Married to a Verbally Abusive Spouse Who Drinks?

I am 47, I have been married for 8 years. I have an older son, but he is not my husband's. My marriage has fallen apart. Over the years my husband has been verbally abusive and he has a very keen liking for alcohol. The other month my husband brought our daughter home, who is 15, in the car under the influence of alcohol.


My daughter said her bit to him and he promised he would not drink anymore. Sometimes I fear for our safety. His family thinks I am terrible as their son does no wrong in their eyes! I want a divorce, but feel like I am falling into a black hole. I am just crying all the time. Please help with some advice.

By Ann

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May 22, 20130 found this helpful

I am so sorry you had to go through this. You don't deserve it. I am hearing that you want to leave, but as in many circumstances you don't have the emotional energy to do this. If you do leave you need to get some counseling also to make sure you are supported by someone. You would be helped by knowing there is a higher power, not just a higher power that exists but one who loves you and wants the best for you, daily.


It is not the best thing to live like this.

Sometimes you need help taking the first step. Do you fear for your safety as far as the alcoholism and physical abuse? There is no reason to stay in a marriage or relationship where abuse is part of it. It voids the whole thing. The blessings/authority of a husband/man is lost when he becomes disobedient enough to abuse in any way. You have to be willing to use resources that are there to help you.

Call the local united way and find out where the resources are for women and their kids who need help. You may not have a job. That can seem scary sometimes. You need to concentrate on you and find out what steps need to be done for you to make you whole again. It starts with realizing how much God loves you and how much you need to love youself.


Blessings, Robyn

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