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Deciding When to Have Children

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Growing your family is a major decision that will affect many facets of your life. Whether adopting a child or getting pregnant, new life brings with it many wonderful changes. This guide is about when to start having children.
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By 0 found this helpful
October 7, 2013

I want to caution those here who are "deciding to wait" to have children. Fertility is "not" a guarantee. The rates of infertility among couples is rising all the time, why? One reason is because many people are delaying marriage and also delaying pregnancy until they are close to 30. Many people do not realize that a woman's fertility begins to decline at 28 years old. We see famous women in their late thirties and forties having babies in entertainment magazines, which makes women think that it will be the same for them. Please remember that those women have the money for intensive fertility treatments which most people can't afford. It gives a skewed view of fertility and age.

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We began trying to have a family when I was 21 years old and had been married over two years. I'm glad we didn't wait, because it took us "seven" years to have a living child, with years of unexplained infertility combined with two miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy along the way. Our daughter is now 7 years old and we have not been able to have another living child, but have had one more miscarriage and another ectopic pregnancy. If we had "waited" to begin trying for a child, we may not have even had our precious daughter.

Do not ever assume that things will go well or easily for you. Your reproductive capabilities are beyond your control. "Waiting" may end up becoming "waiting for nothing." This scenario is being played out in many homes all across the world, with those who delay childbearing facing infertility issues and sometimes never having the child they had "waited" for.

Just a warning that we do not have control over this aspect of our lives.

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By 0 found this helpful
June 20, 2005

I am a 27 year old woman. I teach and I am married, almost 3 years now. I am curious is there a certain age you should start trying to have a family? Some people say I am still young, others keep asking why we aren't trying yet. We are enjoying being married right now and I am thinking 27 is still young, am I wrong?

TexasTeacher

Answers

Anonymous
June 20, 20050 found this helpful

I was 30 when I had my daughter and she is the only child. I lost 5 babies, each time within the first couple of weeks. 4 of them were after her. We were married 8 and 1/2 years when she came. So, we only got to have one child as over time, I did get older as these losses kept happening. So time does run out if you have problems having them and starting late in life makes it hard. Try to allow enough time for trying.

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The other thing was that at 30 I was the oldest of all the mothers at her nursery school and elementary school. That used to bother me. It is good to be young enough physically to thoroughly enjoy your children and be there for them when they are young adults.

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June 20, 20050 found this helpful

I agree with Maryanne. I am 30 and am pregnant with my 4th child. Each pregnancy seems to be harder and more physically draining. My sister-in-law is 37yrs and has been trying to have a baby. Her first pregancy just reccently ended in a miscarriage. The doctors told her that the older you are the higher the chance on complications, etc...
However I know many women who gave birth to children when they were in their 30's. You just have to look at the facts and decide what is best for you and your husband.

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Good Luck!!!

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By guest (Guest Post)
June 20, 20050 found this helpful

I'm 44 and childless by choice. I would strongly encourage you to go with your heart and only have children when you AND your spouse are ready to have them. This is one area of your life where you shouldn't let ANYONE pressure you. Having been a social worker all my life, there is nothing sadder than seeing a child who is resented and not wanted. Parenthood isn't for everyone. You can still nurture many lives in your teaching profession, in your family, and amongst your friends. It's your choice and your choice alone! Good luck with whatever you decide!

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By guest (Guest Post)
July 5, 20050 found this helpful

Every person is different. It is entirely up to you and your husband. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for waiting. You just need to do the research and know the facts. Be sure to talk with your gyno at your annual paps and ask questions. I was 35 before I got pregnant for the first time. Sure there are risks, but that's life. I had a completely normal, healthy pregnancy and delivery. The biggest decision you have to make is whether to have a child and all that goes with it. Only you and your husband can decide what is best for the two of you. Good luck.

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By guest (Guest Post)
July 6, 20050 found this helpful

I've never had, or wanted, children. I am very happy with dogs. My older sister feels the same. My parents were very supportive of our decisions. I agree that it's a very personal decision that's noone's business. If you enjoy your freedom, so be it. I love my freedom & don't regret my decision one minute. Especially when I see how most kids are allowed to treat their parents badly & generally have a horrible disposition.

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By guest (Guest Post)
August 17, 20050 found this helpful

27 is def not too young.
If you want children I wouldn't put if off. (all my friends have kids) Just enjoy MAKING LOVE. You'll start taking care of your body even more :) "because you might get pregnant" Which you should be doing anyhow!
I became pregnant at 32yrs. It was unplanned, I wasn't 'married' and there were some medications I was on that weren't entirely SAFE for a baby. (I ended the pregnancy...still wonder if I did the right thing)
My advice is "Have a baby" :) I think if you're asking you're ready (and you're never 'ready' by the way and you'll always be scared.....and you'll be asking this SAME question at 37. SO, if you don't start now it may be too late!) TRUST ME I'm almost 36!! (time flys!)
Life takes care of you...just trust and believe you can step out and touch
: ) If you and husband both want kids? Start Now! The sooner you start the sooner they'll be out of the house!!! : ) The money comes, the help comes, the crazys come, you lose your mind.... it's great!!! And you'll all the sudden meet friends everywhere LOL "Mothers"

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By guest (Guest Post)
August 22, 20050 found this helpful

My Husband & I have been married for 9 years and had been trying to conceive since Aug of 04. We conceived this June the week of our anniversary. We have really been planning for about 3 years to make sure we were both ready (he's 31 & I just turned 29 this month). This will be our first baby. I have had no problems so far. When people would ask us when we were going to have babies(the same people over & over again) we finally just told them we weren't going to. I don't believe there is any specific time to start trying to make babies. You and your husband should go with what is in ya'lls hearts.Don't let other dictate this event.I wanted children the first year we were married but it was not feasible b/c our lifestyle(ie...no $$, Army, moving etc). So just know that when God is ready for you to have children he will lay it on your heart to start trying or give you a nice surprise. Good luck.

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September 2, 20050 found this helpful

I am 21 and have a beautiful 15 month old baby boy. In my opinion you should have kids whenever your heart leads you to do so. You will know when the time is right. You'll have a feeling deep in your heart that just can't be quenched any other way. Forget what people say, have it when you are ready!

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