FamilyBetter Living

Concerns after Sister-in-Law and Children Moved In

My sister-in-law has told my husband, her brother, that she had everything situated to move. We haven't been married 3 years yet and his family is always asking him for help since we got married. I was suppose to be keeping the kids (3) and only that. After the kids leave and on the weekends is my time. So when she moved here, all of a sudden she doesn't have anything in order like she said. So basically she lied. Now she expects us to change or drop everything in our life to help her when she should have had her stuff together before she moved. Plus we are in the process of trying to get pregnant and I don't need the extra stress and noise. I just want peace and quiet. Do you think we should let her stay or tell her no?

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January 16, 20190 found this helpful

Wow!! You sound like you have your hands full with family and trying to be a married couple. That can be such a tough balance.

I recommend talking with someone who knows you both, but who is a neutral party like a priest or rabbi or minister. It sounds like you could benefit from having a private time where you both feel heard and understood and taught how to set boundaries. You could try this on your own, but sometimes it is just better to have someone guide you through the process.

That third party can help coach you through the conversation, prevent yelling and screaming (which tends to happen with people) or totally clamming up and not speaking up (which also can happen).

Please post back how it goes. Prayers for a win win resolution!!

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January 17, 20190 found this helpful

Yes...I did let her stay 3 days after tonight that's it..because I love my own space plus we are trying to get pregnant and this is the best time to do it my doc told us. Also our 3 yr anniversary is next week.

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With all the fertility meds the doc has me on I really need my space cause they have me with hot flashes and I dont like putting on clothes lol when I'm like that. I dont mind helping nobody..its just that every since we got married only his fb family was asking to stay with us.

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January 16, 20190 found this helpful

it is difficult for you as an outside to this probably longstanding family dynamic to do anything or impose your ideas without becoming the enemy. On the other hand you do hae a right to a life you want and to some degree you are in the right.

it really depends in the end on what you're willing to put up with and howmuch your husband values you v. the sister.

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January 17, 20190 found this helpful

You and your husband should be a united front. I would discuss this with him.

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He should be the one to tell her no, not you. If you do it, it will cause a lot of problems for you

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