Husband is Verbally Abusive?

I have been married for 25 years. Three months into our marriage my husband accused me of cheating on him, that never happened. Then he would say little things while we were out at footballs games, the mall, etc. like "Are you looking for your boyfriend?" On the night of my mother's wake I was asked if I was "doing" a co worker.


He would call me crazy and stupid, several times a week. During the last three years he has mellowed out, but, I will mention I confronted him about texting another woman. Is this abuse, to be honest I really don't know, my counselor says it is.

By not for sure

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December 12, 20140 found this helpful
Best Answer

This is called verbal abuse. Your therapist is right.

"Verbal abuse is the consistent demeaning of another. It may in fact take the form of angry outbursts. On the other hand it may take the form of cold, calculating, consistent put-downs. It may even take the form of disparaging humor.


The key to verbal abuse is the word demeaning. And the abuser may be a man or a woman."

December 12, 20140 found this helpful

It is verbal/mental abuse.

February 4, 20150 found this helpful

Yes, your husband is verbally abusing you. He may projecting his feelings of guilt onto you. It is very common for the cheating spouse to be the accuser. They think "I am lying, sneaking around and cheating, so my partner must be too."

The National Domestic Violence Hotline website has very specific red flags and abusive signs that they tell you to watch out for. Please visit

February 21, 20150 found this helpful

If a partner is untrusting for no good reason, it is because he is not trustworthy, he is projecting his guilt onto you. Stand up to him, and life is too short to spend it with someone who does not appreciate you, trust you, or make you happy!


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