Random personal thoughts on pregnancies and parenting. Long but worth a read if you plan on having a child. This is only meant for those who take raising a child VERY seriously. I hate the way most parents I see these days are.
Parenting begins LONG before you child is even born or conceived. You have ready yourself in terms of finance/time/health and everything else. Another thing I think are VERY VERY important is having a spouse or partner that intends to raise your baby in the same way that you plan to do so. For example: Don't wait until your child's 5th birthday to discover that your partner wants your child to be home schooled when you've been thinking private school the entire time. If you and your partner are not on the same pages with the important things, disaster is what you are planning for.
I understand we now live in a world where people consider it normal to have a single parent or whatever but a child needs both a mother and father (I'm sorry if I'm offending anyone. I'm strictly speaking in terms of mother nature and the way I see it.) What I mean by this is that a child needs to learn and absorb things from both parents. Mothers/Fathers naturally provide different things to the child. Also, a child will look upon the both of you and the way you interact with each other. It will grow up naturally wanting a loving family the way you have demonstrated all of it's life and MOST importantly, it'll have been raised in a way that has prepared it to start a family of it's own in that fashion.
A daughter will naturally love her father more and a son his mother. We are biologically programmed this way. That is to say, the parent still has to be a loving parent.
Clear both your bodies of toxins and try not to smoke or drink for as long as possible leading up to the inception. This is where a suitable partner starts to become important. It takes dedication.
You should both eat healthy foods before the pregnancy. Avoid eating too much red meat and all meats all together as much as possible. Lots of vegetables and a lot of good proteins like fish and tofu. You should both continue this after the inception but the mother is a must as she will be feeding the baby with whatever she eats.
I am against all drugs during/before pregnancies. Not just illegal drugs. I mean prescriptions. Especially the psych and birth control ones. Doctors these days tell people it's okay to take random drugs when the pharmaceutical industry is still in it's infancy. They have no idea of the long term effects but to their advantage, it's almost impossible to put the blame on them (especially in court) if your child does have any problems. Look at all these new health problems that have developed in the last 40 odd years. I just find it disgusting when I hear of a mother being told it's okay to take this drug and that drug when they're pregnant.
Now, after your child is born, it requires nutrients. From the second it is born, it's brain/body will be striving to grow and develop. Nutrition is KEY. Make sure your child doesn't get constipated. You don't want your child constipated as it's digestive tract is so fragile and developing. You want it in optimal health for as long as possible. Your child will probably throw all your hard work out the window after it hits junior high with the pepsi and chips but it'll have the foundations that you provided as insurance for later on in life.
Stop for a minute and think of dogs. Dogs are animals and so are we. When a dog is fed that Purina garbage from it's birth and you buy it from the pet store about 3 months after it's born, it's already all but guaranteed that that dog has a shorter life expectancy than the same exact dog born into a respectable kennel being fed quality meats and food from birth. The health of it's parents play a big role. Ring a bell? Any animal that is bred is optimized by eating the best foods, getting lots of exercise and they're ALWAYS bred with parents that have been raised the same way.
You must pay attention to a child. Every minute of every day is a chance to learn something new. Children learn with repetition. For example, if a child hands me something, I excitedly say "Thank you" with a big smile and hug them to let them first learn to thank people but let them see how happy they can make someone by giving them something or doing something correctly. Do things over and over. Take notice of it's strengths and weaknesses and adapt lessons to compensate.
This may sound like garbage to some but by the time your child hits first grade like I mentioned before, it'll have that leg up on other kids.
Don't give in to whining. This only teaches bad behaviour. I hate when I see kids whining in malls or on the streets whining and screaming. I would have never acted in such a way growing up with my parents. Ever. My siblings and I knew better. How can you be so disrespectful? Your child is smart. It will begin testing you from day one until the day it moves out. It will see what you put up with and what you don't. Put your foot down from day one and you'll have the advantage.
Your child is a lump of clay made from two of you, you must mold a decent human being. Always be open with a child. Explain everything as most children don't ask what they don't know. If something happens like a pet dies, sit down not only explain why it happened and that it isn't the child's fault, talk about how they'll be feeling in the days/weeks to come. Check back in and always make sure you child knows it can come to you with anything. Once you start yelling and scaring a child, it'll turn to other's for advice and no one has it's interest closer to heart than you.
Be good to your children always and they'll be good to you when you're old. A big problem is worrying that it'll fall in with the wrong crowd or do drugs. The best way to combat this, I think is to be open with your child when it asks you about these things. Your child stops wanting to talk to you and always focus on their friends because you're no longer cool. The trick is to make sure your child regards you as cool and at the same time, know that you're the most HONEST person they'll ever know.
Make your child get a job when it's 16. I don't care if your Bill Gates, teaching the worth of a dollar to a child is so important. I don't mean withholding college payments even if they're going to get thrown out. I mean, pay for their tuition but make them work for every dollar they spend on themselves. They won't starve. There are 18-19 year old kids who can handle a part time job. It's okay to throw in a gift or a couple bucks once in a while but make sure they work.
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