Finding a Lost Parent?

October 12, 2017

I do not know my father. I have no name for him, my mother took the secret to her grave. How can I go about finding him, or relatives?



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October 12, 20170 found this helpful
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You might want to try and do a back search.

  1. Write down all you know about yourself, birthday, year, and where you were born. State too.
  2. Do you know if your mom moved there before you were born or not?
  3. Does your mom have any sister's or brothers?
  4. Can you ask them who your mom was dating or seeing just before you were born?
  5. Can you go and find any of your mom's old friend's from school or people you know when you were growing up.
  6. I am sure there has to be someone around who knew your mom before she was born.
  7. After you find out as much as you can, you can take this information and try searching on FB.
  8. You can make a few posts asking if anyone knows your mom back in the year say 1970. This is one year before you were born.
  9. Now ask them if she was dating anyone and if they might know his name.
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  11. If you can find out any of this, maybe you can contact this person.
  12. See if he remembers your mom.
  13. Ask him about the two of them.
  14. Maybe you can track him down this way. It is worth a try.
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October 13, 20170 found this helpful
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As someone myself who has had to find lost and unknown family members, I have a few suggestions for you.

  1. I would look into purchasing a DNA kit. I've seen them for sale on television they are called 23 and me. I think its around $100.00 This should give you a list of all known relatives dead and living if Im not mistaken. Plus they update the data base all the time. For instance if you are registered as a client and your dad has not been registered or tagged as anyones know relative yet when he does register or if someone in his family has him listed as a known relative then you will be notified you have new possible family members that have been discovered. Im not 100% sure how it all works I just know it is the #1 recommendation while searching for lost family.
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  3. The second thing I would do is join some adoption search groups on facebook. Try to find one with people in your moms your hometown. Ask if there is a search angel that will help you. Search Angels are people with extrodinary skills at finding lost and unknown people or finding information about who those people might be. Sometimes they are people who have a higher clearance access to government files at their regular job and can find information out without a lot of problems they are usually people that do this service for free. If someone tries to charge you money dont do it its a scam.
  4. If you know your moms hometown and what high school she went to and her class year she graduated in, look for a Facebook group with her classmates. If you can find some of her friends they are likely to know who she was hanging out with during that time or where she was living ect..
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  6. Did your mom receive any kind of child support from anybody even if it was welfare from the State they make you list a potential Father because they want to hold somebody liable for that money. So you might want to check into if she received any kind of child support from anywhere or social security checks welfare checks that sort of thing.
  7. Lastly, its very possible your mom did not know 100% who it was and she was ashamed of this and thats why she never told you. Maybe she was in a relationship and stepped outside of that relationship with someone else that she never contacted about it. You just dont know. You need to find out everything you can during the time she was pregnant. Where did she live, work, hang out,who did she know? Who did she work with, date, socialize with date etc? If you were a full term baby then count back 38-40 weeks from your birthday and that is likely the time she got pregnant. The more you can pinpoint her life down during that era the easier it will be to find your dad. Someone knows something.
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  9. Lastly, I dont know if you believe in God and I dont want to offend you if you dont but it will do you no harm to pray and ask him to show you what you need to know to find out who he is. If you are diligent you will find him. It might take years, decades, or maybe months or weeks but if you are diligent you will find him.
  10. I have been able to find my biological dad who I looked for up until I was 26 and this was before computers where there is a vast amount of information. Also, my two children were legally kidnapped by the State one at 6 months old and the other a newborn from the hospital. For no other reason than they had a nice rich family the State wanted to basically sell them to, but my point is they changed my kids names and everything. I had no idea who adopted them or what their new names where or where they lived or anything. It took me 10 years, and I now know what they look like, where they live, their parents names, where they go to school, their new names. Everything. Prayer and diligence. Best of Luck to you in your search.
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3 More Questions

Ask a QuestionHere are the questions asked by community members. Read on to see the answers provided by the ThriftyFun community or ask a new question.

November 16, 2019

I am Anthone Hat. I am 17years old and I live in Zambia. I was raised by a Zambian mum who turned out not to be my real mum. She passed away when I was 12, but before she died she told me to say my real name is "Anthone Hat" and that she picked me in the streets when I was 4. She gave me her name and pretended I was her son.

So after she died, her two sons who hated me so much told me to go look for my biological parents because they can't afford my needs anymore. Now am not sure how I can find them since am in Zambia and the name she said is my real name is American.


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November 17, 20190 found this helpful
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This story almost sounds like you were kidnapped off the street and taken to her home. If this is the case the best place for you to start is at the police station in your area. You can go there and find out if anyone reported a missing boy 13 years ago. Maybe in the state they have a way for you to check records from this time to see if anyone was looking for a missing boy.


You can try posting some notification online about your story and see if anyone who was in Zambia 13 years ago had a son kidnapped off the streets and has been looking for him. Also try and check old missing person records in your area and see if anyone has filed a report.

Maybe go to the local TV station or radio station and tell your story. They might air this so someone can hear it and maybe come forward with some information about your kidnapping.

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November 18, 20190 found this helpful
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How sad for you...Do you know the vicinity you were in when your "Mum" took you? I'd begin there to find information. You need to get yourself out there in a lot of different venues to have many people all over see/hear/read this info you need. What about the "Mum's" friends or relatives she was close to and knows about your situation. Now with her death, they may open up and tell you information you need in your search for birth parents. In the U.S. there are websites to search for missing children; check those out using the name told to you. Even though it's been a long time since you were lifted and cared for, some websites still leave the case open hoping for current news to come. Also, genealogy websites have forums you can post your look up for in the HAT surname and just maybe you might get lucky and get replies. Check them often.

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April 26, 2016

My sister and I do not share the same dad. She has been trying her whole life to look for her father but gave up cause all we have is a name. We don't even know if we are spelling it right. We also have an approximate year of birth.

We don't know if he is alive or dead. Any suggestions on what we should do? I wouldn't want to go my whole life not knowing who my father is and I don't want my sister to either.


April 27, 20160 found this helpful
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The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS), sometimes known as Mormons, have done a really great job of compiling geneology records. They're very good about making their research findings available to anyone and everyone (you don't have to become a Mormon to ask their help). Why not start your inquiries there? And good luck!

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February 22, 2017

I have been reading numerous posts on your website and thought I would see if anyone could help me. I found out several years ago that the man who raised me is in fact not my biological father. I am 52 years old now and desperately want to find out any information on my biological father, but the only information I have for him is his first and last name, approximate age and that he worked at a restaurant called the Hi Spot in Corona, California in 1963.

My family moved from California not long after because the father who raised me was in the service and we were relocated. I am a member of, have searched Facebook, contacted the Corona Historical Society, researched the Corona Library and googled numerous other free websites, but keep hitting a brick wall. Was hoping someone could share their wisdom with me as to what else I can do to possibly find him with so little information.


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February 22, 20171 found this helpful

Is the restaurant by any chance still in business? Have you searched old newspapers on microfisch? Have you searched the social security death index?

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February 22, 20171 found this helpful

If you can't find any online trace of him there's the sad possibility that he died in the 90s , before he could leave a digital footprint.
There are sites lie spokeo and pipl and that can for free or for a fee find you stuff about someone

Re restaurant is a good lead if you can find the contact information of the last manager

More tips here

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April 4, 20170 found this helpful

I assumed you used white pages? I see there are some Donald Martins over 65 years of age near Corona. Good luck. I have been searching for 2 years for a friends mother so don't give up!

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