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No Where to Go from Abusive Relationship?

I am 23 years old and I have a 2 month old baby. I have been with my bf who is the father of my son for 7 years and I can't take living with him any longer. Throughout the whole relationship it's been verbal abuse and physical fights. We both have suffered bruises. And every time I decide to leave he stands in the way and won't let me. Eventually I calm down and have to pretend everything is OK because I am on my own and my parents are far from me and I have no place else to go.

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I got tired of being slapped around so I started standing up for myself, but that only makes matters worse. I feel like I am with him only because its been 7 years and I've gotten used to not having friends and not being close to my family. My son was born in 2013 and everything went wrong. He bought everything I needed for the baby, but it's like "here I gave you what you need so deal with it on your own". He only watches the baby when he needs something. He wants me to cook everyday at twelve for lunch and for dinner. Everything he asks for I have to give it to him in hand. He is dirty and doesn't shower for the whole week. He doesn't help me much either.

I have gotten to the point were I just hate this man. I don't even look for him and I don't talk to him. He just works, comes home, and smokes pot. He is very very addicted to pot. He doesn't like to go out to do anything. I can't go out with him because small things make him very upset. He's very rude and obnoxious and I just want a happy positive life for me and my baby even if that means letting go of what is holding me back which is him.

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But it's just me, my 2 month old baby, and my dog and we have no place to go. I haven't started working and I don't have a nanny and my baby is just too small still, he needs me more than ever. What can I do to get away from this relationship that's tearing me apart? Would I qualify for housing if I left?

By Bianca from Scranton, PA

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Gold Post Medal for All Time! 969 Posts
August 8, 20130 found this helpful
Best Answer

There are at least one or more shelters in your town or close by where you and the baby and even the dog can go. You can find numbers all over the place, or go to www.thehotline.org/

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So go. Be strong and keep in mind that

A: He is endangering your health and esp' the health of your son by smoking pot, which is illegal. Call the cops some day when he is at work and you are not there anymore.

B: There will come a time when he begins to hurt the baby. You know it, so just go. When he is working, make arrangements with the safe houses and just leave.

By staying you are saying it's ok for him to hurt you. If you let him hurt your son, sorry to say you are just as bad as him.
Get out while you are still young and have some chance at a normal life.

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August 9, 20131 found this helpful
Best Answer

Contact your family, tell them the truth of what is going on and ask for their help. The further away you get the better. Don't ever return once leaving. You and your baby and the dog for that matter are in danger.

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A person like this doesn't change without help. You will be doing all of you a favor by changing this situation.

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August 9, 20130 found this helpful
Best Answer

Go to a shelter. You have so many issues right now, that none of them can be dealt with alone. A supportive shelter. This will also give your man the opportunity to work on his issues, as well. A shelter will funnel different help organizations to you and your child. Just think "happy" for one and all. Be happy. Meanwhile, try not to bear a grudge against this hated person. Because you are separated from your family, it is difficult for all concerned. Give a little kiss to your little one from me.

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August 9, 20131 found this helpful
Best Answer

My first husband was physically abusive to me, then he started on the kids. My sister helped me leave the state. I stayed in that marriage too long, you are young, your baby is young, the baby can escape without lifelong emotional damage. It is very heart-beating scary I know to make that first move, but how liberating it feels to do it.

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We are lucky enough to nowadays have a computer to do great research about local shelters, so get to researching and start living a happy life, you can do it!, I did it! Linda H. Bellevue, N.E

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September 12, 20131 found this helpful
Best Answer

Abusive people will isolate you from your support group. So the first step is to reconnect with your family and friends in any way that is available to you. Let them know what is going on. Get away from this guy. Move in with your parents, even though they are far away, if you have to for a while.

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August 7, 20131 found this helpful

You already know that by continuing to stay is enabling his state of mind. You are intelligent and strong, there must be program's that will intercede and be by your side as you discover that life can be good that you can be happy and live peacefully with your baby. But you must reach out to local agency's that will advocate for you.

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Once you take that first move forward you must not go back. Because if you know that will come back when you see him again than you are not giving yourself as not your baby a chance at a peaceful and harmonious future. So keep yoursights up and forward. :-)

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August 9, 20130 found this helpful

PS The pot smoker will have low motivation and ambition and is self-serving; don't expect anything to change. I'm glad you are recognizing this and want to get away and make a life for yourself and your family. Go with your good instincts of self preservation. There is excellent advice on this board! Listen to the voice of experience.

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August 9, 20130 found this helpful

First of all when he has smoked his pot, call the cops for endangering the welfare of a child with an illegal substance, for smoking it around the child. While he is arrested and gone, file for a restraining order and sole custody of the child. Get yourself into a shelter and call your family for help while you are at the shelter. Get away from a guy like that! Been there done that, with 2 sons under the age of 3 years.

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August 9, 20130 found this helpful

Why would you allow him to watch the baby? If he hits you he will hit the baby. Get out! Find a shelter or friends and get away!

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August 12, 20130 found this helpful

Sweetie....you obviously have access to a computer, so Google women's shelters, or something just to get away from that awful man. You are young and smart and know there's a better life for you elsewhere. That baby and you are in danger; especially with a pot head who is so addicted. What's next... meth?

Please get out and check back in here with us who care about you and the welfare of that sweet baby... and the dog!

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