More Uses For Panty Hose

I was cleaning the battery terminals on my fishing car (I don't fish for sport, thank you), when I dropped a socket down into that conglomeration of wires, hoses, belts, etc. It was completely out of reach. It almost went through to the ground. What's a body to do?

Then I had a brainstorm. Well, to tell the truth, it's always quite a bit dark and cloudy in there. It doesn't lighten though. Actually, there's very little electrical activity going on. Seems my synapses have just about syned out.

Now, where was I? Oh, yes! My grand moment of improvisation. I went inside and got a leg from a pair of panty hose. Well, not an actual leg, just that part of the panty hose they call a leg. The only body parts I keep around are my own. Sometimes, I don't think they'll be around much longer.

Anyway, while I was securing that 'leg', I also rounded up one of those sticky things used for retrieving lock washers accidentally dropped down a manhole. No, it wasn't a wad of chewing gum on a long string. Hang on, I'll think of it in a minute.

Oh, yes! It was a magnet. You know, one of those things that's got connections to the poles, the North and South poles. Did you know the magnetic poles swap places ever so often. They sure do. (Well, not so often. Sometimes 500,000 years in between). And those brainy boys say we're just about ready for another 'flip flop'. That's what they call it, a flip flop. No wonder I don't know where I am half the time.

Back to my car? Oh, yes. I slipped that little magnet into that little leg and dangled it around down in there where my socket was. It took a bit of angling, you know, like when you're dealing with a wise old catfish.

But you know something? I angled and dangled that socket right outa there. Sure did. I sure did. And you know what else? Those panty hose make great strainers for water based paints. Sure do.

I hope when that flip flop comes, it won't make me sea sick like the way the rides at the county fair do.

When I was young, my aunt said my hair was so wavy it made her sea sick just to look at it.

Seems like those panty hose would be awful drafty. Are they, Betty? Good way of keeping things aired out, I guess.

I think one of my synapses is stuck in a loop.