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Divorce Tips

March 17, 2011

Torn Photo of Happy CoupleHaving gone through a destructive divorce 6 years ago,My Frugal LifeI have learned to economize my life. I was left with 2 teens who needed to maintain a "normal" lifestyle, which left me to become extremely creative in our living.

I began with learning how to do all my own general home repairs and maintenance. This saved me roughly $2000 a year in general expense. I learned how to grow my own fruits and vegetables in raised beds. Saved me at least $200 monthly in my food bill. I altered our hot water heater and raised our AC unit to 75 degrees.

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In Florida the average cooling bill and heating bill is roughly $200 monthly. Mine is now $145. I capture rain water and I don't have a lawn to worry about. My water bill is now $75 monthly for a house of 7 members using showers and laundry. That is down from a family of 4 at $90 a month.

Divorce has its advantages. I've learned to live in awareness.

By Dawn from Brandon, FL

Do you have a frugal story to share with the ThriftyFun community? Submit your essay here: http://www.thriftyfun.com/post_myfrugallife.ldml

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12 Questions

Ask a QuestionHere are the questions asked by community members. Read on to see the answers provided by the ThriftyFun community or ask a new question.

June 13, 2011

Do I have any rights left if we are separated but not divorced? I sold stuff to get a lawyer, he did nothing for me. I'm out $35,000. He (the husband) hired a lawyer, but refuses to agree on anything. I've got no more money to fight. Do I have any rights? My husband won't divorce me.

By Christine

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June 13, 20110 found this helpful

I don't know know that there is anything to do if he won't sign the papers. However, quit blowing money on an attorney, if it isn't do any good. When you had the divorce papers served on him, did he respond. Here in SD when a person is served with divorce papers they have 60 days to respond, otherwise the divorce is granted be default or whatever it is called.

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Some day he will meet a woman he wants and then he will be agreeable.

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July 26, 2006

I recently got divorced after 40 years and I am trying to get my credit cleaned up after he made a mess of it. I was surprised to find that there was a credit card with over $50,000 on it! In the divorce settlement, he was to take over all debts for the exception of one. Now, how do I get this off my credit, obliviously it was opened in the 90's when we were still married and he put my name on it also.

Can anyone help me? I think the bank will just say too bad, your name is there. I talked with him and he said he doesn't have the money to pay it off and it will go into default or whatever it is called.
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Thank you,
Woowow from MI

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July 27, 20060 found this helpful

When my parents divorced my dad was supposed to pay all past medical bills. He too said he didn't have the money to do so. My mom's lawyer told her she would have to pay them to keep her credit from reflecting the late payments. In order for my mom to get her money back she would have had to taken my dad to court to sue him for the money.

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July 27, 20060 found this helpful

Unfortunately, there's no easy answer to this one. You were married when the debt was established and that makes you liable. I'd make sure that I posted a letter with all three credit reporting agencies stating that my husband made the bill without my knowledge, include a copy of the part of the divorce stating that he was responsible for the other bills. Immediately call the company, talk to a supervisor, explain the dilemma, to see if they'll write part of it off.

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Then make special arrangements to pay it off, and make payments monthly without fail. This will at least show that you are a responsible person to anyone who checks your credit. And the consistent monthly payments will show that you are a person of your word. Chalk it up to a life-lesson.

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July 27, 20060 found this helpful

Call the credit card company and ask them to take your name off the card, ask what they need to do that. Quite often with the information from the divorce decree plus possibly a notorized statement from your husband asking for you to be removed and showing that you are not the one responsible for the bill, they will be able to remove your name from it. The advice about the credit agencies is a good one, too but deal with the credit card company first. Until they have proof that he is the one responsible for the bill, they will continue to come after you both.

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Susan from ThriftyFun

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By Diana (Guest Post)
July 27, 20060 found this helpful

Make sure you GET YoUR NAME OFF THE ACCOUNT! or you can still be responsible for charges made after this
Have you name removed from anything you had jointly
run your credit report Free
it is freecreditcheck.com I think
this will show you all your accounts

Also, try reading and listening t Dave Ramsey. He has some great ideas

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By Margie Minard (Guest Post)
July 27, 20060 found this helpful

My mother went through a divorce back in the 1950's. To get the bills paid, she cashed in some of the life insurance policies.or just used the equity in them. Check to see if you can pay some of the debts you are involved in this way, or maybe you can just get a little breathing room using these.

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God Bless you!! I know that what you are doing is very, very difficult.

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July 27, 20060 found this helpful

Thank all of you for your helpful information for trying to deal with this problem..they are all good suggestions and I will try one by one. Anymore ideas would be greatly appreciated. This site is great,,someone just happened to stumble on to it and told me...Again thank you for your prompt responses......woowow

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July 27, 20060 found this helpful

It all depends as to whether that part of the settlement was included in the Final Divorce Order. If yes, I would recommend you taking the Final Order, or certified copies thereof (if a certified copy is considered a legal document in the US), to the bank and asking them whether they could and would recover the debt from your ex-husband. The reason is that he is in contempt of a Court Order, which is a criminal offence, in SA at least. If the bank is not willing to help you, try to find a lawyer, maybe through Legal Aid, to advise you as to your rights and responsibilities. The lawyer who represented you in the divorce matter should be your first point of help, but if you cannot afford him, do try other options for free or cheaper legal advice and assistance.

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October 10, 2005

My partner has been divorced for 12 months. He has two children with her. She left him but he is still in the family home which is up for sale. The house will be split 60/40 to her when it is sold, but she still has a key for the house and comes and goes when she pleases. I am sure this is not right, everyone is entitled to privacy which we are not getting.



I have just found out that I am pregnant and my partner wants me to move into the house till it is sold. His ex wife has gone mad and has said she will move back in if I move in. What I wanted to know is if it possible for her to do this because surely I can live with my partner who is just trying to provide for me and our unborn baby. Could you give me some advice on this matter.

Kaz from England

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By (Guest Post)
October 10, 20050 found this helpful

Why is HE allowing this?

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By Stan (Guest Post)
October 10, 20050 found this helpful

Why does'nt he change the locks on the door..

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By (Guest Post)
October 10, 20050 found this helpful

I agree - he should stand up for himself and you by putting a stop to her barging in. Simplest answer - change the locks!!!

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By Highly Favored (Guest Post)
October 11, 20050 found this helpful

1st of all...after 12 months and he hasn't changed the locks...I would be concerned about whether he doesn't mind her coming and going as she pleases.

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By Teri (Guest Post)
October 11, 20050 found this helpful

Hi There Kaz!

I have to go along with everyone else on this -- it's his problem. I'd go one step further though and say don't move in until he's solved it -- you'll just be making it YOUR problem.

Good Luck Hon :)

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By Rose Mary B (Guest Post)
October 22, 20050 found this helpful

The thing to do is change all locks and then get married. She then would have no right to enter since he would be remarried

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March 9, 2012

I was wondering if I need a signature from the other party on a divorce. We have been separated for 13 years.

By smiley

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March 8, 2015

My boyfriend is in prison. He has been trying to get a divorce from his wife, but she won't sign the papers. Is there any way the divorce can happen without her signature?

By Lashana T.

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May 16, 2014

I'm currently in the military and my soon-to-be-ex wife left me while I was deployed. She moved back to Florida and is now engaged and pregnant. We've been "separated" for 2 years and now she doesn't want to speed up the process. We both agreed on everything and now signed it once. She ended up changing it again because I found a girlfriend and she too is now pregnant. Is there any reason why she doesn't want to sign it?

By Kyle B.

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July 16, 2011

My husband sent me divorce papers, uncontested, and there was nothing for me to sign. What do I do; what does this mean?

By Lisa


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February 11, 2014

Three years ago I went up to the courthouse and signed divorce papers right there in front of a clerk. I watched her notarize it. And there is no record of me being divorced. What do I do?

By Amber

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May 28, 2020

Legal documents, such as divorce papers, should be available from the records office in your city or municipality. Try that if you never received copies from the court or have misplaced the original copies.

A divorce decree on a judge's desk.

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August 26, 2016

This is a page about spouse won't sign divorce papers. Getting a divorce is very stressful, having your spouse refuse to sign the papers only makes it worse.

Rolled up divorce decree with pen on legal pad

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May 30, 2013

One of the main components of most divorce decrees deals with child visitation. This is also one of the frequent points of contention between the divorced parents.

Visitation Rights

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