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Getting Along with Mean Older Brothers?

I am the youngest in my family with three older brothers, 2 years older, 11 years older, and 13 years older.

Of course it's normal for siblings to fight. And usually it's normal for the youngest, the one usually targeted for teasing to feel like their older siblings are crossing the line.

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I am also currently 13 and recently had my first period so it could be that my hormones are raging, but I'm pretty sure the way my brothers treat me is not okay.

For example, my best friend stabbed me in the back recently. Of course I was devastated and I was crying. I got home, my parents comforted me, but I said I wanted to be left alone. I cried for about an hour and I pulled my self together to go eat dinner. I was on the verge of crying again, but I was holding back the tears. Like if I were to talk or if anyone were to trigger me a bit I would break down there. And as I was going down the stairs, I heard my parents explain to my brothers that I was fragile and that they should be nice to me. I was grateful since my brothers are always making fun of my mistakes and judging me. So I silently came down stairs and the first thing that my oldest brother said was "You done crying?" Then he whispered "little baby" I found the courage to say "that's really mean" I could feel the tears coming back "that's right. I'm your older brother, I have the right to be mean to you." I shouted that he doesn't and ran upstairs. I haven't talked to him since.

This isn't the only thing, seriously, they're always judging me. When I found out how much I love dancing and I asked them to come to my performance, they said "No, I have better things to do, like anything else." They take every chance to be mean to me, eat my food, hit me, and throw insults at me.

My friends tease me all the time too, but after a few minutes we're all laughing together so I don't mind. But my brothers, they tease me and after a few minutes I'm in pain and crying so... I mind!

What should I do? And how should I calm down during situations were I feel like I want to punch a hole in my wall or feel like breaking down in front of everyone?

Please share your thoughts, thank you so much.

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Bronze Post Medal for All Time! 105 Posts
December 29, 20191 found this helpful
Best Answer

I am so sorry this is happening to you. I know older brothers can be quite mean at times but in some cases they carry it a bit too far. I was the oldest in my home and it was basically up to me to protect my younger brothers. I was the big sister and not the big brother. I had my moments when I would be mean to my younger brothers and a few times I was down right horrible to them. In your case you are the only girl in the family and the boys may feel that your mom and dad stick up for you a bit more than they do for them. I feel it is time now to fight back. When they go to take your food do not let them do this. Stand up for yourself and tell them no it is yours and take it and leave. Do not let them push you around. This is one reason they do it.

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They know they can get away with it so now it is time to show them they can no longer do this. If they do a few mean things to you fight back. I had a friend when I was growing up and her older brothers were down right horrible to her. So we use to think of ways to get them back. We hid things of theirs, even put water in their shoes, and put mud in their coat pockets. Nothing to bad but it worked and the boys started to leave her alone. One time she did go a bit far and when one of her brothers who was the meanest was sleeping she put glue in their hair. I would not suggest this one, but I would suggest doing small things to them like when they go to make some food walk by and grab it and run. Show them how it feels to have their food taken away.

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Anonymous
December 30, 20190 found this helpful
Best Answer

Family members ganging up on you for what? Just because they are boys, older and more of them. Sure doesn't merit approval or being right by any means. These boys need their father to set them straight and both parents should address all issues of poor behavior shown toward you. Teasing is one thing, but to be constantly picking at you. Reminds me of a group of roosters attacking one hen and never letting up....I really sympathize with you and hope your parents can do something about your siblings to end this. You are being bullied at home and it's not ending, at school one can finally say something to end it.

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As soon as you see an inkling of the boys starting to pick on you, walk away and go to one of the parent figures, so they can stop them before it escalates. Boys also want to get a reaction out of you and so far are succeeding. You either cry, look hurt or holler out in retaliation. That's what they want from you; don't give it to them and by all means don't dance to their steps. Learn how to stop them by not doing what they expect you to do. You will take them off guard. It isn't always doing with words, but with actions taken. Be tougher emotionally than they are. Get some books on how to stop the bully figure. There's always one in every group; go after that one and when you conquer the bully, others will back off.

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Gold Post Medal for All Time! 677 Posts
December 30, 20190 found this helpful

I would speak to your brothers one last time and say that they are not treating you well. I would then talk to your parents.

I know many adults who are not close with their siblings because of situations like these.

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It will be a real loss for all concerned if it ends like that.

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Anonymous
December 30, 20190 found this helpful

All brothers older than you; that's like several roosters attacking one hen. Be strong and think smart....brothers are expecting a reaction from you and they have been rewarded via your anger, crying, hollering back, getting sympathy from parents etc. Has it worked? No. So, do the opposite. Read a book or two on how to deal with bullies. In a group there's one who is the most bully. Deal with that individual and direct all toward him. Others will feel less important and the bully can be taken off guard by your change made. Turn and walk away after you've had your say in the matter and smile at the bully instead of crying, so he sees it hasn't affected you as he would have liked to do. The other brothers follow the bully and if you stop him in his tracks, others will stop too. Learn not to give them negative reactions. It might take a few times, but eventually you'll see less interest as the sparks don't fly.

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