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Family Etiquette for Young Couples Visiting Home

When my older daughter and her boyfriend come over my younger daughter has an issue with their displays of affection. Putting feet on each other, she lays across him sometimes while watching TV, etc. What is the proper behavior for young lovers visiting home? It's all new to me.

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September 5, 20170 found this helpful

Normally young couples should show respect in their parent's home. If this is a problem I would have a talk with my daughter. I would explain to her that she needs to show respect when in your home. Holding hands, or putting an arm around the shoulder is fine. But lying down on his lap and watching TV isn't proper behavior. Also playing footsie should be stopped when in your home.

Explain to your daughter that her younger sister, finds this offensive. While she is in your home, she should act according. She should follow the same rules as your young daughter follows when her boyfriend is visiting. You don't allow your younger daughter to act like this with her boyfriend. Your older daughter should not act like she is now in your home.

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September 6, 20170 found this helpful

I think it depends on the culture and how love is shown among each family. Even my parents' hardly show affection in front of us. And in return, at most I would do is hold my fiancés hand in front of my parents'. I would never lay on my fiancé, then boyfriend, make out, kiss or anything in front of my parents'. I would feel very awkward and uncomfortable, but some people can do these things naturally.

When your older daughter and her boyfriend visits and does this, what are your thoughts and views? Would you rather have them behind close doors doing this? How old is your younger daughter?

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September 8, 20170 found this helpful

I don't feel too bothered by it, but would rather her show some respect in general for us and herself. She is a good kid, but obviously feels very safe and comfortable with me. My younger daughter is a young 20 years old and when she would have a male friend over this was not allowed, but she was much younger then. I really just wanted to see if I was inline with what others thought. I am. Thanks for the feedback.

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September 6, 20170 found this helpful

If your daughter has issues with it, you should probably mention it to your older daughter. It really sucks to be uncomfy in your own house! I remember my distant cousin was like that with her boyfriend when I was about 9 years old and it made me feel SUPER uncomfortable. I didn't even want to be around. I'd say something.

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September 9, 20170 found this helpful

"Back in the day" there existed very definite, ironclad rules, from religious leaders thru Emily Post, all dictating what or what should not be done with one's SO, especially if unmarried, in public, one's parents' home, etc

Certain subsections of society still operate under such rigid constructs so it becomes easy to 'enforce', if you will, certain behaviour

if on the other hand one has grown up in a more, not sure to say 'liberal' or 'conventional' or 'secular' environment, few rules exist or existed, and so it is up to the individual families to express preferences, etc

if it doesn't bother you in particular and yu are a head of the household, my tendency is to say 'suck it up' to the younger daughter. If you want to create a more concensus-driven environment, you probalby will need to ahve some sort of meeting/intervention and have everyone discuss the situation see if a happy medium can be detected

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the fact is it may be useful to your elder daughter to learn that others can be made uncomfortable by her behaviour. It is useful in life and society to be able to be aware of the impression we make on others and of the effects of our actions, so having her hear it regardless of the final result would be a good thing for her IMO

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