Finding a Lost Parent?

I do not know my father. I have no name for him, my mother took the secret to her grave. How can I go about finding him, or relatives?


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Bronze Post Medal for All Time! 105 Posts
October 12, 20170 found this helpful
Best Answer

You might want to try and do a back search.

  1. Write down all you know about yourself, birthday, year, and where you were born. State too.
  2. Do you know if your mom moved there before you were born or not?
  3. Does your mom have any sister's or brothers?
  4. Can you ask them who your mom was dating or seeing just before you were born?
  5. Can you go and find any of your mom's old friend's from school or people you know when you were growing up.
  6. I am sure there has to be someone around who knew your mom before she was born.
  7. After you find out as much as you can, you can take this information and try searching on FB.
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  9. You can make a few posts asking if anyone knows your mom back in the year say 1970. This is one year before you were born.
  10. Now ask them if she was dating anyone and if they might know his name.
  11. If you can find out any of this, maybe you can contact this person.
  12. See if he remembers your mom.
  13. Ask him about the two of them.
  14. Maybe you can track him down this way. It is worth a try.
Reply Was this helpful? Yes
October 13, 20170 found this helpful
Best Answer

As someone myself who has had to find lost and unknown family members, I have a few suggestions for you.

  1. I would look into purchasing a DNA kit. I've seen them for sale on television they are called 23 and me. I think its around $100.00 This should give you a list of all known relatives dead and living if Im not mistaken. Plus they update the data base all the time. For instance if you are registered as a client and your dad has not been registered or tagged as anyones know relative yet when he does register or if someone in his family has him listed as a known relative then you will be notified you have new possible family members that have been discovered. Im not 100% sure how it all works I just know it is the #1 recommendation while searching for lost family.
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  3. The second thing I would do is join some adoption search groups on facebook. Try to find one with people in your moms your hometown. Ask if there is a search angel that will help you. Search Angels are people with extrodinary skills at finding lost and unknown people or finding information about who those people might be. Sometimes they are people who have a higher clearance access to government files at their regular job and can find information out without a lot of problems they are usually people that do this service for free. If someone tries to charge you money dont do it its a scam.
  4. If you know your moms hometown and what high school she went to and her class year she graduated in, look for a Facebook group with her classmates. If you can find some of her friends they are likely to know who she was hanging out with during that time or where she was living ect..
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  6. Did your mom receive any kind of child support from anybody even if it was welfare from the State they make you list a potential Father because they want to hold somebody liable for that money. So you might want to check into if she received any kind of child support from anywhere or social security checks welfare checks that sort of thing.
  7. Lastly, its very possible your mom did not know 100% who it was and she was ashamed of this and thats why she never told you. Maybe she was in a relationship and stepped outside of that relationship with someone else that she never contacted about it. You just dont know. You need to find out everything you can during the time she was pregnant. Where did she live, work, hang out,who did she know? Who did she work with, date, socialize with date etc? If you were a full term baby then count back 38-40 weeks from your birthday and that is likely the time she got pregnant. The more you can pinpoint her life down during that era the easier it will be to find your dad. Someone knows something.
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  9. Lastly, I dont know if you believe in God and I dont want to offend you if you dont but it will do you no harm to pray and ask him to show you what you need to know to find out who he is. If you are diligent you will find him. It might take years, decades, or maybe months or weeks but if you are diligent you will find him.
  10. I have been able to find my biological dad who I looked for up until I was 26 and this was before computers where there is a vast amount of information. Also, my two children were legally kidnapped by the State one at 6 months old and the other a newborn from the hospital. For no other reason than they had a nice rich family the State wanted to basically sell them to, but my point is they changed my kids names and everything. I had no idea who adopted them or what their new names where or where they lived or anything. It took me 10 years, and I now know what they look like, where they live, their parents names, where they go to school, their new names. Everything. Prayer and diligence. Best of Luck to you in your search.
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Gold Post Medal for All Time! 677 Posts
October 12, 20170 found this helpful

If you know any of your mothers relatives, you could try there. Someone must know something.

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Silver Post Medal for All Time! 433 Posts
October 13, 20170 found this helpful

Finding a father.

Step 1
Start with family or your mom's friends to see what they know first.

Step 2
Check your birth certificate.

Step 3
Check public records his name might be somewhere with your mom's name.


Step 4
Here is a link to truth punch in your moms name maybe something will come

Step 5
Sometimes family members know stuff but do not want to tell until you ask.

Reply Was this helpful? Yes
October 14, 20170 found this helpful

If you cannot find through your birth records or other options, upload your mother's photo to your social network and use this method to spread the word if any body from your father's side can recognize her and contact you.

Reply Was this helpful? Yes
January 6, 20180 found this helpful

You should start with getting a copy of your birth certificate. It could list your father's name. You may find helpful info by tracking your own life starting with the year and place you were born. Ask friends and family members of your mother's where she lived when you were born. Neighbors could remember your mother and maybe your father. Ask where your mother worked when you were born. Depending on your age there may be hospital personnel that remembers your mother and may know info about your father.

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