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Emotionally and Verbally Abusive Husband?

I came from an abusive home. He knows this, after 26 yrs. He cuts me down in front of my girls, saying my mind is tainted, making stuff up. I had a stroke in 2009 and he was working in California. He did not come home to take care of my 2 girls, one was 10 and the other 5 at the time. He did come home once. I begged him to stay, but he left us again. He has not worked lately. He says he has to be here for me. I took care of and still take care of my girls.

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He says the same to them, telling them they sit on their brain in a nice way. He says we are brainless and tells us we are slobs. My house has always been clean. I also have fibromyalgia and I hurt, but he has me up early cooking, making coffee. I have got to clean the laundry. On my bad days he yells at me. Part of my left side doesn't work well. We hide and go in our rooms or one room together. I'm scared if I do something he will hurt us.

By Tina

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July 7, 20130 found this helpful

Take your girls, some clothes, that you can carry with you, and a few other small things like important papers, etc. and get to a shelter, then file for divorce. There is no reason to put up with his crap.

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July 7, 20130 found this helpful

RUN! As fast and as far away as possible.. If you read your letter.. you already know the answer and are asking for support.. depend on yourself first, and then you will find that others will acknowledge..

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Love has nothing to do with this.. SURVIVAL is what you need to focus on. If not for yourself, then you MUST do this for your kids. If you have answers that start with "but..." then you are in the situation you deserve.

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July 8, 20130 found this helpful

I was in a physically abusive relationship when I was 17 and I stayed until I was 22 filed for divorce when I was 23 because I met a man that became my husband of 20 years this year. I too have fibro and arthritis in my back so understand the pain. I am not sure where you are located but here is a website that you can look up some places that can help. REMEMBER though that internet usage can be traced so if you are using a personal computer then wipe the history or at least anything that has to do with this, for your own safety. Here is the site:

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www.thehotline.org/.../

I hope you get your girls and yourself to a safe place and get yourselves some counseling other wise the cycle might continue with your girls...Prayerful blessings and hugs from Colorado

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July 8, 20130 found this helpful

There is no need to put up with this. Get out immediately. Your girls are big and will support you in this. Pack clothes and anything of importance and leave for a shelter or a relative or friend as soon as possible. Do you have anyone who can help you? A brother or sister? A good friend? This man is of no use to you, and only makes your life worse. You owe it to your daughters to show them that enough is enough and you will not put up with any more of this abuse. I know it is hard to leave, but you will be so happy the moment you have made the decision to leave, and ecstatic when you are settled in a safe place away from this man. GET OUT NOW.

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July 8, 20130 found this helpful

Call your church for help. They can assist you to find help.

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July 8, 20130 found this helpful

Find a women's shelter in your area and leave. If you have to leave your clothes and "stuff" behind, do it. Take your girls and get to a safe place as fast as you can.

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Allowing them to be in that situation will only show them that it's okay to be treated that way and most likely will perpetuate the cycle of abuse.

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July 8, 20130 found this helpful

Find a safe house and arrange to go there. Get you and your girls out of there. If not for you, then for them. Please don't let them grow up thinking it is okay for a man to treat them badly. Call this number and they should be able to give you information about the closest safe house for you. Get away and start your life over again. You can do it! No man is worth abuse.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
(800) 799-SAFE (7233)

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July 8, 20130 found this helpful

It sounds as if your husband is mentally ill. Please google "narcissistic personality disorder" so you can make a healthy decision on what to do.

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Its better for the children to come from a "broken" home than a crazy home.

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July 8, 20130 found this helpful

First off, What he is saying to you is him trying to overcome his inability's by degrading you. Every word he says, he is trying to make himself feel better because he knows he is rotten. File a police report of his abuse so you can have it on record, as you plan to go to a shelter or another safe place. Leave while he is out of the house so He can't talk you down. Get a restraining order too. You can't take care of your girls unless you take care of yourself. Get out. Get counseling too. Prayers for you and thank you for reaching out.

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