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Having gone through a destructive divorce 6 years ago, I have learned to economize my life. I was left with 2 teens who needed to maintain a "normal" lifestyle, which left me to become extremely creative in our living.
I began with learning how to do all my own general home repairs and maintenance. This saved me roughly $2000 a year in general expense. I learned how to grow my own fruits and vegetables in raised beds. Saved me at least $200 monthly in my food bill. I altered our hot water heater and raised our AC unit to 75 degrees. In Florida the average cooling bill and heating bill is roughly $200 monthly. Mine is now $145. I capture rain water and I don't have a lawn to worry about. My water bill is now $75 monthly for a house of 7 members using showers and laundry. That is down from a family of 4 at $90 a month.
Divorce has its advantages. I've learned to live in awareness.
By Dawn from Brandon, FL
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This is a guide about spouse won't sign divorce papers. Getting a divorce is very stressful, having your spouse refuse to sign the papers only makes it worse.
Ask a QuestionHere are the questions asked by community members. Read on to see the answers provided by the ThriftyFun community or ask a new question.
Do I have any rights left if we are separated but not divorced? I sold stuff to get a lawyer, he did nothing for me. I'm out $35,000. He (the husband) hired a lawyer, but refuses to agree on anything. I've got no more money to fight. Do I have any rights? My husband won't divorce me.
I don't know know that there is anything to do if he won't sign the papers. However, quit blowing money on an attorney, if it isn't do any good. When you had the divorce papers served on him, did he respond. Here in SD when a person is served with divorce papers they have 60 days to respond, otherwise the divorce is granted be default or whatever it is called. Some day he will meet a woman he wants and then he will be agreeable.
I recently got divorced after 40 years and I am trying to get my credit cleaned up after he made a mess of it. I was surprised to find that there was a credit card with over $50,000 on it! In the divorce settlement, he was to take over all debts for the exception of one. Now, how do I get this off my credit, obliviously it was opened in the 90's when we were still married and he put my name on it also. Can anyone help me? I think the bank will just say too bad, your name is there. I talked with him and he said he doesn't have the money to pay it off and it will go into default or whatever it is called.
When my parents divorced my dad was supposed to pay all past medical bills. He too said he didn't have the money to do so. My mom's lawyer told her she would have to pay them to keep her credit from reflecting the late payments. In order for my mom to get her money back she would have had to taken my dad to court to sue him for the money.
Unfortunately, there's no easy answer to this one. You were married when the debt was established and that makes you liable. I'd make sure that I posted a letter with all three credit reporting agencies stating that my husband made the bill without my knowledge, include a copy of the part of the divorce stating that he was responsible for the other bills. Immediately call the company, talk to a supervisor, explain the dilemma, to see if they'll write part of it off. Then make special arrangements to pay it off, and make payments monthly without fail. This will at least show that you are a responsible person to anyone who checks your credit. And the consistent monthly payments will show that you are a person of your word. Chalk it up to a life-lesson.
Call the credit card company and ask them to take your name off the card, ask what they need to do that. Quite often with the information from the divorce decree plus possibly a notorized statement from your husband asking for you to be removed and showing that you are not the one responsible for the bill, they will be able to remove your name from it. The advice about the credit agencies is a good one, too but deal with the credit card company first. Until they have proof that he is the one responsible for the bill, they will continue to come after you both.
Susan from ThriftyFun
Make sure you GET YoUR NAME OFF THE ACCOUNT! or you can still be responsible for charges made after this
Have you name removed from anything you had jointly
run your credit report Free
it is freecreditcheck.com I think
this will show you all your accounts
Also, try reading and listening t Dave Ramsey. He has some great ideas
My mother went through a divorce back in the 1950's. To get the bills paid, she cashed in some of the life insurance policies.or just used the equity in them. Check to see if you can pay some of the debts you are involved in this way, or maybe you can just get a little breathing room using these. God Bless you!! I know that what you are doing is very, very difficult.
Thank all of you for your helpful information for trying to deal with this problem..they are all good suggestions and I will try one by one. Anymore ideas would be greatly appreciated. This site is great,,someone just happened to stumble on to it and told me...Again thank you for your prompt responses......woowow
It all depends as to whether that part of the settlement was included in the Final Divorce Order. If yes, I would recommend you taking the Final Order, or certified copies thereof (if a certified copy is considered a legal document in the US), to the bank and asking them whether they could and would recover the debt from your ex-husband. The reason is that he is in contempt of a Court Order, which is a criminal offence, in SA at least. If the bank is not willing to help you, try to find a lawyer, maybe through Legal Aid, to advise you as to your rights and responsibilities. The lawyer who represented you in the divorce matter should be your first point of help, but if you cannot afford him, do try other options for free or cheaper legal advice and assistance.
You need to find out more information.
1. Is the account in your name as a joint account holder, or is your name just on the account as an authorized user? If you are just a user, you probably aren't responsible for the debt, but that doesn't mean creditors won't call you trying to find your husband. But if you are just a user, you aren't liable for the debt and you should tell the creditors to leave you alone.
2. Check your credit report and see if the debt is even on there. I think if you look up equifax, experian, or tansunion online, those sites let you get a free credit report once every 12 months or so. If the debt isn't there, then you're ok. Your spouse's debt doesn't affect your credit score unless it's a joint account.
It would also be a good idea to contact a professional about this. We on this site really want to help but we're no substitute for professional advice!
I too went thru a divorce in 1975 and was left with credit card bills my ex husband had made. I paid them off one by one by payments. Took me 5 years but cleared my credit up. Bad deal but that happens. Good luck to you
Allison's advice sounds right on the money. If you did not jointly open this account, never used it and were added only as an authorized user, they should not be able to hold you accountable for the debt. Now, the debt collectors will try to intimidate you into thinking it is your debt and laws may vary state to state. Definitely get your credit report, everyone should do this once a year, every year, especially now that they are free! http://www.annualcreditreport.com Once you check your credit, follow Susan's advice and get your name off of everything that isn't your own individual credit. And don't sweat it ... you'll get there. Best of wishes.
I went through the same situation back in the early 90's.
I ended up filing bankruptcy because of the debt which I hated to do BUT IT WAS A BLESSING IN DISGUISE REALLY. After 7 years it was taken off my credit report which is now shown as excellent as far as credit ratings go.
You must be over $20,000 or better in debt in order to file bankruptcy but check it out in your particular state.
Good Luck on your dilemma.
Please let us know what worked for you.
My partner has been divorced for 12 months. He has two children with her. She left him but he is still in the family home which is up for sale. The house will be split 60/40 to her when it is sold, but she still has a key for the house and comes and goes when she pleases. I am sure this is not right, everyone is entitled to privacy which we are not getting.
I have just found out that I am pregnant and my partner wants me to move into the house till it is sold. His ex wife has gone mad and has said she will move back in if I move in. What I wanted to know is if it possible for her to do this because surely I can live with my partner who is just trying to provide for me and our unborn baby. Could you give me some advice on this matter.
Kaz from England
Why is HE allowing this?
Why does'nt he change the locks on the door..
I agree - he should stand up for himself and you by putting a stop to her barging in. Simplest answer - change the locks!!!
1st of all...after 12 months and he hasn't changed the locks...I would be concerned about whether he doesn't mind her coming and going as she pleases.
Hi There Kaz!
I have to go along with everyone else on this -- it's his problem. I'd go one step further though and say don't move in until he's solved it -- you'll just be making it YOUR problem.
Good Luck Hon :)
The thing to do is change all locks and then get married. She then would have no right to enter since he would be remarried
To know whether it's legal or not, you should be consulting an attorney. He most definitely be changing the locks. I'd think twice before moving in with him with a situation like that.
I was wondering if I need a signature from the other party on a divorce. We have been separated for 13 years.
My boyfriend is in prison. He has been trying to get a divorce from his wife, but she won't sign the papers. Is there any way the divorce can happen without her signature?
I'm currently in the military and my soon-to-be-ex wife left me while I was deployed. She moved back to Florida and is now engaged and pregnant. We've been "separated" for 2 years and now she doesn't want to speed up the process. We both agreed on everything and now signed it once. She ended up changing it again because I found a girlfriend and she too is now pregnant. Is there any reason why she doesn't want to sign it?
By Kyle B.
My husband sent me divorce papers, uncontested, and there was nothing for me to sign. What do I do; what does this mean?
Three years ago I went up to the courthouse and signed divorce papers right there in front of a clerk. I watched her notarize it. And there is no record of me being divorced. What do I do?