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Joke: New Airline Rules


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Attendant: "Welcome aboard, sir. May I see your ticket?"

Passenger: "Sure."

Attendant: "You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!"

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Passenger: "What for?"

Attendant: "For telling you where to sit."

Passenger: "But I already knew where to sit."

Attendant: "Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy."

Passenger: "That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it."

Attendant: "Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?"

Passenger: "Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this."

Attendant: "Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?"

Passenger: "That would be swell, thanks."

Attendant: "No problem. Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please."

Passenger: "What?"
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Attendant: "The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee."

Passenger: "This is extortion. I won't stand for it."

Attendant: "Actually, you're right, you can't stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But, first I need that $10."

Passenger: "No way!"

Attendant: "Sir, if you don't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that."

Passenger: "Why not? Is he going to shoot me?"

Attendant: "No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee."

Passenger: "Oh, all right, here, take the $10. I can't believe this."

Attendant: "Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

Passenger: "Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?"
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Attendant: "Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes."

Passenger: "The airline is charging me for cabin air?"

Attendant: "Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents."

Passenger: "I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?"

Attendant: "Certainly, sir! Here you go!"

Passenger: "But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar."

Attendant: "Yes, there's a change making fee of 25 cents."

Passenger: "For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? What the heck can I do with this?"

Attendant: "Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory."

By imaqt1962 from Illinois

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By Paula Jo Carr Mebane, NC (Guest Post)
July 22, 20080 found this helpful

This is way too funny but close to being reality anymore too, HA! Thanks for sharing.

 
By janet from toronto, ontario (Guest Post)
July 26, 20080 found this helpful

I do not normally read jokes, but this one. I took two. Thanks so much for the laugh. Regards, Janet

 

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