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If you have a grown child living with you and paying rent, see if he/she will trade off housekeeping duties for all or part of his/her rent. Hey, it might work!
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I live on low income disability. My paid for house is in desperate need of several repairs. My adult child and small grandchild moved in with me. My adult child has full use of house, laundry, yard, and exclusive use of 2 bedrooms. We split bills 50/50, buy our own and share groceries. They work 140 hrs per month and pay me $250 monthly to watch the child.
No matter how you handle this there is the chance they will move out and take the grandchild with them - are you prepared to live with this?
I'm just stating the obvious because it could happen - they may regret it and want to move back but how would you deal with that?
Would you just let them move back with the same conditions or would you insist on more money? Even though you already know that they may or may not live up to the conditions?
First - they most likely cannot move out because no matter where you live the rent will be more than they can pay and the 'move-in' cost will likely be a minimum of $2,200 (first & last month plus deposit - deposit on electricity and other utilities) and then also have to pay full amount for someone to 'watch' the child. Do you know how much this will cost them?
This does not include a car and gas and insurance to pay...
Why are they living with you? Is this due to a divorce? Are they collecting child support? You do not mention the age of your child and do not say if this is a son or daughter; I'm not sure why but answers might make a difference in answers members provide.
Now I can understand that you must have agreed on some charges before they moved in but you may need the small amount of money they are paying but have you actually thought about how much you are being paid to 'watch' your small grandchild?
Just out of curiosity, I did a little figuring:
work: 140 hours
daily commute? 2 hours x 5 days week = 40 hours
Total: $250 divided by 180 = $1.39 hour.
Now I'm sure you probably look after your grandchild many more hours a week (babysit while your child goes 'out'?) and also do their laundry and cooking as well as many other household chores that you child does not have to do even though the child should be their responsibility.
All of this is normal because generally we love our children and grandchildren and want to help them any way we can. It is very difficult to be stern and strong when dealing with situations like this as feelings run amuck and things can be said that should not be said.
I do not believe you are helping your child by allowing them to think all of this is okay as it is not teaching them about how to live in the real world when they have to take responsibility for their child and themselves.
I believe you should change the rules and explain that it is their responsibility to pay more money (unless they can prove to you they can live somewhere else for the same amount of money).
Actually, I do not believe you should have to say what you will do with the extra money and it probably should be more than $100 more each month.
I feel sure their will be words said maybe about 'love', 'grandchild' and maybe things that will have to be forgiven later but you should stick to your guns and help your child to grow up and take responsibility for THEIR child and their living expenses.
To me it really depends on what his financial situation is. I am glad he is actually contributing something, because so many times in these cases kids go home, mooch, and contribute nothing. He also actually has a job which is a big plus.
If he can well afford it, then yes, it is unacceptable that he cannot pitch in $100, and that he cops an attitude when you ask. It's almost like the attitude is what's worse about this situation.
If he really can't afford it, then the attitude is explained because it is depressing and emasculating to NOT be able to afford even giving $100 to your mum in spite of working basically a full time job. But the fact he said "I'd rather live on my own" means he prbably can afford it and is just being spoiled.
The situation sounds almost like he believes he has the upper hand somehow. He thinks he's doing you a favour by having him there contributing what he does, and request for anything more seems outrageous.
How badly do you need the $250 for childcare he already provides? If you really need it badly then you may have to put up with it. If not, call his bluff by making some of the good points others make on here.