not knowing how he died and if I could find out. As far as the cleaning out of his papartmentwent, I didn't care about the things I gave him, they were his and his property. There were just little things of sentimental value that I would have like to have. The deck of cards we played rummy with. The matching coffee mugs we had our coffee from. At the time we were not living together but were planning to be and we were together alot. One of the reasons I was so upset was because I was the one who found him dead. I had been calling him since the day before with no response, then went there after work and had to put my thru the bathroom window to see him still sitting up on his bed slumped at the waist, blood from his nose, fully dressed including sox and sneakers and his bed made. It was tramatizing for me. I was the one who contacted his family who was was at estranged from his family except for a brother whom he maintained a relationship with. No, I wasn't close to his family because he wasn't close to his family except for his brother. I went to his services and I got a very nice thank you note from his daughter. I never contacted his family to ask for anything after that. It wasn't a matter of me pursing them or asking for anything. All I wanted to know was his cause of death thats all. It's been three months since my original post and I have been healing and slowly getting back to myself, just the natural process of grieving..
Thank you for posting back with an update. This sounds so very traumatic! You will remain in my prayers. I hope you have sought grief counseling, if you feel it is appropriate. Several local funeral homes in my town offer regular and FREE grief counselling. Best wishes and continued prayers. Take care of yourself!!
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